Really late to the party (I barely ever make teleprompter references any more), but they manage to squeeze some more humor out of it. See, you can make fun of Obama if you’re actually funny and not a drooling sycophant:
Archive of entries posted on 17th November 2009
Notice on Frank J.’s Stance on Sarah Palin
I’ve decided I need to shake things up at IMAO, so I’ve decided to hate Sarah Palin. I guess I was a little flummoxed on her resigning as governor, and now I’ve decided to run with that and turn it into full-blown irrational hatred. I can’t stand it any time she talks. I can’t stand it any time she posts to Facebook. I’m having trouble standing my own wife because she is also named Sarah (but that goes back a bit).
Sarah Palin is a dumb stupid who is going to destroy the Republican Party with her ignorance and not-reading-newspapersness. She’s going to teach our children that dinosaurs are thousands of years old which will make the unqualified for all the jobs in which knowing the correct age of dinosaurs is required. Also, she’s pro-earthquake.
So, I hate her and want her to go away. If you think I’m off base here, tell me in the comments. If you think I’m really off base, go around telling people how awful I am and that they should come visit IMAO to see how dumb and hateful I am and yell at me. And if they like Sarah Palin, tell them I think they’re stupid and should die.
Slogans for Dick Cheney in 2012
It would be pretty awesome if Dick Cheney runs for president in 2012; liberal brains would probably explode and they’d all die if he won. He could even have his daughter, Liz Cheney as a running mate (“Take Your Daughter to Lead Day”). Not to get ahead of myself, I already came up with some slogans for Cheney’s presidential run (Exurban Jon also has some slogans, but he totally stole the idea from me):
SLOGANS FOR DICK CHENEY IN 2012
“I know what the hell I’m doing.”
“You’d rather me on your side than against you.”
“Experience, leadership, normal-sized ears.”
“I shoot my friends in the face with a shotgun. What do you think I’ll do to America’s enemies?”
“I’m what the Mayans predicted.”
“Heart attacks don’t even slow me down.”
“The only time I’ll bow before a foreign leader is in preparation for an uppercut.”
“I already control everything; let’s just make it official.”
“Torturing terrorists may not make reliable intelligence, but does make reliable fun.”
“If I’m busy being president, I won’t have time to eat your children’s souls.”
“Say ‘Go @#$% yourself!’ to the entire world.”
“Vote for me and I’ll consider not strangling this box of puppies.”
“I’ll piledrive a foreign leader before I’ll bow to one.”
“Probably not going to win a Nobel Peace Prize.”
“KSM will get to plead his case to my shotgun.”
“You want a change? How about a president who doesn’t give a rat’s ass what anyone thinks about him.”
“You don’t inaugurate me; you unleash me.”
“I will say, ‘Mr. Ahmadinejad, tear off your own face.’ And he will do as I tell him.”
“Yes we can of whoop ass.” (assist to Lori Z)
UPDATE:
I should mention my favorite from Jim Treacher: “It’s not a smirk. You’re just not worth the attention of my whole face.”
lolbama! Part 27
This week, That One. Next week, terrorists. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com
Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.
NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.
From Don:
My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:
From Carl:
From Porpie:
From Robert:
[reference link]
Also from Robert:
From Velvet Elvis:
This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:
PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolbama! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.
#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.
MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.
STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.
Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.
tWits
SarahK (you remember her? I think she like married me) is now posting at a new blog, tWits.ws, along with Caleb Howe of Red State, Lori Z of Snark and Boobs, and Tommy Christopher, their token liberal (boo! liberal!). It’s sort of a Twitter-based blog, as everyone loves Twitter (you love Twitter), and they have posts of hashtag fun and other stuff like politics and internet humor (here’s SarahK’s most recent post). So check it out; it might be neat to read a funny blog.
And here is an exclusive from them – Video of the White House PowerPoint presentation on the bowing controversy:
Lightning Round 11-16-09
The illustrated version of The Lightning Round from the 11-16-09 Fred Thompson Show:
Random Thoughts
When I one day have a son, I think I’ll give him a biblical name like Ham, Nimrod, or Poncho Pilot.
I don’t get why we need universal health care. If the universe gets sick, isn’t it rich enough to pay for its own doctor?
Obama is solving Americans problems if our problems were too much money.
Skullduggery is the worst kind of duggery.
I hate multiplayer, online games. I play videogames because I don’t like interacting with real people.
One advantage of being poor is you never have to worry about your children murdering you for your inheritance.
Old White Men – UPDATED 11/23/2009
As an American, I feel that the major political parties should be representative of America.
And that’s the problem with the Republican party. As anyone on the left, or in the traditional media, will tell you, the GOP is the party of old white men.
And they’re right. Just look at these prominent Republicans.
Let’s start with Republican Party chairman Michael Steele:
Old White Man
Look at the two GOP politicians that have ignite the most passion in Republican followers. First, former Alaska governor Sarah Palin:
Old White Man
Next, Minnesota 6th District Representative Michele Bachmann:
Old White Man
And, it’s not just the party politicians, it’s those in the media. Take a look at two of the major Republican pundits that appear most on news shows.
First, Michelle Malkin:
Old White Man
Then, there’s Ann Coulter:
Old White Man
It’s old white men like these that are holding the Republican party back. Until the GOP takes actions to make itself more diverse, they’ll never be taken seriously again.
UPDATE:
More Old White Men, as suggested by others…
IMAO commenter Jimmy suggests:
Conservative Christian entertainer AlfonZo Rachel (Zo)
Old White Man
Author and talk show host Laura Ingraham
Old White Man
Louisiana governor Bobby Jindal
Old White Man
IMAO commenter Alice H suggests:
Alaska Senator Lisa Murkowski
Old White Man
Communications strategist Dana Perino
Old White Man
IMAO commenter Dohtimes suggests:
Talk show host Dana Loesch
Old White Man
IMAO commenter shiggz suggests:
Actress Patricia Heaton
Old White Man
UPDATE II
Former Secretary of State Dr. Condoleezza Rice
Old White Man
Stanford University Hoover Institution Senior Fellow Dr. Thomas Sowell
Old White Man
Supreme Court Associate Justice Clarence Thomas
Old White Man
George Mason University Professor of Economics Dr. Walter Williams
Old White Man