Some people are claiming that aliens are deactivating our nuclear weapons. Isn’t that exactly the sort of thing that makes people hate aliens? That and the chest bursting.

I have no idea what this will mean for nuking the moon. Maybe they like the moon and won’t want us nuking it. And then what’s next? Them deactivating our fists before they can punch hippies?

I don’t like aliens. If aliens ever make contact with us, we should act like their friends but keep sneezing on them the whole time so maybe they’ll all die like in War of the Worlds. So leave Earth alone; we like nuking stuff and we don’t like aliens.

I previously said the key to the upcoming election is the sucking, but I’ve been thinking and believe that condescension should be added to the mix too. Democrats have been very condescending and dismissive of the concerns of most Americans, and I think that will play a factor on top of the epic suckage. Then again, it’s the suckage that makes the condescension so bad. I mean, if someone was really good at something and was condescending to you it wouldn’t be anywhere near as bad as when someone has obviously no idea what he’s doing and is still condescending about it.

Anyway, after the election, there will be a lot of pundits with a lot of theories, but they’re all stupid if the focus on anything other than the sucking and the condescension which is amplified by the sucking.

What do you think will be key to the election?

The interior of America gets redder and the Democrats increasingly are being concentrated on the coasts. Do you know what this means? Maybe eventually we can reach our ultimate goal: Pushing the Democrats into the sea. It will be great, because there is not voting if you are in the sea and you can’t run from political office there so we’ll finally be rid of Democrat influence. They will probably keep yelling stuff at us, though, from the sea like, “Let me out of here!”, “I’m all wet and I blame the rich!”, and “I’m a Democrat; I want free stuff!” which will be annoying. Also, we’ll want to put up signs on all beaches that say, “Caution: Democrats.” And they’ll probably get in the way of commercial fishing. And Aquaman will be really mad at us.

Still, it will make drawing political maps really easy since the sea is already blue.

Here’s a photo of Hillary Clinton from her appearance in Paranormal Activity 2:

Eh, still find Obama to be scarier these days.

Here’s some Science! for you: “Scientists” “predict” that the universe has a 50% chance of ending suddenly sometime in the next 3.7 billion years from some unknown catastrophe. It’s based on physics breaking down if the universe is infinite so time has to end some point… though I have no idea why the time frame — it is science journalism. Still, if an unpredictable calamity is going to destroy the universe, there’s only one thing we can do: Try to predict what it is!

POSSIBLE THINGS THAT MAY DESTROY THE UNIVERSE

* Too many people trying to divide by zero on their calculators.

* Dogs and cats living together.

* Hippies going unpunched.

* The man in black getting off the island.

* People pestering Fred Thompson.

* A truck carrying Mentos colliding with a truck carrying Diet Pepsi.

* The finite variable for storing the universe’s time resets.

* God gets at angry at not enough Korans being burned.

* Marty McFly is unable to reunite his parents.

* It gets eaten by a grue.

This blog post by Stanley Fish in the New York Times blog is really close to having a clue. He argues that liberals are only making the Tea Parties stronger by mocking them and the only possible way to defeat them is to accept them as a legitimate viewpoint and argue with them intellectually. The main problem with that idea is isn’t the point of trying to dismiss the Tea Parties as racist, trying to dismiss them as possibly violent, or just mocking them in general is that deep down the left understands that they are on the losing side of the argument and need to do all they can to avoid the argument. The more people learn about Obamacare, the more unpopular it becomes. And as for the attempts at economic stimulus, all we have is much higher unemployment (with an unverifiable claim of millions of invisible jobs created) and tons more debt. What is the left’s intellectual argument right now? “It sure looks like we’re making things way worse, but just trust us that we’re super-smart and help us make the government bigger, more intrusive, and spend even more money!”

Still, this isn’t to say liberals wouldn’t be doing better if they stopped being dismissive and actually listened to other people’s viewpoints and argued with them as equals. But it’s one of those sine qua non things where if a liberal wasn’t dismissive of other viewpoints, would he cease to be a liberal?

President Obama’s solution to failing schools: Longer school year. That’s like saying there’s not a lot of nutritional value in a Twinkie, so we have to eat a lot more of them. And just ask Michelle Obama what she thinks about eating more Twinkies: She’ll say it makes you worse than Hitler.

Having the government decide what your kids are supposed to learn in a free country has always been a square peg shoved in a round hole, but the problem is less the indoctrination than the sheer incompetence. Educating your kids is very important, so it’s the exact sort of thing you don’t want bureaucrats anywhere near. But each year education just gets more and more run by the career idiots who make up our government, and the best they’ve done now is make all school more equitable in that they’re all becoming miserable.

The thing is, the big education problem is that we have so many kids without parental support, and a better school breakfast program isn’t even going to make a dent in that. I don’t know how that happened, but the rise in the breakdown of the family did interestingly seem to correspond with big new government programs implemented in the sixties. Maybe the solution is less big government programs, but you sure aren’t going to hear the suggestion from Obama.

Liberals are always trying to tie crime to gun laws — and failing since the highest crime ends up in cities with the strictest gun laws — but have they ever checked violent crime versus voting Democrat? Now, I haven’t had time for a full study, but I bet there is a really strong correlation between violent crime and voting for Democrats. I don’t know how to get the data to prove it, though, but here is a list of U.S. cities with the most violent crime and here’s a list of the top 25 most liberal and conservative cities. I notice a lot of the liberal cities rank high on the list of cities with violent crime while few conservative cities are on the list and if they are there are quite low on it (can you think of any city that has a lot of crime and is Republican leaning?). Proving the rule, think of how bad crime was in New York City back when it last had Democrats as mayor and how crime hugely fell after electing a Republican.

Anyway, we need further data, but I think the result will be that on ballots there should be a warning next to any Democrat saying “Voting for this person may cause violent death.”

So Biden told the Democrat base to “stop whining”. Isn’t that like telling a football team to stop passing? I mean, that’s like half their play book. Whine about tea parties, whine about Glenn Beck, whine about Palin, whine about how Obama needs to be more liberal… without whining, about all they have left is impotent rage, and that’s even worse. And what’s Biden going to tell the base next? Stop having disdain for the average American? Don’t freak out if people feel passionately about different viewpoints than your own? Soon all the Democrat base will have nothing left but to sit quietly in their basements — which would actually be a huge help to the electability of Democrat politicians but is probably an unrealistic expectation.

The problem the Democrats have had is that while they want their base to vote and donate money, those people hugely creep out Americans at large. If more Americans actually checked out the Daily Kos and realized this is who Democrat politicians suck up to, they’d be completely done with them. So Democrats need to keep the base happy while completely ignoring them and doing their best to make sure no one hears what they say. Here’s an idea: Democrats can just take the policy ideas of their base and implement them in 2nd Life and then try to convince their base that’s the real world. They’ve believed much dumber things.