You think Olbermann avoids hostile crowds, but he showed up at CPAC:

(Psst — it’s secretly Steven Crowder)

Once you throw out the craziest results from the CPAC poll, it’s starting to look like Mitt Romney might be the current favorite for 2012.

Eh.

He’s just so politiciany. You can’t trust anything he says, but basically you’d vote for him because you think maybe he’s a particularly skilled politician. And he’s run businesses, which is a plus now. He was my back up choice in 2008 and he’s that again — if there’s absolutely no one interesting who would get the slightest excitement from me, then I guess we’ll go with Romney.

So, just in case, I started working on some presidential slogans for him because that is what I do.

ROMNEY PRESIDENTIAL SLOGANS

Romney 2012: I feel no particular animus towards him.

Maybe Hugh Hewitt can be enthused enough for all of us.

The back up college of presidential candidates.

A younger Bob Dole for president.

Romney 2012: Because no one else seemed particularly interesting.

He’s not just another cookie cutter WASP — this one’s Mormon!

At least he’s not Huckabee.

I guess he looks like a president.

You don’t have to be excited; you just have to vote for him.

His positions as he currently states them align with mine.

Whatever.

So they had the straw poll at CPAC to find who would be the conservative choice for president, and the winner was…

RON PAUL!

Have you heard of this guy? Apparently he’s a great conservative and there is a grassroots movement behind him. His crazed supporters who repulse anyone they talk to have gamed polls before because they don’t have anything else in their lives, but maybe this time it’s a for real thing and there is actual support for Ron Paul and not just among people who think the Jews are responsible for 9/11.

Seriously, though, how do we convince these guys to give it up? Can we convince them to be Democrats and get them to pester those people instead? I just don’t want to deal with the density of Ron Paul supporters another election year. We have to somehow make it clear to them that everyone hates them and no one is going to vote for Ron Paul. In fact, here are things I would rather vote for than Ron Paul:

THINGS I WOULD RATHER VOTE FOR THAN RON PAUL

* Root canals for everybody
* A new Star Wars trilogy centered on Jar Jar Binks
* Obamacare
* The Black Eyed Peas
* Cancer
* Windows ME
* Clamshell packaging
* Sweet sweet death
* Mike Huckabee