Archive of entries posted on 14th March 2011

Extreme Supermoon!

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On the 19th of this month, the moon with be at its closest to the earth and be a full moon. This makes it… AN EXTREME SUPERMOON!

When this happens, the moon will gain extra moon superpowers other than its usual abilities to reflect sunlight and synchronize its revolution with its rotation. These powers include but are not limited to:

* Weather control
* Telepathy
* Telekinesis
* The power of flight
* The ability to shoot beams from its eyes (if it had eyes)
* The ability to talk to fish (though they won’t necessarily do what the moon tells them, and even if they do they’re still just fish)

This is a good time to remind people that the moon is a threat. Many people think the moon is our friend, but this is not true. The moon is not our friend. The moon never sends us birthday cards or gives us a ride to the airport. It will certainly not help us move. It’s no one’s friend but its own. And when it gets its extreme supermoon superpowers, it will try to figure out how to use them to destroy us. Because once earth is gone, it gets to be the 3rd planet from the sun and gets the pension that goes along with that.

Hmm… so what can we do to stop a threatening moon…

We Just Need to Give These People Less Access to Our Money

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So Governor Walker went ahead and signed his union smashing bill. I don’t know why they didn’t just do that sooner.

REPUBLICANS: “We’re going to pass this bill.”

DEMOCRATS: “Oh yeah? We’ll just runaway!”

REPUBLICANS: “Cool. That means less whining as it happens.”

And I think the runaway Democrats are back, but no one really cares now. They’re pretty useless and inconsequential whatever state they’re in.

Isn’t it a big problem in our current system of government that these idiots have any say over spending our money? The fleebaggers ran away and went on vacation out of protest of not being able to bribe unions with our money; why do people like that get any access at all to our money? In Constitution 2.0 — the next Constitution we do — there has to be some strict limits on how much money these people can ever have to waste. And if they try to give all our money to education-blocking teachers unions, they will be hunted down by robots with laser eyes. The new Constitution will be in the future, BTW, and the future will have robots and lasers. And better government.

Link of the Day

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Hart of That Hero reports that deranged liberals have RELEASED THE KRAKEN!

Or, more accurately, agitated the drama llama.

[“drama llama” reference link]

Random Thoughts

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Just thinking about Battletoads for some reason and its fun first level that mislead you on what the rest of the game is going to be like. They could have spotted you infinite lives in that game and few people would get half way through it. I think it was about 2/3rds through the 3rd level was when you realized that game was not what you thought it was.

I still have trouble believing memory constraints were so tight that NES Donkey Kong had to leave out the pie factory level.

Best Buy would give me a $320 gift card for my 32GB iPad 1 3G. Must… resist… upgrade… to iPad 2…

Without unionized teachers, children would get all smart and stuff and become our masters.

Buttercup is not just adorable – she’s THEdorable.

If I live to 90, I guess the birth of Buttercup marks the end of Act 1 of my three act play.

Seeing a lot more Truman Show style ads in TV shows. That’s what we get for fast forwarding through commercials.

So what’s SXSW? Is it something involving extreme biking?

Why is Martin Luther King always called Martin Luther King? It there another Martin King we’re trying to distinguish him from?