Archive of entries posted on 18th November 2009
The New Apocalypse
Hugo Chavez is teaming with Cubans to bomb clouds. The Chinese did something similar to get their first snow fall. Added to this, it’s an actual scientific theory that time-traveling birds are sabotaging the Large Hadron Collider. So basically we have Communists controlling the weather and time-traveling birds sabotaging our equipment. It kinda looks like we’re headed towards some sort of apocalypse scenario that science fiction authors never predicted — one that doesn’t involve apes or robots.
So heads up.
Frank on Science!: Railguns
In all my talk about giant robots, dinosaurs with rocket launchers, and space lasers, some of you think I haven’t paid enough attention to railguns. I’ve decided you have a point, so you won’t be banned (for now).
Unlike the other things, we’re making clear progress on railguns. For the longest time, scientists looked at the magnets holding up pictures of their nephews on the refrigerator and wondered how they could be used to kill people. The answer is railguns. Railguns use two magnetized rails to launch a projectile and was name after its first designer, Tommy P. Railgun. Magnetism more efficiently transfers energy to the projectile, making it fly even faster than a projectile launched by explosives.
Some wonder why a railgun still has a muzzle flash even though gunpowder isn’t used. This is just from its shear awesomeness. The air actually sets itself on fire in the presence of a railgun just to show it’s approval. This is also why a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick has a muzzle flash.
The proposed application of the railgun is to be used in military arenas where we need to be extra awesome. The proposed name for this is “Operation Look at Our Awesome Railguns”. Basically, we’ll have the Taliban cornered in some cave and then surround and pummel them with railguns. That will have to do until we can put railguns on the more logical platform: Giant battlemechs.
Science!
Lightning Round 11-17-09
The illustrated version of The Lightning Round (with FTS Executive Producer Greg Tantum filling in for Jeri Thompson) from the 11-17-09 Fred Thompson Show:
Random Thoughts
Obama needs to make jobs for actual congressional districts; stimulus money shouldn’t just go to people who live in the Twilight Zone.
Republicans only want to help rich people like Tony Stark and Scrooge McDuck.
My least favorite politicians: Hitler, Stalin, and Sarah Palin. And what do they all have in common? Mustaches. Palin has a mustache of the soul.
My reasons for hating Palin are both too numerous and too vague to mention.
Answer this honestly: Are the names Palin gave her kids the choices of a sane woman?
If sexy vampires are now popular, maybe it is high time for sexy politicians.
When I type in the numbers to text “hooray!”, the phone gives me “Goosby!” I’ve decided that’s my new exclamation of triumph.
Interestingly I have just about as much interest to see Avatar as I did Titanic.
Is the word “dictionary” defined in the dictionary, because you obviously know what it means if you know to look it up in the dictionary.
The way you become the one true conservatives is to denounce all other conservatives. It’s a bit like Highlander.
Handy Tips for President Obama on Behavior in Foreign Countries
In my latest Pajamas Media column, I have a bunch of tips for Obama on how to behave himself in other countries. Did you know that different countries have different cultures?