Long time friend of IMAO Matt Burden (Blackfive) is running for state congress in Illinois. It’s time for bloggers to enter the political arena (Scott Ott — damn you, Scrappleface! — has also thrown his hat in the ring), and it would be nice to have someone in government I don’t particularly hate.

IMAO was actually the first blog to send Blackfive traffic, linking to one of my favorite military anecdotes of all time. It also gives you a good idea what kind of man Matt is — one who doesn’t take crap from a French general.

So put some money Matt’s way if you can (and if you’re an American; let’s keep things legal). It will be a good investment. I’m pretty tired of most of the politicians out there, so it’s time for some new ones that our children and grandchildren can get tired of.

As I mentioned in a post yesterday, it’s a lot harder getting cool stuff done in Obama’s America. It used to be I’d just go to the president and it would be like:

ME: I want to nuke the moon.

BUSH: Sounds good. Go do it.

ME: Don’t you want to know why?

BUSH: I don’t have time for that. Just take this form, fill out what you want nuked, and hand it in to the nearest general.

With Obama, it’s all about reason. So I have to be more creative:

ME: Let’s nuke the moon to… uh… get water out of rocks.

OBAMA: You can get water from rocks with nukes?

ME: Yes. Smart people know that.

OBAMA: I’m smart! I know that!

Man, I’ll have to work on a good reason to get him to approve my idea of a giant robot with gatling guns for arms. With Bush, “robots are cool” would be enough of a reason, but it will be trickier with Obama:

ME: I want to make a giant robot with gatling guns for arms.

OBAMA: That sounds awful; I’m peeing my pants just thinking about it. What possible purpose could it be other than to provoke other nations?

ME: It’s for… um… a death panel on your new health care plan.

OBAMA: Oh. Well, we’ll have to call it something else because apparently the public doesn’t like the phrase “death panel.”

ME: We can call it an “Health Care Administrating Executive.”

OBAMA: Excellent! Now can you help me get this bucket off my head? It’s stuck.

It’s hard work, but I’ll do it because I love America. And giant robots.

Jim Treacher has already had some fun with it. Now you give it a go:

Arr! I’m a Jedi! Beam me up, mateys!

My latest Pajamas Media column got linked by Fark, and while I always appreciate more readership, what a gaggle of morons. It’s almost unbelievable.

So the article is about how liberals like nothing more than to think they’re smart when they’re actually morons, and things aren’t working out so well with those smirt people in charge, so they’re lashing out angrily at every one instead of examining whether they’re as smart as they think they are. So here are most of the liberals’ responses:

“wee ar veree smirt! wee smirt! yue stoopid!”

“wee jus angree becuz yue all dum stoopid neocon heelbilly jues!”

“conservutivs jus no like intelligunt peepul like mee!”

And I think I saw one randomly posting things she found on teh internets and saying Republicans are racist until they formally denounce them.

I really hope everyone these people run into in real life just points and laughs at them or otherwise they are doing them a great disservice. We really have to examine our culture to see if we’re becoming too accommodating to useless morons. It’s not that bad being useless morons if they are cognizant of the fact they are useless morons. One of these days we have to work on a program to actually locate internet trolls to educate them on how unbelievably stupid they are. In America, you have the right to be as stupid as you want, but we also have the responsibility to make sure people know how stupid they are.

As Smokey the Bear says: “Only you can prevent stupid people from thinking they’re not stupid… and then maybe playing with matches… and setting stuff on fire… like a forest or something.”

UPDATE:

Wow, I had no idea calling Fark a gaggle of morons was a controversial statement. I was just joshing you guys; you seem all right. People who comment about politics on the internet are the smartest people around.

Anyway, the favored argument seems to be “No, you are!” Touche!