Make sure you memorize a codeword that only you know. That way if someone visits you claiming to be your future self, it should be easy for him to identify himself.
Archive of entries posted on 30th November 2009
The 12 Days of O-Mas
Basil took the song that we wrote over at tWits a few days ago & made an illustrative video (that’s not him singing, though–that’s me).
[Direct YouTube link]
Incriminating Excerpts from the Climategate E-Mails
Those Climategate e-mails are pretty bad for climate science. Here are some of the most incriminating excerpts I’ve found:
“We need volunteers to help strangle baby polar bears so we can leave their corpses out for great photos on the devastation of global warming.”
“Because of the increased scrutiny, we’re going to have to ask you all to stop using Ouija boards to confirm your findings.”
“As I was unable to get the journal to not publish the denialist’s paper, I kidnapped the publisher’s family to force him to comply. Anyone have a place I can hide them?”
“I saw the latest Al Gore speech on climate change and he didn’t say one thing that was even remotely true. I think his brain his fried. Can we blame that on global warming?”
“One of the denialists found out that the data for my conclusive proof of global warming was corrupted because cats like to lay on the temperature sensors. We may need to redefine “peer review” to keep his paper from being published. Also, when in science is it okay to murder?”
“I can’t get a publisher for my scifi novel about a post-apocalyptic future. I think I’ll just see if I can get it published in a journal as a scientific prediction on what will happen from global warming.”
“The data seems to suggest that most of the warming comes from some large heat source that floats over the earth daily. What the hell could that be?”
“It ends up one of the glaciers is melting because we left a space heater on it. We need to go fetch it and kill the Eskimos who saw it.”
“Yes, the computer simulation I’ve been running is actually Halo, but we’re all so sure about climate change so why should I waste my time doing boring programming when I can play Halo?”
“So how long until we should say the earth is doomed if people don’t do as we tell them? If we use too short a time, people will think we are already doomed and not do anything, and if we use too long a time they won’t care. I’m going with ten years. That’s worked well for the last twenty years.”
“Ends up the report we’ve been touting lately wasn’t made by scientists but by escapees from the insane asylum who got their hands on white lab coats. In our defense, they looked very sciencey. As always, tell no one.”
“On second thought, delete all e-mails that reference Al Gore. Let’s pretend we don’t know him.”
“I got an idea to really illustrate to the public the dangers of global warming: Let’s set an orphanage on fire and blame it on increased temperatures. If anyone knows some good accelerants, please share. Yay! Science is fun!”
“So we all agree we are now so certain about global warming we don’t need to waste time collecting data and can just make the numbers up?”
Random Thoughts
Does Obama use the teleprompter to know what to say or does the teleprompter use Obama to give itself voice?
My wife watches Red Eye every day; it’s her Oprah.
I bought my wife a car, so she let me get one of those extra big Reese’s peanut butter cups.
Does Google Wave have a “Getting Started” or a “What the Hell Is This?”? More pages should have a WTHIT.
I think Google Wave is supposed to be the next e-mail or something except I don’t remember being confused about what e-mail did.
In real life, I bet John Lithgow could beat up Sylvester Stallone.
The difference between climate change science and sorcery is sorcery doesn’t try to the fix the peer preview process.
There are also other differences if I’m being completely honest.
I trust science. I distrust scientists. Though, scientists were made by science according to scientists’ science.
I trust ice cream.
To help combat faulty science, stores should check that someone has a PhD before selling him a white lab coat.
Looks like the USPS lost my last shipment of comic books. I think we can now safely say that Obama’s federal government is a failure. Say what you want about Bush, he made the comic books come on time.