*Ahem*
Dohtimes, you won a book.
I’ve been emailing.
I think you left your spamfilter set to “kill”.
Send me your mailing address.
harvolson@gmail.com
Thank you.
PS Fred’s new best line is, “According to recent school enrollment figures, Hispanics are fleeing Arizona before the state’s new immigration law takes effect. Shame on those people for racially profiling themselves like that.”
Here, once again, is a horrible pun, and I will warn you not to read it. Like the title says, it is horrible. You won’t find it funny. In fact, it will make you angry. You may in fact hate it so much you’ll never find me funny again. You may never find anything funny again. Humor may be ruined forever, and you will lose faith in all humanity. If you read it, you should probably go on a suicide watch.
So just leave this site now, and if you don’t, I warned you.
Obama says the reason he hasn’t talked to the CEO of BP yet is because it’s the board of directors that’s in charge. That’s a really stupid excuse, and Allahpundit is right in that it seems like he’s not even trying to come up with decent lies lately. Still, good lying is something Obama has vowed to work on, and as evidence of that, here are the top ten excuses he’s come up with for his poor response on the oil spill crisis.
TOP TEN EXCUSES FROM OBAMA FOR HIS POOR RESPONSE TO THE OIL SPILL
10. Thought it wasn’t a problem because oil and water don’t mix.
9. Since it was British Petroleum in the Gulf of Mexico, he assumed other countries would handle it.
8. He thought the oil leak was just looking for attention and would go away if he ignored it.
7. It looked messy, and he had just bought a new suit.
6. Handling oil spills isn’t mentioned in the Constitution, and Obama only does things specifically mentioned in the Constitution.
5. We never listened to Obama’s pleas of “let me be clear”, and thus he was forced to be very unclear about things.
4. Louisiana did such a great job with the last big disaster that hit them that he assumed they were on top of this one.
3. Birds kinda looked like they enjoyed being covered in oil.
2. He never saw the problem, because his head has been stuck in a bucket for the past fifty days.
And the number one excuse from Obama for his poor response to the oil spill…
Continue reading ‘Top Ten Excuses from Obama for His Poor Response to the Oil Spill’ »
In case you were worried the Senate race in California might get too civil, Carly Fiorina was caught on mic making fun of Barbara Boxer’s hair. And Barbara Boxer was all like, “You call it ‘Senator hair’! I earned that! I’m a Senator!”
It’s hard for me to get too excited about any races in California, though, because it’s like they’re fighting over who gets to be in charge of it as it crumbles apart and falls into the sea. The fact that they’ve had an arrogant dimwit like Barbara Boxer as a senator for this long shows they don’t take themselves seriously enough to survive. Really, out of over 30 million people, these are the leaders they come up with?
Since the state is so doomed, there’s no reason to take this race seriously. I think it would be awesome if in the first debate between Fiorina and Boxer, Fiorina uses her opening statement to look at Boxer and say, “Really. You wore that? Gah!”
If you throw liberals in a pit, I think you have to fish them out later, but a lot of my commenters disagree. Guess I’m a moderate.
Good idea from commenter: If we want the US to move up in the Global Peace Index, we just have to annihilate the countries ranked above us.
Isn’t it funny that Hollywood thinks they’re so enlightened but it’s the last place left with blatant racial discrimination in hiring?
