Archive of entries posted on 27th April 2010

Frank Missed One

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Feature of the new $100 bill that is.

I was watching the video that explains all the fancy features of the new currency, and there (about 3/4 of the way through) I saw it – the single best line from the Declaration of Independence, clear as day, right over the number:

“That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government”

It’s like every $100 bill has a Tea Party commercial printed on it.

Don’t tell Obama.

lolterizt! Part 106

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This week terrorists, next week That One. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.


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From Stephen:

My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From me (Harvey):

From David:

From Terry_Jim of The Lazy Half S Ranch:

This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with (hat tip Stephen):

PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolterizt! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

HAT TIP: Brian of Snapped Shot‘s magnificent EvilFeed – the world’s best source for ripe-for-captioning terrorist photos.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

Don’t Tread on Me… Or What?

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Rattlesnake are anti-treading.

Seen a lot of the old American slogan of “Don’t tread on me.” The only thing is that it’s kind of an incomplete statement. Why shouldn’t people tread on you? What happens then?

So, basically, the statement needs a second part. Here are some suggestions:

DON’T TREAD ON ME…

…or I’ll set you on fire and throw you off a building.

…or I’ll be like, “Hey! What’s with all the treading?”

…or you’ll make me angry. You won’t like me when I’m angry.

…or it’s a musket to the junk.

…or I’ll pass harsh, anti-treading laws.

…or I’ll draw depictions of Muhammad.

…or I’ll tell Fred Thompson on you.

…or I’ll throw rocks at your house in the middle of the night.

…or I’ll shoot British people in red coats.

…or I’ll talk very loudly and you’ll become irrationally scared I might get violent.

…or I’ll get violent.

…or I’ll support a political opponent to you who is more adverse to treading.

Mexicans Are Going to Boycott Arizona

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Arizona may have thought its new bill on illegal immigration was all fine and dandy, but look at what Mexico just did. They put up a travel advisory for Arizona; now Mexicans may be less likely to come to the state. See, that’s what gets you when passing a new law: The unintended consequences.

Did you even know Mexico had like a whole government and everything that could issue travel advisories and what not? Apparently about half the government’s function is complaining about U.S. border enforcement.

The Last Holdouts on Right to Carry

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Forty states are right to carry, leaving only ten left where those rights are infringed. In those states its either always illegal to carry or a carry permit is only given out in special circumstances and a citizen has to argue why he deserves it. It would be really nice to have all states recognize a right to carry and get a system setup so that any law-abiding American citizen could carry a gun in all fifty states. But with federalism, if some states really don’t want that I guess they can have whatever laws they want.

So here’s an idea to make everyone happy. Congress could pass some new national right to carry helping states recognize each others carry permits, but states could get an opt out if they wanted. The governor of a state could submit a form explaining why his citizens are especially stupid and violent thus making a right to carry a problem there when it isn’t in any other state. A committee could then review those reasons and decide whether to grant a special exemption to the state from allowing right to carry. Sounds fair, right?

Random Thoughts

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Actual line from AZ bill: “Anyone in this state without a long form birth certificate will be deported to Kenya.”

Actual line from AZ bill: “Police can’t ask for your papers without cause with a fake German accent.”

Aww. They took Obama’s National Security Adviser off stage before he could tell us why bagels have holes.

Palestinians? More like “Enemy-estinians”!

I really hate it when people mistake common genius for my super, extra double genius.

I’m really looking forward to an opportunity to use the phrase “moral turpitude” in casual conversation.

Hmm. And I should also try to find out what other kinds of turpitudes are out there other than the moral kind.

Ross Douthat seems like an intellectual and also seems smart.

Why do the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles wear masks? Are they secretly Teenage Mutant Accountant Turtles by day?

“Are these the giant mutant turtles that attacked you?” “I don’t know. They were wearing masks. Plus they all look alike. Is that racist?”