Somehow a gorilla (scientific name Gorilla gorilla, subspecies gorilla) got his hands on a Nintendo DS:
"My brain age is 80?!"
They say a kid dropped it in there, and I just hope that’s true. What’s the other possibility? That he ordered it through Amazon?
We need to take more measure to make sure technology doesn’t fall into the hands of monkeys — call it the Heston Law or something. We all have to remain vigilant if we want to prevent a planet of the apes.
With all this saving stupid animals from extinction that no one cares about, it’s nice that we’re finally manning up and talking about making one go extinct: the mosquito. They’re a pest, no likes them, they don’t help anyone with anything. Let’s just get rid of them. It just seems like a great idea if we can pull it off.
Next thing to make extinct: squirrels. They annoy me, and I don’t think we need them for anything either. After that, the elephant seal. I don’t know why, but it just rubs me the wrong way for some reason.
So if they start taking votes on what animals to make extinct, what do you want to be rid of? You can’t all say, “Hippies.”
So Lisa Murkalucky… Murkooney… Moocowski — something like that — is going to do a write in campaign in Alaska. In the Republican primary, everyone was like, “Go away!” because she was a useless, entitled Senator who was handed the seat by her daddy and it was pretty obvious they could do a lot better, but she’s convinced there’s a large group of people out there who love entitlement and nepotism and know how to spell her name and would just miss her weird weasel face too much. I do not think these people exist. It’s hard to imagine anyone supporting her who isn’t either a blood relative or gets a paycheck from her. Then again, Charlie Crist who has no more principles than that he likes to be elected is getting 30% in some polls. That’s not nearly enough to win, but it’s like who are these people who would vote for this orange sociopath? The media really needs to track down these people and have them explain themselves about why they would vote for the absolute worst example of a politician — everything everyone hates about politicians on full display. Those people scare me, and it’s hard to think they walk among us.
So maybe Lisa Morkuckle will get a few votes, but I hope the people who vote for her feel so much shame they eventually leave society to become monks. Maybe the Buddhist ones that do kung fu.
It seems like with each Senate seat Republicans stumble in, another opens up as an opportunity.
The point of CAIR is to convince Americans that all Muslims are either terrorists or whiny apologists for them.
Here’s my review of The Event: “I’ll tell you what the event is: ITS SUCKING!”
I didn’t actually watch The Event.
Lady Gaga’s actual name is Ladersen Gagowski.
Anyone ever propose a bill to blot out Jimmy Carter’s name from the history books?
“Can’t have your cake and eat it too” never made sense to me until I heard someone reverse it. “Can’t eat your cake and have it too” makes the meaning a bit more obvious.
I think a good rule to tell my Dad is that if you’ve only heard of it through an e-mail forward, it’s not true.
I apparently now have MSNBC in HD on my cable. Yay. Now I’ll be able to see each individual fleck of spittle during Keith Olbermann’s rants.
The current fake issue of the day is… Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT).
Yes, it’s a fake issue.
If it was a real issue, the Democrats would have approached yesterday’s vote in another manner. More on how the Democrats could repeal DADT in a moment. For now, we should all be honest and recognize that throwing issues like this into appropriations bills are intended to make political capital, nothing more.
Yesterday, 40 Republican Senators joined Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) and two other Democrat Senators in voting against DATA attachments to a defense authorizations bill. Who says the GOP won’t work with the Senate leadership?
What does the vote mean for Republicans? Nothing. Not a single Republican lost a November vote and not a single Democrat picked up a November vote.
Now, if the Senate wants to take on DADT, then the Senate should take on DADT, not back door it. So to speak.
But should the Senate address DADT?
The solution seems simple to me: if the Commander-in-Chief directs military personnel to ignore the current restrictions and to drop all DADT prosecutions. And he can promise (and — this is key — deliver) pardons to anyone who is prosecuted in defiance of his orders. At least, that’s what I would do. And it would work.
Why won’t Obama do it?
He has nothing to gain by doing it.
If he did, the whole issue would go away. No Republican president would revoke the decision after January 20, 2013. DADT would effectively be dead. And, eventually, DADT would come off the books.
But, like I said, Obama won’t do it. Because it would take away a cudgel the Democrats use against Republicans.
Obama and the Democrats don’t want to win the issue. They had large enough majorities to make it happen for a year and a half.
So, what do they want? They want to argue the issue.
Because if they have something to point at and say “Look how unfair this is!” then they have a distraction from the real issues. Like the socialist policies they believe in, and how they are damaging this country.
And that’s damage that no army — no matter how many heterosexuals or homosexuals make up that army — can defend against.
