SarahK looks at a list of signs your husband might be gay and appraises me based on it. She concludes I’m straight. Woo!

I don’t want to alarm you, but we’re running out of helium.

Whoa! Calm down people. Let’s think about this rationally.

I always wondered where we got helium from. Since it’s a noble gas, it doesn’t combine with anything and only exists in its pure form. So I guess there are helium deposits underground, and people just dig until someone announces in a high-pitch voice, “We struck helium!” And apparently we have a couple helium deposits and that’s it, as we can’t make more. I mean, the sun is constantly making it, but we’re not really at that level. We just have to wait for other elements to decay into helium, and that’s a lot of waiting.

So, it’s a non-renewable resource and we put it in kids’ balloons. Scientists are saying we should stop doing that, but I don’t know what else we can put in the balloons. Hydrogen seems dangerous. Also, scientists say we should have a recycling program for it. I guess everyone would get like a helium bin (maybe in place of the newspaper bin since that’s kinda outdated), but I’m not sure how’d you’d get it in there and make sure it stays there.

So anyway, enjoy your lighter than air balloon, for it be a fleeting thing. In the dystopic future, a red balloon filled with helium will be worth more than its weight in gold… except it has a negative weight, so I’d guess you’d have to pay other people to take it. Wow, helium is confusing.

So they made a $578 million school in LA. We have this recession and it’s hit California even harder, and those jokers can’t even get their state budget together, so they make a school that costs more than half a billion to teach 4,200 kids (about $138,000 per kid). Was that why dropout rates were so high? A lack of insanely expensive buildings?

I’m starting to think that California politicians aren’t responsible enough to be trusted with any sum of money. This isn’t just wasteful spending, this is a cry for help. What’s a school supposed to be? It’s a bunch of walls to keep wind from blowing the kids papers form their desk and a ceiling to keep them from getting rained. How do you even get to $578 million with that? Does the school transform into a giant robot? Was it built on the moon? The officials responsible are saying that kids will learn better in a more creative environment, but haven’t the people in charge of education in California already demonstrated that they have no idea what it takes to get children to learn?

This is why SarahK and I are going to home school. We’re just opting out of this madness. People with absolutely no sense about them and come up with a school that costs more than half a billion are not people you want having any influence over your kids. Public school has basically gone in one direction for years now: Dumber and more expensive.

Hey, there’s a great 2012 slogan for Obama.

People throw around the label “moderate Muslim” a lot without having much of a solid definition for it. I think some people basically label any Muslim not actively trying to kill people a “moderate”, but it’s okay to have a little higher standards than that.

For instance, we keep being told that the imam behind the Ground Zero mosque is a moderate, but he won’t denounce Hamas and now there is a new tape out of him saying, “The United States has more Muslim blood on its hands than al-Qaeda has on its hands of innocent non-Muslims.” If making excuses for terrorists is moderate, then I don’t want radical or moderate Islam having mosques anywhere in America. The “is definitively against terrorism and murder, no buts about it” Islam is peachy, but not any other kind.

We worked really hard on this country, and we have religious freedom here. We also have freedom of speech and it is our duty to use that when bad things are happening. While any religion is free to come here, that doesn’t mean we can’t have basic standards on those religions such as being unequivocally against murder. Any that aren’t should be chased from polite society. Of course, the left it too busy feeing morally superior and pointlessly lecturing to ask basic questions, but when was the last time we needed them to get anything useful done?