It’s important to distinguish yourself as one of the educated class. The best way to do this is to wear a top hat, a monocle, and a bright orange t-shirt that says, “ME INTEELECTUAL!” Careful if David Brooks sees you, though, as he might get angry at you for stealing his outfit, and he does bite.
Top Hat or Turban?
Monocle or rose colored glasses?
Orange colored t-shirt or Red Diapers?
Who the hell is David Brooks?
I iron the crease in my pants with an 80 ton hydraulic press. That keeps the intellectuals from asking too many questions.
I’m uneducated beyond high school. I like going to smart websites and pointing out I’m uneducated and so everyone else should feel superior.
Then, usually someone else starts bragging about how they’re even less educated than me and I lose my uneducated status bragging rights. That won’t happen here, will it?
David Brooks fights like a girl. He swings and swings, and and you simply stand back and laugh at him.
My liberal neighbor likes to point out how smart he is. He’s alway going around like: “Me sooo smeert you be dum” “Booooooosh iz bad” “U dum stoopid hillbillie me so much better” “U start worshipin Obama now he giv U Free Health kare. My response to to him is to show him my Gadsen flag, he then runs away screaming like a little sissy girl.
david brooks what david brooks. I don’t got to show you no stinkin david brooks.
I thought my shirt would say, “Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200.”
so if Mr. Peanut put on an orange t-shirt, then….?
Also wear a cravat.
Oh he bites all right! Watch out for Brook’s pince-nez ( Mr. Peanut is adorned with a monocle)! Cravat? Isn’t that the crazy beotch neighbor on Bewitched?
Good point, Meredith. Spats are a good idea, too.
The TRUE inteelikshool sports tweed suits, craps Herbert Marcuse diarrhea, blows Noam Chomsky snotrockets, can read Aramaic, rarely tends to personal hygene, drinks chai and Four Roses highballs, rides a three-speed Raleigh bicycle, may or may not-depending on how unconventional they’re trying to be-indulge in buggery of thir acolytes or undergrad students, and suffer from tinnitus from putting their ears too close to the sound horn of their Victrola whilst listening to 78rpm records of Sid Bechet.
Top hats, monocles, or spats for that matter are for the oft-bribed, mincing, and pompous members of a university’s Board of Overseers.
Make sure the t-shirt has an iron-on picture of a tie on it. It projects class.
No wonder I do not know who David Brooks is. First of all he is Canadian. Second he was a liberal, until he came to his “senses.” Third, he writes for the New York Times. I have no clue about anyone working for the New York Times. I wouldn’t even insult a hamster by using the paper as a liner. I do not understand how David Brooks continues to write for the Times if he claims he is no longer a liberal. Sounds like conflict of interest.
So if David Brooks bites you do you inevitably turn into an insufferable twit or is there a window of opportunity in which to seek emergency treatment?
David Brooks bites? I always heard he just sucks!
David Brooks is better than us. All of the poo-flinging monkeys say so. We should listen to him. Or face thwe wrath of the poo-flinging monkeys.
David Brooks and his brother should have stuck to making clothes. It “fits” them much better.
Seriously though, I used to read Brooks he was a calmer analytical voice during the republican nomination. But once he started drinking the Obama kool-aid after work with the rest of the times crew whatever foot or arm he had in the republican hokey-pokey-circle got pulled out. Its not that he isn’t wrong in the way the elite ruling class with hands on the levers of media and government and the proletariat oppose each other. Traditional Americans had the same values long before this new brand of eco-gay-statists-wasps took control a few decades ago. It is they who define themselves by being the opposite of the rest of us.
Which of course brings up interesting questions about why the elite are always historically on the wrong side of every movement. Because the “elite” believe themselves above group-think and also see themselves as too smart to be tricked by propaganda. Ergo if they believe its because its true not because they have been tricked. Where as us lesser working-middle class clods know we are vulnerable to such “mob” behavior and are more hesitant and cynical about being caught up in a movement. The lower and upper class do not suffer these self doubts or cautions.
In short, why are people who live in trailer parks and mansions so similar in their reckless stupidity? Because they feel immune to the costs.
“Plz hulp me Duveed Broox me skareduv teh peoopul wid a dem dimplomas”