Well, well, well! It seems the Republicans in the Senate just may have grown a pair by promising to stand united and filibuster the Dems’ Hurry-Up Offense flurry of Progressive wish-list legislation in advance of their turning over the keys to the House in January. At least until the looming massive tax-increases on absolutely everyone who pays taxes are stopped and the government is kept funded until the next Congress can pass an actual budget (something the Dems thought was trivial and not worth their time and effort despite it being one of the few responsibilities of the Congress enumerated in the Constitution! — See Article 1, Section 9, the part about “No money shall be drawn from the Treasury, but in Consequence of Appropriations made by Law.”)
After all, the voters decided to evict Nancy and the Donks from the Big Chair for just such abuses of power as, well, rushing through unpopular and possibly unconstitutional legislation that does nothing but screw up the economy and destroy the fabric of the country in order to serve their special interest groups and nutroot kooks…oh, and of course, The Dark Lord Soros instead of concentrating on what’s best for the country, like jobs and the economy and people’s ability to do trivial crap like feed their kids and pay their mortgages. So, naturally, the Democrats schedule a last-gasp effort to do the former again at the expense of the latter. Go figure!
So, what could be so important that the Democrats need to hurry up and pass it with their collective dying breath before bothering with a budget and saving the populace from the untold economic misery from a massive tax increase even most of them agree we can’t afford in the midst of one of the worst recessions in history?
New powers for the Food Police that will cause food prices to skyrocket; Gays serving openly in the military; Free goodies for illegal aliens…the really, really important stuff the whole country can’t wait to see passed!
So, since they seem intent on making asses of themselves, let’s help the Democrats out here by helping them fill in some more important agenda items that need to be addressed before the Republicans can block it in the House and they need to concentrate on all that mundane, necessary stuff like budgets.
- In the wake of repealing Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, immediately pass a bill establishing an all-transvestite & transsexual combat squad…the T&A Team! (Or maybe they’d prefer the Pink Berets?)
- A resolution declaring the prime-time lineup at MSNBC a National Treasure and Keith Olbermann’s bathtub & Chris Matthews’ leg National Historical Monuments, making each of them eligible for millions in federal grants.
- A bill linking the new TSA x-ray and grope procedures at the nation’s airports with ObamaCare, saving billions in costs annually by counting them as medical check-ups! (“Now, turn your head and cough.”)
- A new law banning the use of those nasty old fossil fuels in favor of such new “green” technology as…well, we’ll leave that part for later. Let’s just ban the fossil fuels for now! Think of the polar bears we’ll save!
- A bill declaring each September 11th from now on as “National Hug an Imam Day” in the interest of promoting peace and multicultural understanding.
- An appropriations bill for trillions of dollars in new stimulus spending on such job-creating projects as studying the effects of fish farts on ocean currents and creating public murals depicting President Obama, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid hugging children and snuggling with puppies.
- New banking loan regulations giving preferential treatment to the chronically unemployed so they can borrow their way out of debt! What could go wrong?
Now it’s your turn! What else can the Democrats do in the lame-duck session before the clock runs out on the Progressive Candyland Grab-a-Thon? Have at it in the comments!
Pass a law requiring NASA to begin a program to carve the likeness of teh One on the surface of the moon, so that we all may bask in his radiant glory.
Pass a law mandating each airline passenger pay a $50.00 handling fee for being “handled”.
Pass a moratorium suspending reality.
Grant all incumbent Democrats primea nocte over all new congressional pages
Make it illegal for the unemplyment rise or the economy to drop again.
That’s Pink Pistols not Pink Berets. I learned that in the Heller decision.
September 11th from now on as “National Hug a Suicide Bomber Day” That is just for Democrats, all others (those with jobs) will have to go to work.
The New Green technology will be Solar panels on the out side of Airplanes.
And a Special day for “We love Nazi Plot-si day” they want to name a freeway after her, preferably the one she gets run over on.
Well, first off, personal liberties need to be taken away immediately as it’s unsafe to have a free thinkiing society, so some legislation creating the police state is urgently needed.
If it just saves one life, wouldn’t it be worth it?
A resolution condemning Rush Limbaugh for existing.
A Sarah Palin tax.
A tax on tea.
A tax on income taxes.
A resolution condemning American citizens for being born in the U.S.
A bailout for for former members of congress who were defeated in 2010 and will now have to rely on 100% salasry for retirement.
Solar powered airforce one… just saying put balls where your putting our money.
Import flies from poor African counties to swarm around our fat kids so Moochelle can garner sympathy for their plight.
Institute Don’t Shoot, Don’t Tell Your Captors How Hunky They Look.
They’re going to try to get rid of the most American institution I know of: the United States Marine Corps.
Naw, just kidding. The Democrats, like all mortals, are haunted by the ghosts of Generals Puller and Vandegrift.
Dohtimes:
For the record, I literally lol’d upon reading your first suggestion. Even though I knew where it was going as soon as I saw “Import flies” and “African countries.”
All women who participate will be summarily stoned under the new National Sharia Law Recognition Act.
They can all run toward the Potomac like the lemmings they are. Clear out the Congress for good and all.
I agree with #9. D.C. is a swamp – but instead of draining it, let’s turn it into Lake Potomac and move the Capital to Wichita where seanmahair will preside over it. 🙂
I don’t know Jimmy, seanmahair may not have the desire or patience needed to babysit that zoo. I know my first reaction, after about a week, would involve C4 and ballbearings.
Oh, but RAML, as mayor of Wichita, she’ll be able to kick some major butt.
Nancy Pelosi’s lame duck strategy is pretty simple. In fact it’s the same as before, only more urgent:
1) Destroy the US
2) ????
3) Profit!
1) Fairness Doctors
2) Earth Protectorate
3) Indoor campfire lighting without the burning part
4) Draw straws on who should run the US, Castro, Chavez or Ahmedinawhatever.
5) Institute national blame the Jooooos Day (that’s Yiddish for everyday)
6) Proclaim Pink to be our new national color but with an added O.
7) Launch Nuclear weapons at Israel…..in the name of peace.
8) Declare Capitalism dead.
9) Declare themselves the slayers of Capitalism.
10) Well they wouldn’t make it to ten because real Americans will rise up and bring this nightmare to a final end.
Come on Mr. and Mrs. Middle Class Taxpayer, what’s all the fuss about? As American middle class taxpayers aren’t you used to getting ripped off and screwed over by now? After all it’s not like it’s the first time you’ve gotten shafted by the Democrats and you can bet your ass it won’t be the last. Let’s face it…you’re the most ripped off taxpayers on the face of the earth…and have been for the last several decades. You didn’t think, just because we’re lame ducks, that situation would change did you? So just do like you’ve always done (that which we Democrats have come to fully expect) shut your mouth, quiet your complaints, and just bend over a little bit further, spread those cheeks a little wider, and ask for more! And don’t worry, you can rest assured…you’ll get more, at least until January when we’ll reluctantly turn over our power to screw to those other guys! Rest assured…they’ll never do you as well as we can. Remember, to us Democrats, especially the ones who want you to pick up the tab for all of our do-gooder, pie in the sky plans and schemes, you’re nothing more than a walking dollar sign who still has a pocket or two that hasn’t yet been (but still need’s to be) picked clean. So Mr. and Mrs. Middle Class American Taxpayer the next time you see one of those commercials on your TV that asks the question, “What’s in your wallet?” You can proudly exclaim, “Not a f**king thing……..I’m a Middle Class American taxpayer!”
The cool smiley face was not intentional. As it turns out an eight 8 with an end parenthesis ) is also an emoticon.
Which really makes me hate his emoticon smugness right now.
Tax every word that Sarah Palin says.
Tax every word that Rush Limbaugh says (until his house is engulfed by the rising seas)
Everyone required to carry a rug and place it on the floor facing Mecca and praying to Allah 5 times per day!
During news time, All TV’s are automatically tuned to CBS or MSNBC. No other options shall exist!
Take all of our national secrets and dump them onto the internet…oh…wait…
Sensitivity training for all Marines and Navy Seals on the fine art of the Buggary as practiced by their “don’t ask, don’t tell fellows in combat”…
Lock down Congress now so that the new members can never take their seats and Nancy Pelosi will hide the Gavel up Barney Frank’s keister where no Republican would dare go…
I was going to say ban the light bulb and change the recipe for bacon, but they have already done those.
New laws the current sitting crop of liberals want to pass in the Lame Duck Sesion:
* Order a donut to drop in their little liberal mouths whenver they look upward.
* A unicorn in every house. A skittle pooping unicorn.
* That everyone recognizes Nancy Pelosi’s beauty.
*Ban all weapons, replace with glittery magic wands.
* A proclimation that the 2010 elections never happenned.
Marco, over at Democrat Underground there was actually a call to disband the Marines because the Jarheads are resisting fanny bandits in the Corps.
change our currency from dollars to pounds so we can put Michelle Obama’s butt on the 200 pound bill.
change the phrase “how many angels can dance on the head of a pin” to “how many angels can dance on a pinhead” and then we can give National Science Foundation grants to people like Chris Matthews and Keith Olbermann.
A new tax on intelligence. Democrat voters are all for it.
Wthere should be a post on what “necessary” legislation should passed by deluge next year.
First off, appropriate money for the most cOnservative schools in the country to begin the “Optimus Prime Project.”
Second, nuke the moon, because it is there.
Third, any civil servant who can’t prove citizenship gets a first row of the moon nuking
That should say repubs not deluge
Jimmy and RAML,
No I wouldn’t want to babysit those yahoo’s. After 30+years raising children I’m so ready for the grandmama thing. That said if I were mayor and the fed was here in Wichita I’d:
not let lobbyists within 100 miles of the place
insist that each person spend at least 1 hour every day in intelligent, coherent thought
insist that each and every member of the House and Congress carry with them and be able to produce at a moments notice the Constitution
demand that they pay for, from their average salary, junkets, family travel, and other expenses. I would also insist that the legislature sit for only long enough to get business done. They would then be expected to go back home and work like the rest of us do.
investigate and throw out those who use patronage, nepotism and who abuse the power of their offices
and everyone would have to show a “birth certificate” in order to work there, even the janitors. Not a birth “report” but a real live, certified certificate
That’s just what I’d do to those in congress, I don’t even want to think about federal employees and labor unions. Makes me sick to my stomach.
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