I was thinking, why doesn’t the GOP ever advertise itself to the far left. Like maybe they can take out ads on Daily Kos with specially targeted slogans. Well, maybe not “slogans” so much as “taunts” or “threats”. Here’s what I was thinking:
GOP SLOGANS FOR THE LEFT
“We Are Going to Destroy Everything You Love”
“We Will Be Nourished by Your Tears”
“They’re All Going to Laugh at You”
“Think of the worse thing that ever happened in your life. Multiple that by a million. That’s what you have to look forward to after November.”
“Your Pathetic Existence Will Soon Become Completely Intolerable”
“All You Fear Will Come to Pass”
“You Will Never Have Happiness Again”
What would you like for a GOP slogan targeted to the left?
* All your House Seats are belong to us.
* Three Words: One. Term. President.
* After November, Sarah Palin will be more relevant than Pelosi and Reid combined.
* Boo!
FormerHostage set us up the bomb! LOL!
*Look upon our greatness and despair!
*Don’t worry. I’m sure none of what you’re doing now will ever come back to bite YOU!
*This November, as is tradition in Canada, whose socialized medicine you love so much, we’ll be setting you adrift. Because you’re not our friend, buddy.
* 2011 is going to be like a conservative buddy cop movie, starring Dick Cheney as “good cop.”
* Babies. We’re still having them. Enjoy the mid-21st century, hippies!
* Gas prices are up. Time for more WAAARRRR!
* We like Israel more than we like you. Not all of us even like Israel much.
* Obama’s Not Your Fault. You’re Just Sick And We Will Help You
America is a Union Pacific Challenger at 60 MPH and you’re the Yugo stuck on the tracks.
* You believe, like Mao, that power comes from a barrel of a gun? Good, you will understand us clearly!
* Free trips to Cuba, Venezuela or the socialist country of your choice! (in very small print…surrender of passport required upon departure).
“The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee. ”
– ala Samuel L. Jackson in Pulp Fiction.
“I know what you did last election.”
“And you thought VLAD THE IMPALER had anger management issues…”
“The future you dream of will never come to be.”
“You were born to be gay but your Christian neighbors prayed it out of you.”
“There’s still time to move to Canada.”
“Look to your left. Look to your right. In ten years, your two friends will be happy Republicans.”
“Remember, the winners write the history books.”
And I thought I was the only fan of VLAD THE IMPALER, DeckApe. 😉
Hey Democrats! Sit down right here! Take a load off.
After November, democrat seats will be as common as manbeaerpig.
DLTDHYOTWO!
See ya, don’t want to see ya!!
We have got these GREAT one tickeys to Havana.
Nice majority ya got there. Pity if something were to happen to it…
2011: You’ll wish you had lost
Remember when you were teased on the school playground and were too scared, weak and pathetic to fight back, so you just cried like a baby and became a democrat. Prepare to experience that feeling again.
Yes, you did. Time to pay the bill.
“That wasn’t chicken.”
Congratulations on the healthcare bill! In 2014, when it kicks in, Speaker Boehner and President Palin will be happy to make your medical decisions for you.
It will be so bad, children will never be named Nancy, Harry or Barak ever again.
Bend over and relax. The best is yet to come.
We loved your insurance mandate… You’ll love our waterboard mandate!
You will be crushed, driven before us, and we will savor the lamentations of your women.
* 2011: Impeachment FEEEEEEE-VAH!
* The huge losses you will experience this November will be a big F’n deal!
* The only thing lower than your IQs will be Obama’s poll numbers.
* We’re gonna make Chris Mathews cry like a…Little…Tiny…Girl.
* Regardless of what she says…your girlfriend has the hots for us.
* The time for talking is over…so STFU!
* The first thing we’re going to do is to de-fund OCare. The second thing we’re gonna do is move Nancy Pelosi’s office to the basement Men’s Room. The third thing we’re gonna do is move Barney Frank’s office OUT of the basement Men’s Room.
* One ‘M’ dammit!!! ONE EMMMMMMM!
“All Your Base Are Belong To Us”
Guffy…good pun!
“You were right: Bush declared himself Emperor in January 2009 and Obama is just a figurehead.
Not only is Bush tapping your phones, now he has access to your medical records.”
* The tin foil actually FOCUSES the beams!
*Don’t be too proud of this legislative terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy the private health care industry is insignificant next to the power of the Free Market.
*I find your lack of Faith disturbing(as B.O. gasps for air).
“We will use you to grease the wheels of our industrial/economic progress”
“We WILL remember and we won’t forgive”
“And you thought our God was wrathful”
“After November, we will show you how pissed we really are”
Take out ads that say:
“Don’t forget to vote. First Wednesday in November!”
You loved your mandate to buy health insurance;
You’ll love our mandate to buy firearms.
It’ll make the 80’s look compassionate….
Remember that time after Jimmy Carter? How about after Clinton Care? Combine those and multiply by 50 million
All your [moderate] base are belong to us!
Remember, these are supposed to be ads targeting liberal sites:
Hey! Wanna see something shiny?
Time Magazine to the shredders !
NY Times = NY Slimes = to the trenches !
All walking dead leftist goony robotic numbnuts – pay off all that debt you voted for !
Koolaiders Klean my Kickboots !
4of7 has a point, watch the number of syllables.
( Frank J has already warned us about the number of MMMMMMMMMs )
Instead of a childish slogan, I say we take it a step further, we give them the silent treatment. It’s like the opposite of Obama talking so much I want to take a power drill to my temple just to let the boredom out. And it will only aggravate the libs. They’ll be like, “You racists Repugs, how can you repeal free rainbows for handicapped unicorns?” And instead of answering we’ll just ask each other, “Hey, did you hear something?”
Our power is beyond your comprehension!!!
all good super-villians must speak this way
Your mom said she loved you as a kid so you would stop whining like a puppy. Apparently it didn’t work.
Screw November. Palin is already more relevant than Pelosi and Reid combined.
Your father was a hamster and your mother smelt of elderberries.
We will dine on your dead. MMMMM Brains.
* Resistance is futile!
* Join us or die! (politically, of course)
* It’s always darkest before the dawn, but it’s really dark wrapped in a carpet in my trunk (political trunk, of course!)
* Remember how you felt after Obamacare was passed? Good. It will be the last joy you ever have for the remainder of your days on earth. (politically)
* You’re not going to amount to JACK SQUAT!
* I think Palin would look great on the C-note.
“Entitlement–It’s our right. And your necessity.”
“Yes we can drink your milkshake”
Obama’s slogan should be “Not ask what you can do for your Country, Ask what can my Country do for ME.”