Archive of entries posted on 10th November 2009

Frank on Science!: God

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As you probably know, what the first thing everyone is required to do when becoming a scientist is disprove the existence of God. There is the traditional disproof (“Can God create a rock He cannot lift?”), but we like people to be creative and come up with their own proofs (a popular one today is, “If God is so perfect, how come He didn’t patent the iPhone?”). While it is understood that God and Science! conflict, not everyone understands why.

In Science!, there is the “observer effect”, which is that observing anything in nature also affects it. God is omnipresent, which means He’s observing everything. So, in effect, God is screwing up all our experiments. So, there are two ways around this: Disprove God or come up with same way to keep Him from watching and corrupting our experiments.

Disproving God is the easiest option, but there are some efforts to do experiments in ways to negate the God bias. Hell is supposed to be farthest from God’s influence, so doing experiments there may be less corrupted. Of course, then we have to deal with that Satan guy always looking over our shoulders. He creeps us out. I mean, he’s bipedal and has cloven hooves; that makes no evolutionary sense whatsoever.

Science!

lolterizt! Part 94

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This week terrorists, next week That One. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.


[reference link]

From Rick of The Rabid Conservative:

My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Rott3nHippi3 of Obama 08 Promise Tracker:

From Gregg:

Also from Gregg:

[reference link]

From Jasonius:

From Rick of The Rabid Conservative:

From Wendy:

This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:

PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolterizt! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

HAT TIP: Snapped Shot for handy links to ripe-for-captioning photos.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

Happy Birthday, Marines!

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Thanks for killing bad people in foreign lands!

It’s a special day for the Marines, and here is how I heard they will spend it:

MARINES’ PLAN FOR BIRTHDAY

1. Kill evil foreigners.

2. Punch hippies.

3. Kill evil foreign hippies.

4. Eat cake.

5. Open presents of more ammo.

6. Share present with evil foreigners.

7. Contemplate root causes of what makes foreigners evil.

8. Determine it’s them breathing.

9. Kill evil foreigners having a birthday and eat their cake and open their presents.

10. Tell schoolkids not to do drugs.

11. Blow stuff up.

12. Sleep, have dreams of battles in which they easily best ninjas and pirates.

Anyway, thanks again, Marines, for keeping America safe. I’d wish for peace in the world, but then you’d probably get bored.

And this seems as good a time as any to post the Warrior Song again because it’s fun:

Also, don’t forget to donate to Valour IT in the Marines’ name; they’re nearly to their goal:

Random Thoughts

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While I had a few thoughts yesterday, they were very deterministic and not random at all.

Lightning Round 11-9-09

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The illustrated version of The Lightning Round from the 11-9-09 Fred Thompson Show:


[YouTube direct link]

What If America Goes Broke?

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In my new Pajamas Media column, I explore what options we have if America goes broke. Or should I say “when”?

An Animal’s Tale

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The dead geese lay crumpled on the ground. Nearby, dozens of injured geese were stunned by the attack. The pigs, chickens, goats, horses, turkeys, dogs, and other animals on the farm were shocked by the event.

The horse asked, “Who did this?”

“A duck,” said the dog.

“Oh, you can’t say that,” said the donkey. “It happened in the geese pen. It was an animal that was in with the geese. Maybe it was just a goose that was upset with the way the farm has been run.”

“But, it looked like a duck,” said the turkey.

“Racist!” said the donkey.

The elephant stood nearby, nodding.

“I saw it walk over from the side of the pen and begin attacking the geese that were gathered in the center,” said the goat. “It walked like a duck.”

“Oh, no, don’t say that!” said the donkey.

“Blaming ducks is wrong,” said the monkey, sitting at his typewriter.

The elephant stood nearby, nodding.

The pig spoke up. “I heard it quack.”

“Racist!” yelled the donkey.

“Racist!” yelled the monkey.

The elephant stood nearby, nodding.

In the pen, another duck just smiled.