Did you hear? We got new elements! Numbers 114 and 116.
If you have a collection of elements — and who doesn’t — you need to update it.
In contrast to more familiar elements like carbon, gold and tin, the new ones are short-lived. Atoms of 114 disintegrate within a few seconds, while 116 disappears in just a fraction of a second, Moody said.
Both elements were discovered by a collaboration of scientists from Livermore and Russia. They made them by smashing calcium ions into atoms of plutonium or another element, curium. The official recognition, announced last week, cites experiments done in 2004 and 2006.
That might seem odd, that experiments were conducted 5-7 years ago and they’ve just now made them official. And they still don’t have names.
But, think about it: Barack Obama was born in 1961 and it took 50 years for anyone to find a birth certificate. So those new elements are actually ahead of the game.
So, what should we call these elements?
Number 114 is in the carbon group, which includes carbon (of course), silicon, germanium, tin, and lead. It’s been called “ununquadium,” which is a silly name. It sounds like something they made up for Star Trek — the Voyager Star Trek, not the real Star Trek.
Number 116 is a chalcogen, along with oxygen, sulfur, selenium, tellurium, and polonium. It’s been called ununhexium, which is like 7-Up, the Uncola, only with hexium instead of cola and twice the un.
They are some proposed names for these elements:
The discoverers at Dubna, the Joint Institute for Nuclear Research, in Russia have proposed the name flerovium for 114, after Soviet element-finder Georgy Flyorov, and moscovium for 116, after Russia’s Moscow region.
If Ronald Reagan was president, we wouldn’t put up with naming elements for a bunch of Ruskies. There were 3 elements discovered during Reagan’s time in office — Bohrium, Meitnerium, and Hassium — none named for Russians. Dubnium (105), discovered in 1970, was named for a Russian town, but that wasn’t made official when Clinton was in the White House.
We need to come up with some good names for these new elements. Like what? Like these:
- Whaatthehellisthatium
- Amazonium
- Stuffium
- Beerium
- Imaginarium
- Dilithium
- Hermancainium
- Latinum
- Huminahuminahuminium
- Flubber
- RONPAUL!!!!1!!!!!
- Melange
- Sanitarium
- Upsidasium
- Whentheyredeadyouburium
- Illudium Phosdex
- Nosium
- Eternium
- Sarahpalinium
- Corbomite
- Ricksantorumium
- Cavorite
- Igotthreestarsonallthelevelsofangrybirdsium
- Solarbonite
- Ed
While these might be cool names, you may have some better ideas. Let’s here them.
First-ium!
You forgot Unobtainium
or Tom-Lehrer-ium
Frankium, Fredthompsonium, Cheyniam, W (nothing else, just W), IMAOium, Buttercupium, Jedium, Oxygen or Carbon Zero, or get a nice corporate sponsor (Googlium I-element, Bud-liteium, etc)
And did they skip 115? What’s its name? Why 114 and 116? Is this a conspiracy?
Shawn:
In addition to Number 115 (temporarily named Ununpentium), Number 113 (temporarily named Ununtrium) hasn’t been accepted. And don’t even get me started on 117 (Ununseptium) or 118 (Ununoctium)!
Yes, it’s a conspiracy. I blame the Jews, of course. Or George Bush. Maybe the Federal Reserve.
linky for Sanitarium
which reminds me: Colouroutofspacium
or maybe call it Bob.
How about Baconium? It’s just about toasted BLT time. Three of those and you feel the same as after Thanksgiving dinner. Oh, I ate too much! And the roof of your mouth is raw and sore for three days after.
One more from me: Tiberium. I was gonna say Monolithium, but that name is already used in organic chemistry…
adnauseam
adinfinitum
Weinerite – an element when added to anything instantly make it flaccid and unresponsive
Cocainium – a “Party time ” element serving no good purpose
TSAite- invasive element given to inappropriate touching of the junk of other elements
Just a few of the new elements brought to you by those geniuses in the Obama administration. World Peace, fiscal responsibility and moral leadership on sale to the highest bidder…………and they have a great deal on the Grand Canyon, Mt. Rushmore and the Lincoln Tunnel if you come on in right now.
How ’bout this name: wasteoftaxpayermoneium
Ah, Basil… Your representation of Hermancainium is just wrong.
The correct representation is:
hermanCAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!!ium
And seanmahair, “Weinerite” sounds more like a mineral. Maybe one that we add to our toilets. Just a suggestion. 😉
Ed it is! I would like to formally close this thread as Basil pick the right name. Thank you for your submissions. perhaps if other elements are discovered these names can be considered. HEY MOM they named an element after me! I guess that high school guidance counselor was wrong.
– Retsyn
– T25
– formelycalledprinceium
-dilithium
I’m always a bit sceptical of these new elements. I mean, they all fall into the category of, “You gotta believe me. Honest, it was there a second ago.”
Tunaium – named after the food that also disappears in in just a few seconds.
Seconds? Yes, please. Thank you!
Boreumtodeathum
Setmyhaironfireum
Somesomeshootmeum
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzum
Paulenzzzzzzzzzzzum
Romneysuckseum
Anything “wiener” gives me the “Scared Turtle” just like Butters!
Stadium – named after the building that turns otherwise nice, friendly people into raving maniacs
honestdemocratium – element whose existence has not been confirmed
moonbatium – extremely easy to find in San Francisco, Berkeley, Manhattan, Ann Arbor, Madison, and Vermont
DidIsayhereImeanttosayhearium
rushlimbahium – it’s radioactive!
hydrochloro-bullhockey and lithium-di-yeswecan
Call the one that disappears within a second “Hopium”, and the one that disintegrates almost immediately “Changium”.
I really only care about the elements that affect me. One of the most important elements, necessary for the survival of all living things, is pizza. That’s an important element. Beer is pretty important too. Some might say bacon…although, I’m still undecided about that one.
muslimium, mohammedium, allahuakbarium, jihadium, deathtoamericaium, killthejewsium, thisplutoniumisforpeacefulpurposesium
We must make the muslims feel good about their contributions to science.
@Jimmy: Weinerite isn’t a mineral that we ADD to our toilets, it is that nasty mineral ring that builds up in our toilets all by itself, much to our disgust, and much the way unsolicited emails with lewd pictures routinely flood our inboxes. The only way to deal with Weinerite is to dump caustic chemicals on it and run the other way, opening windows as you go.
I like Unobtainium for 116, since it only last barely long enough to see it, but not touch it or do anything with it
Yeah, you’re right, Crabby. The only question is (and we’ll have to consult seanmahair on this), is whether Weinerite is a permanent ‘element’ in our nucleated arsenal against totalitarianisium – or not. I hope the need for it is temporarium.
I agree with #7 Ivan. Bacon has to be in the name…
Vomitorium
Upsedaisium
Nowyousium
Nowyoudont
Meh
Isn’t it about time we finally had a real kryptonite?
+1 for Kryptonite.
+2 for Igotthreestarsonallthelevelsofangrybirdsium
(because i do… in all 3 versions…)
It just occurred to me (coming in from the sunshine) that people who voted for Weiner are “Weinerites” and not New Yorkers.
Isn’t New York also the bed bug capital of the US? A coincidence? Perhaps not!
Jimmy –
I thought that a weinerite was like a meteorite, but consisted of a small piece of hot dog.
Well, Jim, (may I call you Jim? – call me Jim), seanmahair’s definition of weinerite (and I quote) is “an element when added to anything instantly makes it flaccid and unresponsive.” Reference #26’s (Crabby Old Bat’s) modification to my speculative hypothesis that weinerite is more like a mineral (e.g. compound) than a pure ‘element’ that one would add to a toilet to clean it up. Crabby points out that a fouled toilet is much the same (by implication, I suspect) as Rep. Weiner’s lewd and disgusting pictures being sent to unsolicited recipients, a la email., thus likening it to the disgusting mineral ring that forms inside said toilets. We could, of course, entertain your suggestion that weinerite falls from the sky in the form of small bits of dog meat, but, considering that this discussion has indeed made me flaccid and unresponsive to ordinary stimulii, I think perhaps all four definitions (with modifications) are correct, particularly in view of The Special Theory of Relativity with it’s inherent Lorentzian transformations. And, of course, it’s possible that the three of us are all wrong and we need to consult seanmahair for further analysis, unless, of course, she’s been rendered unresponsive by this discussion!
I saw somebody already talked about Unobtainium, but as everybody knows that is a compound refined from balonium (the abundant atom that makes rocks and dirt and other weird stuff taste good for young children), and easily harvested and plentiful gasses found in the bozone layer of the earth’s atmosphere.
What? Before I gained the wisdom of a three year old apparently I liked to put rocks in my mouth. At least that’s what some jerks keep telling me, I don’t remember for sure, I was pretty young back then.
streisandon?
why did they skip #115? what goes there?