Scientific research comparing sticking with your friends through thick and thin versus abandoning them in their time of need and finding new friends shows that the latter has significant cost savings.
Archive of entries posted on 30th September 2009
Possible Dinosaurs with Rocket Launchers Problem
When I’ve been talking about how our military needs dinosaurs with rocket launchers mounted on them to face 21st century threats, the dinosaur I usually envision is the Tyrannosaurus rex, but now there is a bit of a problem. New research suggests that many of the T. rexes were felled by a sore throat. I’m sorry, but something can’t be an unstoppable killing machine if it’s vulnerable to an itchy throat. As the dinosaurs with rocket launchers cut a path of destruction through our enemies, we can’t have people tagging along with giant lozenges just in case.
We still aren’t sure what killed off the non-avian dinosaurs (I’ve long suspected mammalian treachery), but if it’s a bunch of sissy problems we may have to rethink bringing them back.
Better Than Sanctions
Obama wants to implement tough new sanctions against Iran. Well, if this is his idea of “tough”, I suspect he may have lost more than one battle to the perforations on a roll of toilet paper.
Can’t stop being Mahmoud’s bitch
Seriously, the best he could do is “we won’t sell them gasoline”? That’s not going to affect anything, since all the cars over there are made out of logs, have stone wheels, no floorboards, and are foot-propelled. It’d be more effective to stop selling them shoes.
And there’s no point in trying to negotiate with them, either. You make a statement like “we’re concerned that you might use your nuclear program to insta-glass Tel Aviv” and they just reply with random stupid nonsense like “the Holocaust never happened”. It’s like having a conversation with an iPod Shuffle.
Besides, how will our negotiators be able to make themselves heard over the crowd of American reporters flocking around Ahmadinejad, pestering him with “Can I have your autograph Mr. Starr? You’re my second-favorite living Beatle!”
History shows that sanctions & negotiations have all the long-term effectiveness of a U2 musical fund-raising concert. If we want to destroy the Iranian regime once and for all, we need a SERIOUS strategy.
I recommend something involving a fur coat, a hooker-looking white girl, and a secret videotape.
Scoff if you want, but consider this: ACORN is now such a pariah that the IRS refuses to associate with them for fear of becoming less popular, and the IRS recently lost a popularity contest to an untreatable, pus-crusted, blistery, genital rash.
If you’ve got a better idea for getting a choke-chain around Iran’s neck, I’m all ears.
Moral Authority
This morality stuff with liberals is getting kind of crazy. First there was Ted Kennedy and how his leaving a woman suffocating in a car while he took care of himself was a non-issue not worth mentioning. Then there’s ACORN, where possible funding of child prostitution for many was the lesser issue versus conservatives trying to take down a left-wing organization. And now there is Polanski, where child rape is excused.
These were not supposed to be the type of things where good people can disagree. If you don’t think child rape is bad, you shouldn’t even be in our society. Lately, Democrats have been claiming there are lots of racists in the Republican Party, but are those who excuse crimes like rape just as morally reprehensible? Don’t recent events show that Democrats and liberals have lots of house cleaning to do to get rid of people who have no place in any debate with reasonable people?
Now all the preachy idiocy of Hollywood makes more sense. Basically, we have people trying to lecture us on complex moral issues who fail on the basics like whether or not child rape is wrong. They’re trying to do advanced calculus when they can’t even add. So the next time Hollywood (or the French government) tries to tell you what is right and what is wrong, remember these are the people who thought a 47-year-old drugging and raping and 13-year-old is a small matter not worth mentioning.
Random Thoughts
Probably one of Hollywood’s biggest problems is that they try to take on complex moral issues when they fail the basics.
Let’s not let the little issue of raping a 13-year-old obscure the bigger issue: A judge may have been overzealous!
So how big a majority do the Democrats actually need to enact their idiotic agenda?
Raping a 13-year-old isn’t an “agree to disagree” thing. It’s a “you can no longer be part of our society if you disagree” thing.
How about conservatives agree to search for and kick out the racists if liberals agree to do the same for the pro-rapists.
I don’t think all — or even most — liberals are pro-rapist, but they apparently have a pro-rapist problem.
I like these “Free Polanksi” petitions. It’s so much easier when Hollywood blacklists itself.