It would be pretty awesome if Dick Cheney runs for president in 2012; liberal brains would probably explode and they’d all die if he won. He could even have his daughter, Liz Cheney as a running mate (“Take Your Daughter to Lead Day”). Not to get ahead of myself, I already came up with some slogans for Cheney’s presidential run (Exurban Jon also has some slogans, but he totally stole the idea from me):
SLOGANS FOR DICK CHENEY IN 2012
“I know what the hell I’m doing.”
“You’d rather me on your side than against you.”
“Experience, leadership, normal-sized ears.”
“I shoot my friends in the face with a shotgun. What do you think I’ll do to America’s enemies?”
“I’m what the Mayans predicted.”
“Heart attacks don’t even slow me down.”
“The only time I’ll bow before a foreign leader is in preparation for an uppercut.”
“I already control everything; let’s just make it official.”
“Torturing terrorists may not make reliable intelligence, but does make reliable fun.”
“If I’m busy being president, I won’t have time to eat your children’s souls.”
“Say ‘Go @#$% yourself!’ to the entire world.”
“Vote for me and I’ll consider not strangling this box of puppies.”
“I’ll piledrive a foreign leader before I’ll bow to one.”
“Probably not going to win a Nobel Peace Prize.”
“KSM will get to plead his case to my shotgun.”
“You want a change? How about a president who doesn’t give a rat’s ass what anyone thinks about him.”
“You don’t inaugurate me; you unleash me.”
“I will say, ‘Mr. Ahmadinejad, tear off your own face.’ And he will do as I tell him.”
“Yes we can of whoop ass.” (assist to Lori Z)
UPDATE:
I should mention my favorite from Jim Treacher: “It’s not a smirk. You’re just not worth the attention of my whole face.”
“You don’t inaugurate me; you unleash me.”
Now that’s the best campaign slogan ever.
“Vote for me, give the left a heart attack”
Vote for me, I shall destroy our enemies starting with Congress!
“You don’t inaugurate me; you unleash me.”
Holy crap.
* [pumps shotgun]
* “How can you not love a man who preferred to be called ‘Dick’ in high school?”
* Cheney: the good kind of Irish.
* “Sometimes I eat hot dogs with ketchup just to mess with Harry.”
I think FrnakJ deserves a post in the Cheney admin just for this post
“Think of it. Me in the White House and Fred Thompson as Secretary of Defense. That’s what makes terrorists, liberals and Hugo Chavez crap in their pants.”
“Four words: Hunting Season On Congress. No bag limit!”
“I’ll give you hippies a 5 minute start. Run, Hippie, run!”
* Cheney 2012: the Apocalypse running scared
* Repeal the last four years
* Visualize no ammo shortages
My God – it’s full of win!
Grounded gravitas, not groveling gerbils
50, not 57 states, Demwit
God, Guns, & Haliburton
Sharks & cudas, not Wooks and Zombies
Bomb Iran, not the moon
Employ Americans, not Teleprompters
I didn’t know liberals had brains to explode in the first place.
Jon says this about Frank J: but he stole my mint collection of Tiger Beat back issues …so we are even
Cheney Wouldn’t take that, Frank.
Frank? Frank?
Put down the magazine and no one gets hurt.
SLOGANS FOR DICK CHENEY IN 2012
“I shot my friend hunting, imagine what I’ll do to my enemys”
“if you won’t give me a peace pize I’ll just take it!!!”
“the polar bears in ANWAR want us to drill for oil.”
“Who needs Riddick? I’LL kill you with my tea cup.”
Dick Cheney…giving non-homosexuals someone to vote for!
I am seriously dying laughing over here. I can’t believe some of these– hilarious. Please put up one up for Sarah Palin’s… please please please. 🙂
“Slogans for Dick Cheney in 2012”
“because it time to send that village in Kenya back it’s idiot.”
Dick Cheney – He puts a thrill up Chuck Norris’ leg.
“Yes. I. Can.”
Heart attack?!? Who said I had a heart?
This post is now (indirectly) getting nods from Hot Air.
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These are so stinkin’ funny!!!
Dick, Dick, Dick *tsk tsk tsk* Cheney endorses RINO KBH over conservative Gov Rick Perry in Texas governor race *sigh*
Dick is not strictly a conservative on domestic affairs. But on foreign matters, he makes Reagan look gentile.
Oy!
Cheney / Rumsfeld 2012!
Shoot or strangle… your choice hippy!
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I prefer:
“Resistance is futile, you will be annihilated.”
They won’t Dick with Dick.
Every mother in Israel should tell their children bed-time stories of how God sent Dick Cheney to give them 10 more years from destruction from Arab neighbors to get their temple built.
The name “Dick Cheney” sends a chilld down Kaiser Sose’s leg.
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All this is a bunch of crap for Chicken Hawks. Cheney was a draft dodger, begging for 5 deferments so he didn’t have to go to Vietnam, when other Americans were dying in Vietnam. Chicken when it’s their turn, Hawk when you are passed the golden age of 26 and won’t be forced to fight America’s wars. You people need to become real patriots, if that is possible.
Dick Cheney- Draft Dodger Made Good!
Well, I guess you could say Cheney made good. If getting killed 4 thousand Americans and draining many, many billions of dollars from US taxpayers while China gets stronger and stronger and more and more wealthy is making good, well you’re correct. Although American patriots may disagree.
Wake up, wise up, rise up, speak out!
I’m the devil and I know it, now it’s time for you to admit it …
Draft Cheney; This time there will be no deferment.
“Dick this!”
Vote Cheeney — the only person that can make Bush and Nixon look good!
Had enough of the pussy Obama….Get Dick!!!!
How about “Let finish off America, Vote Cheney”
cheney is still a dick
Vote Dick. Eternal war. Massive profits to himself, Halliburton and contractors. F*** the troops, let them get their own when they need body armor, and when they get help when they get home.
Vote Dick. The biggest global terrorist and proponent of genocide since Hitler!
Vote Dick. A ‘conservative’ who says that ‘deficits don’t matter.’
Vote Dick. A man who never saw a war he couldn’t profit from.
Vote Dick. F*** the future, and f*** your kids.
Vote Dick. He’s gotten nothing right in 20 years.
Vote Dick. Torture starts offshore, then comes home.
Vote Dick. No one likes a police state more than a war profiteer.
Vote Dick. Who else could double the natl debt in 8 years?
Vote Dick. He hates democracy as much as his MidEastern puppet regimes.
Vote Dick. He’s an enemy of the Constitution.
Vote Dick. Send your money to Dick at Undisclosed Location, WY. It’ll get there.
I’m a fuckwad, but you knew that