In the Washington Post, someone proposed that Hillary Clinton and Biden should switch jobs.

Hillary as Vice President? I don’t know if that’s a good idea.

As it stands, Hillary as to somehow get rid of the current president, Biden, Pelosi, and Sheets Byrd to become president. I think she knows she can’t have them all befall “accidents” without raising too much suspicion, so that’s fine. But if she were VP, I doubt it would be a day until we heard on the news: “The president was found tied to a chair with his eyeballs cut out — an apparent suicide. Hillary Clinton has been sworn in as the new president and has released this statement, ‘Power. Power! POWER!'”

It might be a nice change of pace to replace Obama’s moronic, impotent idealism with a raw lust for wielding power, but I’d rather just wait for the next Republican.

Obama has apparently said he won’t secure the border until amnesty has been agreed to.  Similarly, he’s threatening to not stop the oil leak until we finish the cleanup.  Basically, everything Obama does is asinine and just makes everything worse for everyone.  Still, they’re always talking about a “Path to Citizenship”, so maybe we can come up with an appropriate one.  To start out in America by disregarding its laws and coming here illegally is a grave crime, and it will take a lot for someone to redeem himself and be able to call himself “citizen”.

THE PATH TO CITIZENSHIP

“The path to citizenship takes one through the frozen slopes of Caradhras, the deep, dark pits of Moria, the orc and goblin infested plains of Mordor, the hippie infested streets of San Francisco, and finally to the heart of evil itself where death lurks in every shadow — Chicago. Finally, at the Gate of Citizenship stand the Jabberwocky — universal symbol of fascism — and it must be bested to proceed. Then any who survive will be granted citizenship and a free miniature American flag.”

So something like that.

So the U.S. played Slovenia in the World Cup Friday — a country not even Google has any idea where it is — and they started out whomping us 0-2. That seemed impossible to come back from because two goals is already pushing the excitement one soccer game can contain, but America did come back. And when they kicked a goal putting them ahead 3-2… the referee took the goal away because of some invisible foul only he could see. So the game was stolen by some anti-American ref.

I know — it’s soccer so who cares. I didn’t even watch the game. But the thing is while I’m okay with America losing a game because our team sucks as we don’t care about that sport, but I can’t stand any game being stolen from us. I don’t care if it was Candyland played on an international level — when we win fair and square, there are huge consequences from trying to take that away.

Right after that game, the President should have gone right on TV and said to the camera, “Referee from the U.S.-Slovenia game, I want you to know you have killed your family. When you get back to your home country, you will see nothing but dinosaurs with rocket launchers on them destroying everything you know. You have done this to yourself; it’s now out of my hands.”

Yep, this is yet another argument to get working on the dinosaurs with rocket launchers program. When people know you have dinosaurs with rocket launchers on them and aren’t afraid to use them, they’re fair to you. Sometimes more than fair.

America shouldn’t be beat by a country that 99% of us can’t even identify what continent it’s on.

So are most goals scored in soccer during the power play? Or am I thinking of a more interesting sport?

Yes, I make fun of soccer and like curling. Curling is the thinking man’s sport. Soccer is the vuvuzela-blowing man’s sport.

So is anyone trying to stop the oil leak still, or have we just given up by now?

If banning vuvuzelas is racist, expect a surge in KKK membership.

“We named our dog ‘Ginger’ because she has no soul.”

Obama says he won’t stop the oil leak until we establish a path to citizenship for the already spilled oil.

If I were an atheist, I’d be a happy, carefree one… but that’s just me.

We’re not taking the energy crisis seriously until we finally decide to kill those blue people and take their unobtainium.