What proceeds is an extremely bad pun, and this is your warning. Once again, I don’t want you complaining to me how awful the pun is, because I warned you. If you’re smart, you’d just walk away now and not go any further. In fact, the pun is so bad, you may never find anything I write funny again, thus ruining IMAO for yourself. Still, I felt compelled to share this pun and may later seek psychological help on this self-destructive behavior.
You’ve been warned.
A Saudi woman beat up one of the Saudi religious policemen. Now, I think that’s some feminism we can all get behind. Women in Saudi Arabia can’t drive or go anywhere without be accompanied by a man, but a beat down produces its own permission. And anyway, while the women there are forced to wear burqas and such, might as well take advantage of how easy it is to conceal weapons in those things.
A lot of people have been calling this a great ad:
Dale Peterson certainly does get to the point and spares no words. I don’t even know what agricultural commissioner is, but it now ties for astronaut as my dream job.
This makes me think of the ad I might run if I one day campaigned for an office. I think I could improve on his ad, though. Here’s what I would do in my campaign ad:
* Ride into the commercial on a Liger.
* Every scene, I’d be stroking a different gun.
* Vow that if elected, our enemies will be eaten by genetically resurrected dinosaurs.
* In the middle of the ad, pause to shoot a hippy dead.
* Not only call the other politicians “thugs and criminals” but also promise to lock them in a room with a bear.
* Draw a picture of Muhammad while talking.
* Look up at the moon and yell, “You’re going down!”
* End with an awesome guitar solo while my farm explodes behind me.
Yeah, I’d be so awesome commissioning agriculture or whatever.
So the Democrat candidate for Senate in Connecticut lied about serving in Vietnam. This should help him. A lot of people were worried that he’d get swift-boated like John Kerry when those he served with spoke out against him, but that’s impossible since he didn’t serve with anyone. Worst he can get is someone saying he mismanaged Toys for Tots.
I don’t know why someone would lie about stuff like that; I would think military service would be easy to verify and you’d always get called on it. Then again, I guess this is assuming Democrats care about that sort of thing. If I thought I could say anything and no one would check, I’d make all sorts of claims if I ran for office. I’d be like, “I was the one who told Al Gore he should invent the internet” and “I was the one who found Saddam in Iraq. I was all like, ‘Look! In the ground! I think it’s Saddam.’ And everyone was like, ‘Hey, it is. Good job, Frank. Good job finding Saddam.'”
You know, maybe we should encourage politicians to make up more stuff so that campaigns are more interesting. Basically, politicians do nothing but lie during their campaigns anyway, so why not encourage more fanciful ones to be more entertaining? Maybe they could even hire like Hollywood script writers to make sure their stories are interesting. Yes, some people would think it’s real, just like with professional wrestling, but most of us already understand that everything we see on screen involving politicians is fake.
So Dick Blumenthal is not a lying coward, he’s an innovator.
And a lying coward.
Hmm… “Holly Diver” could be a good girl’s name.
One of the best ways to support the new Miss USA is not to murder her for indecency.
Do people care if you lie about military service? If not, I’ll run for office claiming I was part of the assault on the 2nd Death Star.
Why not the first? Less people involved in that one, so more likely people would realize I was lying.
I once served Vietnamese food. …No, that was a lie.
