White Sox Fan Obama: “Cominskey Field”
Cominskey Field, Comiskey Park… who cares? Get off his back.
It’s not like the guy said “nucular”…
Get Some Perspective, People
White Sox Fan Obama: “Cominskey Field”
Archive of entries posted on 15th July 2009
White Sox Fan Obama: “Cominskey Field”
Just Checking
In Massachusetts, east coast land of useless idiots, they’re passing a transgender right bill to make sure people can use the bathroom of whatever gender they personally identify with. Some people are protesting it (how could anyone find anything wrong with it?), and this passage jumped out at me:
Timothy Tracey, a lawyer with the conservative Arizona-based Alliance Defense Fund, told members of the Committee on the Judiciary that the bill infringes on the religious rights of those who believe that men and women are different.
It’s been a little while since my last biology class, but there is actually a scientific distinction of men and women too, right? Or am I the one who is confused?
The Obama Presidency in Five Seconds
[audio:http://www.imao.us/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/obama-fails.mp3]
How Was Heston Damning at the End of Planet of the Apes? These Scientists
Just to add to what Basil said, robots controlled by monkeys’ brains is a bad idea. I believe in Asimov’s robot laws, law number eight for robots is “Never follow the instructions of a monkey.” To make things even worse, scientists are making corpse-eating robots as well. Why? I guess they’ve just said, “The hell with it” and gone full mad scientist mode.
So now monkeys are going to control robots with their brains which will kill us and then eat us. Basically our future is going to be a combination of Planet of the Apes, Terminator, and The Matrix with a bit of Night of the Living Dead thrown in with the corpse eating. The living will envy the dead, and the dead will be eaten by robots controlled by monkeys’ brains.
Bumblin’ Barry
Since “baseless speculation” is the new “objective journalism”, I think we, as a nation, need to come up with an explanation for why Barack Obama tripped while walking through a doorway in Italy.
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* Judging by his policies, Barry’s been trippin’ since the campaign started. Why remark on it now?
* He was distracted by a sudden, terrifying vision of his teleprompter meeting an ignominious and untimely end.
* He couldn’t afford special orthopedic “tripless” shoes because SOMEBODY just pissed away the entire checking account on a $6000 purse.
* He spends all his time walking on water & hasn’t got his land-legs yet.
* For 20 glorious seconds, NOBODY was talking about the “butt-staring picture”. Totally worth it.
* We simply have to accept the fact that Obama wasn’t kidding about being like the Special Olympics.
* According to Pelosi, the CIA lied to him about the step’s existence.
* According to Biden, Obama simply “misread” how high the step was.
* Racism!
* Sarkozy pranked him into believing that stumbling over the threshold is a time-honored Italian custom (it’s actually Irish).
* He was just taking Rahm Emanuel’s advice: “any time you do ANYTHING as President, imagine how Ronald Reagan would do it, then do the exact opposite”.
* And finally, the REAL reason for the stumble:
Seems that Barry’s not just an ass-man, he’s also got a thing for fuzzy sweaters & schoolgirl skirts.
Random Thoughts
They should put the Constitution in a lineup with other documents and see if Sotomayor can identify it.
For Sotomayor, it’s either Supreme Court Justice or crazy cat lady.
I can see why housing sales are down: They’re hard to buy. Lots of paperwork. Hard to do as an impulse buy.
You have to be careful: Sometimes those baby bouncers you buy are actually refurbished paint mixers.
Sotomayor knew she was supposed to read the Constitution before the hearings, but Sessions got her to admit she only read half of it.
This Sotomayor stuff is stupid. If a white guy talked about the superiority of his race’s reasoning abilities, no one would care.
I don’t believe in atheists. I think the devil made them up and tricked us into believe they’re real.
If people were intelligently created, it doesn’t seem like it was a perfect creator. With all the bugs, it seems more like Microsoft.
Rumpelstiltskin wouldn’t be a very interesting fairy tale if the antagonist’s name was “Bob”.
“You can keep your first born if you can guess my name.”
“Is it George?”
“No.”
“Steve?”
“No.”
“Bob?”
“Dang it! People always guess it!”