The dead geese lay crumpled on the ground. Nearby, dozens of injured geese were stunned by the attack. The pigs, chickens, goats, horses, turkeys, dogs, and other animals on the farm were shocked by the event.
The horse asked, “Who did this?”
“A duck,” said the dog.
“Oh, you can’t say that,” said the donkey. “It happened in the geese pen. It was an animal that was in with the geese. Maybe it was just a goose that was upset with the way the farm has been run.”
“But, it looked like a duck,” said the turkey.
“Racist!” said the donkey.
The elephant stood nearby, nodding.
“I saw it walk over from the side of the pen and begin attacking the geese that were gathered in the center,” said the goat. “It walked like a duck.”
“Oh, no, don’t say that!” said the donkey.
“Blaming ducks is wrong,” said the monkey, sitting at his typewriter.
The elephant stood nearby, nodding.
The pig spoke up. “I heard it quack.”
“Racist!” yelled the donkey.
“Racist!” yelled the monkey.
The elephant stood nearby, nodding.
In the pen, another duck just smiled.
But is it racist for the farmer to shoot the duck with a shotgun?
[A new farmer obtained a 4-year lease last November. I don’t think the new farmer knows how to use a gun. And he certainly doesn’t want you having one. – B]
If it walks like one, talks like one, looks like one, then well, it bloody well must be one.
Ducks can smile?
[Evil ducks can. – B]
Is the pig wearing lipstick? HAHAHAHAHOHOHOHAHAHAH!!!!
do ducks have have opposable thumbs?
The other animals are right. It’s racist to assume that a duck did this.
It is ironic though that every day there are deadly attacks on innocent animals just like the one you wrote about above, where the perpetrators that look just like ducks shout “Ducks are great!”. But, I’m not seeing a connection.
Mmmmm, duck.
Ducks do the crime and hide behind the whine! Good show Basil old man!
“AFLAC AKBAR!”
[the monkey wrote]
“Ducks are all about peace – so a real duck couldn’t possibly have done this. Also, the goose must have done something to provoke the duck that didn’t do it.”
was the ducks name Achmed, and did he keep saying I’ll KEEELLL YOU?
Then the lawyers from the “Center for Duck/Farm Animals Interest League” showed up and threatened the farmer with law suits for profiling. Then all the other animals, including the surviving geese and the farmer, had to take racial sensitivity training, anger management classes and forced to read and retain a copy of the “duckoran.”
Chickens taste better than ducks, Homer. Does that make me a racist?
Maybe it was a radicalized goose.
The duck should be roasted on a spit – though it may take an eternity for proper doneness.
A gunman is in custody Tuesday after reportedly taking the principal hostage at an upstate New York high school, a town official told Fox News.
MyFoxNY.com reported that the man holding the principal hostage has a son in the military and is upset with the government.
Any doubt this guy will be labeled a right wing duck within an hour?
Unless he’s black/ muslim/gay but let’s not jump to conclusions.
http://www.seattlepi.com/local/411951_shooting07.html?source=mypi
Suspect in police shooting ‘lone domestic
terroristright wing duck’Christopher J. Monfort is believed
to have worked aloneto be white and non-Muslim, therefore a right wing duck supremacist.I like roast duck in an apricot sauce.
As a once and future (Mustang!) Goose, I deeply believe that ducks should be banned from the barnyard. It has nothing to do with religion, per se, but rather the intents and purposes of said religion. Any thought process/belief that leads to the determination that an entire populous should be exterminated based on their beliefs is rightfully met with defensive behavior.
Years ago, a huge sweep occurred banning the Confederate flag and neo-Nazi-type groups from the military. Barracks were tossed and soldiers reprimanded. And rightfully so. The military is in place to defend those who cannot defend themselves, not as a breeding ground for hate and discontent–no matter what your color, religion, or beliefs might entail.
If it’s good for the goose, it’s good for the gander. It’s time people see Islam, er ducks, as the problem, and not the peaceful religion they are reported to be. The Koran is just a boom-making manual.
You racist Quackers! See what I did there?
Actually this was all the previous owner of the farms fault.
Wow, I just don’t know what to……………wow.
On a serious note, I just want to say, good job with this, Basil. This is one of my recent favorites. I especially like how it takes me back to “Animal Farm” by Orwell. It works on a number of levels.
…and the elephant in the room, quietly confirming what we all, deep down in our hearts know to be true.
Beautiful.
You wanna see some real racists, you look at gazelles. Those racist gazelles keep claiming that lions will kill them given the chance, with nothing but thousands of years of history as proof. Racist gazelles.
Farmer O’Barmer strolled by and saw the bloody, feather strewn scene and calmly told the animals not to jump to conclusions. Farmer O’Barmer was half duck and half goose. Although he was the son of a duck and a goose, Farmer O’Barmer appeared to be a chicken. Which is ironic because if O’Barmer’s father had choked his chicken one fateful day…………
“All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.”
– George Orwell, Animal Farm 1945.
I can read the new writing on the barnyard wall
This farm has monkeys and elephants, ignore the killing and celebrate the diversity!!!
Fan-freakin’-tastic