If we’re making the Blobfish the Official Fish of IMAO, shouldn’t we make Harry Reid the Official Dirtbag Socialist Senate Majority Leader of IMAO?:
Or are we not basing this on frowning ability and eye-beadiness?
Archive of entries posted on 5th November 2009
What If Obama Was President in 1989
Fred Thompson’s Principles for a Stronger Republican Party
When I mentioned yesterday that the Republican Party now needs a great leader for everyone to rally and lead them to victory in 2010, a lot of readers suggested Fred Thompson. He does seem like a good choice, and already has a number of bedrock principles for the GOP:
FRED THOMPSON’S PRINCIPLES FOR A STRONGER REPUBLICAN PARTY
* If you are a Republican and don’t hold conservative positions, you will be destroyed. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve called yourself a Republican or even if you’re the sun.
* The Republican platform should be so awesome that any hippy reading it should feel like he just got punched in the face. This is right before he turns around and sees that Fred Thompson is behind him and then actually gets punched in the face.
* The government should be dramatically reduced in size. If Democrats don’t support that legislation, then Fred Thompson will go out there with a sledgehammer and reduce the size of government himself.
* Any people trying to turn America into some socialist, nanny state like Europe will be deported to Europe. And then Europe will be bombed for harboring Communists.
* The troops will immediately get anything they need, whether it be more troops, better weapons, support from space-based lasers, dinosaurs with rocket launchers on them, or giant robots who transform.
* Moderates will always be welcome in the Party as long as they never ever speak and vote as they’re told.
* Anyone calling himself a Republican but voting for taxes and the expansion of government will be fired out of a cannon into the sun. Then the sun will be fired out of even larger cannon into a supermassive black hole.
Lightning Round 11-4-09
The illustrated version of The Lightning Round from the 11-4-09 Fred Thompson Show:
“Saving Jobs” Explained
Boston Globe – “more than two-thirds of 14,506 jobs credited to the recovery act by Head Start programs involved pay increases.”
See, if they hadn’t given their employees pay raises, they would have had to fire them.
The Blobfish
Dude, how have I never heard of this guy:
Why?
He’s the blobfish, and somehow it’s gone so far into pathetic that it’s circled around back into totally awesome. Just look at him; he should so be Aquaman’s sidekick.
He’s a good example of evolution as he’s very specially and oddly adapted to his environment of living in great depths under high pressure. Basically, he’s a fish reduced to a pile of goo that just floats there. He’s also a good example of intelligent design, because I think God gave him the nose just because it’s funny.
Anyway, I think I’ll name him the official fish of IMAO. Sorry, alligator gar.
Random Thoughts
The important things about this off-year election is that we learned something and the Democrats didn’t.
Can we find dishonest conservatives? Ones who talk all moderate in the election but go crazy right-wing when elected?
If you don’t think donating to the RNC is very helpful then donate to those liberal organizations that plan to start a war with blue dogs.
Is there a funnier phrase than “Harry Reid’s leadership”?
I’m confused about what the conflict in Ireland is about. Who stole whose lucky charms?
The Yankees winning is such an underdog moment because who is more of an underdog than a team loathed by the entire country?
