I was thinking: Maybe IMAO should hire a polling firm. That would allow us to finally poll the issues that need polling and drive the news. It worked a lot for Kos, though things didn’t end well with with his first polling firm (I heard Kos bit them).
Not sure how we get a good polling firm, but I’m just going to go ahead and start working on some question I think it would be neat to poll:
IMAO POLLING QUESTIONS
* If you had to spend tax money on one of these items, which would you rather it be: Obamacare or giant robots?
* Obama is kind of an idiot, huh? Yes/No
* Which is more important to winning the future: High speed rail or space lasers?
* What should happen to someone who has punched a hippie: Fined $50, nothing, or paid $50?
* What you rather a trillion dollars be spent on: What Obama calls stimulus or a giant new space program to send all the politicians spending our money to the sun?
How much do you agree with each of the follow statements? Rank as extremely agree, very agree, or I hate America:
– Our children’s kung fu is weak.
– We need to nuke the moon.
– It is important for scientists to resurrect dinosaurs and put rocket launchers on them.
– A real solution to illegal immigration would involve something called a Mexi-cannon.
– Clam shell packaging should be illegal and the perpetrators of it hunted down.
– Monkeys are plotting to kill us all.
The obvious answer would be nothing. You shouldn’t require payment to perform your civic duty.
If Thomas Edison polled consumers about lighting he would have invented brighter candle.
Crap, I read the title and went out and bought a gondola.
I guess I should have read the read the post first.
Well I dunno about Buttercup, by MY kiddos kung fu is getting pretty damn good, thank you very much!
Hopefully the poll will have an option for “All Of The Above”.
My grandson’s kung fu is really strong. At 10 months he already drop kicked a bottle of formula he didn’t like and grabbed my daughter-in-law and law and warned her the next time she gives him that dreck he’ll drop kick her. Oh, and he can’t wait to have a giant robot for his very own.
While I love the idea of a Mexi-Cannon, the real solution to immigration is more jobs in Mexico. Egypt apparently also needs more jobs. What else to Mexico and Egypt have in common? Pyramids! What are huge sources of income for Mexico and Egypt? Tourism! What do tourists want to see? Pyramids! Clearly, Egypt and Mexico need to get back to what they do best and build more pyramids.
1) Neither.
2) Yes, but so you are for having to ask.
3) Neither. Iowa battleships are the correct answers. Stop being such a Star Wars nerd, Frank.
4) Nothing. Punching a hippy is a common courtesy, a gesture to all the MOH recipients, and something as simple as breathing.
5) The latter.
– Very Agree
– Extremely agree
– Extremely agree
– Extremely agree
– Very agree
– Extremely agree
I think you have monkeys confused with Muslims.
Why bother with the expence of polling? We know best. Just throw out some made up numbers and say what ever you want. There are lies, Damn lies and then there are statstics.
Scary Evil Monkey sez ur SPECIESIST!
I got really confused with the ‘hippie punching’ question. I do not believe in a fine per se, however, I do see a great money raising opportunity. At the picnics this summer, I would think that the “hippie punching booth” would easily out-draw the “kissing booth” and the “dunk tank”. I, for one, would gladly pay $5 to punch a hippie.
I dunno, Frank…
I usually agree with you but I think you’re really overlooking the strategic value of clamshell packaging. Cheaper to make than bombs and every bit as effective at rendering enemies harmless.
Just think about it – you go to a country you don’t like and give them a truckloads of whatever they want – weapons, food, money…it doesn’t matter in clamshell packaging, and while they’re all excitedly trying to get to their shiny new prize, we send in our ninjas and dinosaurs with rocket launchers. They wouldn’t even know what hit them.
* Obama is kind of an idiot, huh? Yes/Yes
I had to fix that question.
The only way I can see us getting politicians on a spaceship to the Sun is if tell them we will only send them at night.
I would like to apply as the official pollster for IMAO. My qualifications? I’m not a homosexual, my head is not up my ass, I have plenty-o-junk for the ladies which always helps with polling, I don’t poll hippies or dill-weeds, I don’t include stupid answers in my polls so all left wing answers will not be included, I only charge $1,000,000.00 per poll!!!
When would you like me to start?
Regards!
ussjimmycarter
i work for a polling firm, and this poll makes more sense than 85 percent of the ones we do already.
The trick is putting solar panels on the laser-equipped dinosaurs. Then barry will build ’em in a helluva hurry. Probably even mandate that each American buy one.
Frank, I can meat all of ussjimmycarter’s qualifications, with a few key differences. I will never let answers to questions get in the way of desired results, and I will charge only $999,000 dollars a pole. You will save enough to buy the next i-pad when it comes out, with enough left over for a shiny new video game.
Oh dear. I appear to be skewing the poll results towards liberalism. Drastically even.
— taxes: prefer neither but given those choices, Giant Robots.
— idiotobama: YES!!
— WTF? High Speed Rail (unless we can get Israelis to do our TSA work; basic transportation is more important than space lasers and the TSA is making that impossible.)
— hippie punch: It’s an amusing term, but $50 fine. Most hippies are at least 5% person underneath, and thus it’s wrong. (Besides, do you REALLY want to get all that patchouli oil all over your hands?!)
— $1T expenditure: if NASA can’t do it for less, then yes, spend the $1T to send the clowns in Washington into orbit. Be sure to include Helicopter Bernanke.
— Kung Fu: strongly agree. Children today need more toughening up, and video games ain’t gonna cut it.
— nuke the moon: strongly agree.
— rocket dinos: moderately disagree.
— Mexi-canon: it’s better than our current solution, but moderately disagree. Sadly, given that so much of our country is so lazy, we need these industrious Mexicans to do the work we can’t be bothered with.
— Clamshells: strongly agree, see previous comment about their usefulness as a lethal weapon
— Monkeys: neutral. My opinion is that monkeys are only plotting to kill most of us, enslaving the rest.
* What should happen to someone who has punched a hippie: Fined $50, nothing, or paid $50?
nothing. should not be paid for having fun
And if you’re still polling firm after 4 hours, seek medical assistance.
HEYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Frank, are you polling us as to whether we would like to be polled? Is this part of your move to make IMAO more saleable? Can we expect IMAO to swing with the vagaries of the latest poll? Will new polls point to a desire for Nuke the Moon T-shirts? Will poll respondents prefer to arm dinosaurs with space lasers, rail guns or 16″ canons?
HA! Now I’m polling you. (see how I did that?)
Send Us More Giant Robots To Fight !
Council Bluffs, IA does our part,
and crushes them into
rusting heaps of scrap metalART !
I didn’t mention the “kick-back” money did I? Well let’s just say that it’s tons-o-dough for little Buttercup to have plenty of guns, ammo, knives etc.!
What should happen to someone who has punched a hippie: Fined $50, nothing, or paid $50?
Of course if they answer fine em, you know they are hippies that need to be punched.
Which of the following statements more accurately describes Obama: Foreign-born socialist hack with a muslim education, or chart-topping doo-wop sensation?
Frank, I also can provide kickbacks. However, instead of sliding vanilla envelopes stuffed with money, I will slide you the key to a car. The car will not only be a kickback, but will have its trunk full of kickback money.
ussjimmycarter, ball, court, your move.
Wow, a $50 bounty on hippie punching! Imagine the possibilities! Like the old saying goes: Find a job you love, and never work another day in your life.