Archive of entries posted on 20th July 2009

Lunacy

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Lunacy (lu·na·cy pronunciation: ˈlü-nə-sē) noun
Etymology: lunatic (1541)
1 a: insanity b: intermittent insanity once believed to be related to phases of the moon
2: wild foolishness : extravagant folly
3: a foolish act

The moon doesn’t make people crazy. However, it sure does help point to crazy people.

Take Whoopi Goldberg. Please. Take her far, far away.

The former Captain Planet and the Planeteers star has questioned the moon landings. Really.

Personally, I’d like to see Buzz Aldrin take a shot at her. Like he did this idiot:

Aldrin, though, is too much of a gentleman to punch a woman. Even Whoopi Goldberg.

So, Whoopi thinks the moon landing was a hoax.

I wonder what else she believes?

  • Vampires are real
  • Republicans are not real
  • Aliens landed at Roswell
  • JFK was killed by LBJ
  • Elvis is alive, working at a KFC in Memphis
  • Dinosaurs killed off the Neanderthal
  • The Wright Brothers faked heavier-than-air flight at Kitty Hawk
  • JFK is alive and living in the Caymans
  • Volcanos would be a great place to detonate hydrogen bombs
  • Bush lied, people died
  • Men in black are trying to read her brain waves
  • Global warming causes frostbite
  • Shakespeare wrote the screenplay to Homer and Eddie
  • Walt Disney’s frozen corpse stands in for Millard Fillmore in the Hall of Presidents at Disney World
  • The face on Mars is hers

I suspect this list isn’t complete. Anyone have any ideas what else she might believe?

Nirvana’s New Front Man

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RiffTrax Live! (This Time for Real)

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Last time I told you about RiffTrax doing a live show, they made a fool of me — a fool! — but this time instead of doing it through that buggy and untested new internet thing, they’ll be broadcast live in over 400 different theaters nationwide on August 20th. I already got tickets for the Edwards in Boise, so they better not screw it up this time.

They’ll be riffing Plan 9 from Outer Space, often considered the worst film ever (I’ve watched it before and its the fun bad instead of just the tedious bad). Michael J. Nelson once spoke at my college and I remember his explaining why MST3K never took on the movie, and I can’t remember the exact excuse, just that the excuse was lame.

BTW, RiffTrax DVDs are now available on Amazon.com and Netflix. They have DVDs of their shorts and the older movies they could get actual rights to. If you’ve ever watched MST3K, the shorts are some of the funniest things since they shove so much earnest stupidity into a very short timespan. If you have a dollar to spare, check out Drugs Are Like That.

While I’m randomly plugging stuff, The State is finally available on DVD. I remember that show being one of the funniest things ever, but I last saw it like a million years ago (high school) so I could have just been dumber then. My favorite sketch was the pope visiting an Italian restaurant which was such a stupid and not at all clever sketch that it somehow was clever. Looked for it forever on YouTube, but maybe it will pop up now.

Where I Get My Sense of Humor From

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ME: “I don’t know how Dirty Harry could stand living in San Francisco.”

DAD: “Easy. He shot people.”

Random Thoughts

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If the men who went to the moon were still alive today, they’d beat the crap out of us for being useless sissies.

Crap, a lot of them are still alive!

How Sotomayor parroted conservative judicial philosophy reminds me of how dictatorships feel compelled to have sham elections. If others feel the need to at least imitate us to have legitimacy, I think that means we’re winning.

New house has old-style “high flow” toilets. With all the water in them, each time I flush it’s like, “Screw you, environment!”

Got a great action line I need to fit into something. “Know what’s also in the eye of the beholder? MY FIST!”

To help its popularity in the Middle East, they change the theme song of True Blood to “I want to do bad things to Jew.”