Archive of entries posted on 30th September 2010

The Desert, a parable

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You’re in the desert.

It’s hot, the sun’s glare on the sand is blinding. When the wind whips up, the sand stings.

You’re in the desert.

You weren’t always in the desert. And you want to find your way out. But for the moment, you’ve accepted that you’re in the desert.

You were thirsty earlier. You still are, but now, you’re also hungry.

Up ahead, you see a figure in the distance. You blink, wipe the sand from your eyes to make sure you are seeing something, and not experiencing a mirage.

It’s real.

You pick up the pace and head towards the figure.

Now, you see that it’s not one figure, but two.

You’re nearer now, clearly making out the two figures. Each is sitting at a table, with an assortment of items in front.

As you approach, each person smiles and rises, beckoning you closer.

You walk up, and with a parched voice, say the only two words you can manage to utter: “Water. Food.”

The person on the right nods, and offers you two items from his table: dry white toast, and a cup of water.

The person on the left offers you a rock.

You look back at the dry white toast and cup of water, then at the rock.

You make your decision, drinking half the cup of water immediately, then devouring the toast, washing it down with the rest of the water.

“I’ve got more of the same,” the person on the right says.

“I got rocks,” the person on the left says.

You continue your trek through the desert, accompanied now by the person on the right with more dry white toast and water, and the person on the left with rocks.

As your thirst and hunger return, you accept the dry white toast and drink the water, ignoring the rocks.

But you keep looking. Somewhere, you know you’ll find someone with better food … and a map out of the desert.

And that is why I will vote for a Republican that I really don’t want. That Republican is still a huckuva lot better than the Democrat, but not what I’m looking for. And, yes, I will keep looking.

Aliens Are Messing Up Our Nuclear Fun?

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Some people are claiming that aliens are deactivating our nuclear weapons. Isn’t that exactly the sort of thing that makes people hate aliens? That and the chest bursting.

I have no idea what this will mean for nuking the moon. Maybe they like the moon and won’t want us nuking it. And then what’s next? Them deactivating our fists before they can punch hippies?

I don’t like aliens. If aliens ever make contact with us, we should act like their friends but keep sneezing on them the whole time so maybe they’ll all die like in War of the Worlds. So leave Earth alone; we like nuking stuff and we don’t like aliens.

The Other Key to This Election

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I previously said the key to the upcoming election is the sucking, but I’ve been thinking and believe that condescension should be added to the mix too. Democrats have been very condescending and dismissive of the concerns of most Americans, and I think that will play a factor on top of the epic suckage. Then again, it’s the suckage that makes the condescension so bad. I mean, if someone was really good at something and was condescending to you it wouldn’t be anywhere near as bad as when someone has obviously no idea what he’s doing and is still condescending about it.

Anyway, after the election, there will be a lot of pundits with a lot of theories, but they’re all stupid if the focus on anything other than the sucking and the condescension which is amplified by the sucking.

What do you think will be key to the election?

Our Plan Is Working!

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The interior of America gets redder and the Democrats increasingly are being concentrated on the coasts. Do you know what this means? Maybe eventually we can reach our ultimate goal: Pushing the Democrats into the sea. It will be great, because there is not voting if you are in the sea and you can’t run from political office there so we’ll finally be rid of Democrat influence. They will probably keep yelling stuff at us, though, from the sea like, “Let me out of here!”, “I’m all wet and I blame the rich!”, and “I’m a Democrat; I want free stuff!” which will be annoying. Also, we’ll want to put up signs on all beaches that say, “Caution: Democrats.” And they’ll probably get in the way of commercial fishing. And Aquaman will be really mad at us.

Still, it will make drawing political maps really easy since the sea is already blue.

Random Thoughts

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Alan Grayson is a like a political suicide bomber. Does he not care or is he really so deluded as to think his strategy is effective?

I enjoy informing people when I am required to break them.

The left complain a lot about how Palin resigned as governor, but if Obama resigned he’d be my favorite Democrat ever.

Love the subtle reference to Arrested Development in Running Wilde. Funny show on its own right, too.

So now he’ll tell Obama to go to Heck?

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Paul LePage is the Republican candidate for governor of Maine. And, he’s been leading in the polls. Most of them, anyway.

He made the news this week by saying he’d tell Barack Obama to “go to hell.”

LePage said, “As your governor, you’re going to be seeing a lot of me on the front page, saying ‘Governor LePage tells Obama to go to hell.'”

But, apparently, that’s a problem. Telling a socialist who is doing everything he can (whether through malevolence or incompetence) to damage the United States, I mean.

I suppose that, ignoring the person in the office and considering the office itself, then, yes, it’s very disrespectful to say that about the president.

But, it certainly would be hard for me to decide who is most disrespectful the office of president:

  • LePage, who would tell the president to “go to hell”
  • Obama, who is the most unqualified, and has now passed Jimmy Carter as the most incompetent, person to hold the office
  • The people that actually voted to elect Barack Obama

I’m torn between the last two. LePage, I suspect, was directing his comments to the person, not the office.

But, LePage screwed up. Not by saying he’d tell Obama to go to hell. I’d do that.

No, LePage has apologized for saying he’d say that.

He told The Associated Press that he regretted the words he chose Sunday but wasn’t backing down from his criticism of the administration for what he described as free-spending, antibusiness policies.

I suppose he’s saying he should have told Obama to go to Heck?

And that’s a little disappointing to me. Because he’s backing down.

If he didn’t mean what he said, then, yes, he should apologize. But, I think he meant it. And he should man up and say “Yes, I meant exactly what I said. Anyone, even the president, that pushes such dangerous and destructive policies, can go to hell.”

But, no, he didn’t say that. He regretted his choice of words.

Which means he can be pushed around. He wouldn’t fall in line with the Democrats like Libby Mitchell, the Democrat nominee for governor. She’s the worse choice of the two.

But, while LePage is the better of the two, he’s not what he could be. And that makes me mad as heck.