Hey, someone paid for the expensive blog ads space, so I feel I should mention — except it’s the Wall Street Journal so you already know about them. They’re the only newspaper that isn’t hemorrhaging money. They also have on online business model that actually makes money. Anyway, weird how like the only successful paper left is a right-leaning… well, weird in how predictable that is. So check them out, as the ad money they pay helps me not get bored of blogging and abandon it for a new hobby like whittlin’.
Archive of entries posted on 3rd June 2010
Bribing: Where’s My Outrage?
So Obama apparently is making it a regular habit to bribe people with jobs to get them to drop out of races. And what’s the biggest offense here: The illegal bribing or that he does it so unsuccessfully? So far we only have instances of people rejecting the bribe. If you’re going to break the law, at least have some reasonable expectation of success. Now Obama just looks both corrupt and impotent.
And apparently this is all illegal and he could be impeached over it. I was a little surprised by that; it’s hard to tell what’s just the usual scummy political stuff from what’s actually illegal. I’ve never been too keen to impeach Obama because then we end up with Biden, but I think I realize now it would be really really hard to do worse than Obama, plus every so often Biden makes sense.
Still, it seems illegitimate to demand Obama be thrown out over this, because I can’t pretend I’m outraged over Obama incompetently trying to hand out crappy jobs in his administration. To me this is just something I want to make fun of him for, not a source of outrage. It would be like seeking impeachment over him having big funny ears that stick out.
So what do you say? Should we take this very seriously and seek Obama’s head or just continue laughing at him and mocking him?
Nuke It
If dumping mud on it is 'Top Kill', what do you call this?
So I’m going to tell him what to do: Nuke it.
Is there anything more presidential than nuking stuff? It is an option only the federal government has, showing why it’s great idea the Obama administration took things over. And who could criticize him? Not the right — not after he just nuked something. So there is really no downside to this — except perhaps the maybe 12% chance of things going horribly horribly wrong.
So Obama should just give a speech saying, “You have asked me to end the leak, so I will… using PRESIDENTIAL ATOMIC POWERS! No oil is a match for me, Obama, and my nuclear arsenal! And I say to all of America’s enemies, be as bothersome as an oil leak and you are next!” Then Obama should have a big red button next to him to activate the nuke which he should dramatically smash with his fist.
BOOM! Oil leak fixed!
You’d have to admit that would be awesome. I bet he’d get at least an eight point bump in the polls.
So why won’t Obama do it? Because he’s a little sissy girl. Sissy sissy girl. Prances around in a pretty dress.
Uh-oh, Obama! People on a blog are calling you a sissy girl! What are you going to do about it? I know: Nuke stuff!
Fred’s Best Line (A Contest) Part 2 of 3
The Fred’s Best Line contest continues, and the rumors are true: Fred himself will be picking the winners.
Also, if you’re in search of some great Fred Lines, don’t forget to scour the old Lightning Round videos.
Here’s the background & rule-related mumbo-jumbo again for folks who came late to the party or who just have short memories:
So the powers-that-be over at the Fred Thompson Show said “Hey Harvey, go promote Fred’s book, ‘Teaching the Pig to Dance’. Here’s 3 signed copies courtesy of Premiere Collectibles you can use for prizes”.
I said “Cool!”
Here’s how it works:
Contest runs 3 days, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. You put in the comments what you think is Fred’s best line. 3 winners are selected from all submissions posted before Midnight on Friday. Winners announced Monday. Prizes are awarded to said winners (assuming they had the foresight to include a working email with their comment and I can get ahold of them to get a mailing address).
“Fred’s best line” means any quote, from any of Fred’s TV shows, movies, his radio show, YouTube videos, Facebook, Twitter, etc. that you think totally rocks.
Now, IMAO is not some sort of fact-stickler news organization like CNN or MSNBC, so it’s not like anybody’s going to actually check your quote to see if it’s real. So if you just completely make something up that kinda sounds like something Fred would say, like “If these Democrats don’t stop passing these ridiculous spending bills, I’m gonna grab a copy of the Constitution and beat ’em sensible with it,” who am I to question its truthiness?
For those who do not win, and for those voyeurs who just want to sit and watch while everyone else has fun, signed copies of “Teaching the Pig to Dance” are available for purchase at Premiere Collectibles for $25 plus shipping.
I should note that Father’s Day is coming up fast, and – having read this book – I can tell you that any human male who has survived his “stubborn, stupid, invincible teenager stage” and progressed to the “responsible parenthood stage” of his life will find a kindred soul in the pages of this tome and enjoy it immensely.
Book-plugging time over. Make with the quotes in the commments.
Random Thoughts
You can’t watch “It’s a Wonderful Life” these days without thinking how much sense Mr. Potter is making about irresponsible lending.
Today: Wars for oil. Tomorrow: Wars for internet bandwidth.
Watching first season of Babylon 5. The CGI looks like it was done on a Nintendo 64.
I think if Obama nuked the crap out of the oil leak, that would show real leadership.
Nuking stuff has to be worth like an eight point jump in approval ratings. Do it, Obama! Do it!
Despite what TV says, there is only like a 10% chance of waking an unimaginable horror by using nukes underwater.