Here’s a pretty informative summary of our warfare in the Middle East over the past decade. It points out a number of mistakes and makes things look pretty grim at times, yet it strikes a number of optimistic notes too. It’s kind of hard to believe, but maybe it isn’t the fate of the Middle East to constantly be the most awful place imaginable. Maybe.

(hat tip Mike Z. Williamson)

Some people are raising money to put up a Robocop statue in Detroit. This is awesome idea. Some people are against it, but I don’t know why. What exactly does Detroit have going for it right now? It’s city motto is, “Get out while you still can!” And the sign at the city limit says, “Now leaving Detroit. Don’t look back or you’ll turn into a pillar of salt.” Right now it’s an awful hellhole of a city, but with a Robocop statue it would be an awful hellhole of a city plus an awesome Robocop statue. And maybe the statue could be robotic and automatically point its gun at anyone who comes near while yelling, “Freeze, dirtbag!”

So how are we on designing actual robot cops? Robots have mastered vacuuming, but I don’t know if they’re up to police work yet. Still, robot cops would sure make the show Cops more interesting (is that still on the air?). And as Batman observed, criminals are a cowardly, superstitious lot, so maybe our robot cops should also be bats. And so they don’t have to keep coming back to the police station to charge, maybe they can power themselves by eating human faces. Little robot bats that eat human faces — now there’s the way to a crime-free futuristic utopia.

So is big fat Chris Christie our best bet for 2012? With Obama being a spineless, useless tool on the deficit, it might be time to finally run on that issue, and it’s been shown that Chris Christie already knows how to get results. We need someone who is going to make those drastic cuts and not care when people yell at him, and that’s Christie. Only problem is when people ask him to run for president, he always responds, “Can’t campaign now; busy eating.”

Maybe we can cook like six pounds of bacon. Chris Christie will see it and be like, “BACON!!!” But then we’ll say, “Sorry, this bacon is only for people running for president.” Then he’ll be like, “I’ll run for president; NOW GIVE ME BACON!!!”

Otherwise, we need to find someone else to do like a suicide mission to make drastic cuts to government, and I don’t know who else is up for that. Romney is too much of a politician wanting to be liked by everybody to do something like that. Huckabee probably doesn’t even know what a deficit is. And it doesn’t matter what Sarah Palin will do since she can’t get elected since everyone hates her (What’s up with her? I hate her!).

With Obama’s own budget proposing 7.2 trillion in new debt, we really need someone who is going to take Obama and rub his nose in it and say, “Look what you did! Look what you did!” Chris Christie can do that. If the GOP just gets another person who is going to punt the issue down the road, then it gets rather pointless since we’re just helping the country hobble along a bit further until it collapses. I’m not saying the nominee has to be Chris Christie, but he should be the model for our nominee. So which Republican candidate is willing to put on 500 more pounds? Other than Huckabee, of course.