Obama Apologizes For Curtseying to Japanese Emperor

TOKYO (AP) – After executing what appeared to be an extremely deep bow upon meeting Japan’s Emperor Akihito last Saturday, President Barack Obama later apologized for his “ungainly and ill-executed curtsey”.

Worst. Curtsey. Ever.

“I was just trying to show a little respect for the Emperor’s culture,” said Obama, explaining his poorly-performed gesture, “and I guess I got a little confused. At first I thought ‘I should greet him as a fellow head-of-state’, so I started shaking his hand. Then I thought, ‘I should to show that I’m not some arrogant cowboy like Bush, so I need to bow super-low’. But then I noticed his wife and thought, ‘I should respect her gender, so I need to curtsey’. I kinda ended up doing all three at once, and I guess I didn’t do any of them very well.”

At a press conference on Monday, White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs defended Obama’s intention in performing the gesture of feminine subservience.

“The President has a duty to repair the damage done to America’s reputation abroad by the previous administration. Other nations are used to America acting with confidence, assertiveness, and a certain degree of manhood. What better way to repair the damage than by acting like a quavering, spineless little girl?”

President Obama said that, for future trips involving greeting foreign dignitaries, he would wear a dress as a means of helping him adopt a more competent implementation of his womanly genuflections.

“But not one of Michelle’s dresses,” insisted the President. “I wouldn’t put my dog’s lawn-patties in one of those tacky trash-bags.”

10 Comments

  1. With everyone starting to recognize the US has a weasily, weak-kneed, unpatriotic president, I was reminded of this story about a country that has the opposite problem…….

    Georgian President Mikheil Saakashvili allegedly punched his prime minister in the face before throwing a telephone at him.

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/georgia/3949097/Georgia-President-Saakashvili-punched-prime-minister-in-the-face.html

    BTW – I said it on the “leader of the Free World” thread, but I was late to the party there so I’ll say it again here…Sarkozy is good, and he deserves his props, but the best national leader right now is Stephen Harper of Canada.

    If this were the NFL, I would trade Obama, Biden, Clinton, and the entire Congress for Harper. It would be a bargain.

  2. Didn’t he learn the last time not to bow to kings and emperors? I wouldn’t be surprised to see him fall to his knees and kiss the shoes of the next leader he meets. Maybe he’s saving that for Kim Jung Il.

    What an embarrassment.

  3. Good one, Harvey, this one is a classic. This is why when people try to tell me you’re a Frank J. sockpuppet, I tell them “Oh no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, if anything, Frank J is a Harvey sockpuppet.

    Not that there would be anything wrong with that!

  4. I take issue with the use of feminine imagery when describing Obama and his inability to behave like a man. I am a woman who happens to have brass balls. I keep them in glass case. Sarah Palin, I bet, also has brass balls. Obama is more akin to a eunuch. He’s got the necessary equipment. He is just incapable of using it.

  5. Pingback: Obama Bows to Japan’s Emperor

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