Archive of entries posted on 10th April 2012

Link of the Day: Interviewing Herman Cain

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[High Praise! to John Hawkins]

Liberals may have driven him out of the race with made-up scandals, but they haven’t gotten rid of him:

Interviewing Herman Cain On The VP Slot, Improper Sexual Conduct Charges, & Whether Obama Will Cause America To Default On Its Debt

By the way, anyone else notice how all those women who so “reluctantly” crawled out of the woodwork have crawled back in again now that the Obama campaign cash has stopped flowing in their direction?

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

lolterizt! Part 155

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This week terrorists, next week That One. Submit for either at lolterizt@gmail.com

Meanwhile, pass ’em around, spread the love, and if you make your own, don’t be shy about dropping a link to your pics in the comments. The more, the merrier.

NOTE TO READERS: Hovering your mouse over the picture activates closed captioning for the l33t-speak/txtmsg impaired.


[reference link]


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From Kris:

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From Les of Brick Moon:

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From Mrs C:

From Mrs C:

From Mrs C:

[Eric Holder, maybe?]

From Mrs C:

From VelvetElvis:

My favorites from the submissions using last edition’s uncaptioned picture:

From Arik:

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From Arik:

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From Arik:

This week’s uncaptioned picture for you to play with:

That’s a couple Taliban recently caught trying to infiltrate coalition forces while wearing women’s clothes.

Either Arik for knowing his show tunes, or Kris for knowing his Latin, because I don’t know either.

Well, except for whatever Gilbert & Sullivan I’ve picked up from the Simpsons.

What say you?

PRODUCTION NOTES:
#1: When creating lolterizt! pictures, please caption with either black or white text, as colors like red and yellow tend to blur badly when I compress the images.

#2: Standard image size for these posts is 350px wide by whatever high. If you can have your images 350px wide before you caption them, I won’t end up shrinking your captions into illegibility when I re-size the images.

MAKE YOUR OWN: The free lolbuilder from I Can Has Cheezburger.

STYLE NOTE: Short captions are usually better. Your goal is 10 words or less, with humor value tending to increase exponentially as the number of words approaches 1.

HAT TIP: Brian of Snapped Shot‘s magnificent EvilFeed – the world’s best source for ripe-for-captioning terrorist photos.

Send your submissions to lolterizt@gmail.com and – if they aren’t obscene (IMAO is a PG-13 site) and don’t suck too terribly bad – I’ll post them for you. Remember to include your name (and blog URL, if applicable) so I know who to thank.

Nuke the News: Rubbishing Assumptions

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* I mentioned Obama’s Chicago headquarters getting into gear yesterday, but Ace had a keen observation about it.

Look at this shot of the people working at the Obama HQ in Chicago:

Can you spot any minorities. I looked a while, and I could see one Asian girl but that’s it.

Well, maybe they couldn’t find any black Obama supporters. In Chicago.

But just because white liberals want to help minorities doesn’t mean they want to be around them. They like to help from afar in their nice white sanctuaries. So maybe the Obama HQ in Chicago is like white liberals’ own private Vermont.

* James O’Keefe has a video showing how easy it is for a white man to go in and get Eric Holder’s ballot when no photo ID is required. Eric Holder has previously said voter fraud is not a problem, so I guess he’s okay with people voting as him.

Though I’ve always understood when a liberal says that voter fraud isn’t a problem, he means it isn’t a problem in that it hurts the chances of Democrats winning. But it will when O’Keefe starts voting for all you liberals.

* They always talk about the gender gap as Republicans losing women, but they never talk about how Democrats have problems with men. It’s because they’re the feminine party for only the sissiest of men — that’s not my opinion; that’s Science!. Of course, there are lots of women in the Republican Party — but when women like masculine stuff like football and guns and being a Republican, that’s awesome. But when guys like feminine stuff like picking out drapes and makeup and being a Democrat, not so much.

* At the Easter Roll, the White House handed out basketballs with Obama’s face on them. You ever think that guy has a bit of an ego?

Strangely, none of the kids wanted to shoot a basket and just wanted to dribble, striking the ball over and over as hard as they could.

* Instagram was bought by Facebook for 1 billion dollars. Instagram lets you share photos and put filters on them to make them look old, which helps cover up the fact that you’re not a very good photographer (here’s my Instagram of Buttercup in a hoodie).

With the purchase of this little company for so much, some are wondering if we’re in a tech bubble again. You mean this great economy we’re in right now is resting on top of a bubble? Great.

* Wisdom of the Day from Bill Corbett:

How did everyone’s abs workout go today? I worked mine HARD, pushing ’em from the inside by ingesting lots of cake. Boooya!

* There’s a study in Britain that the left-wing are more likely to have liberal views. Look at this quote:

The research, carried out by thinktank Demos, rubbishes the assumption that faith groups tend to be more conservative.

All I have to say to that is that “rubbish” is a verb? How did we ever take the British seriously?

New Instagram Civil War Era Filter

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Beta test of requested feature, using Frank J’s picture:


“IMAO Civil War coverage, brought to you by Zoloft”

[High Praise! to MarkoMancuso for the inspiration]

Random Thoughts: How Frank J. Will Die

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Making my photos look like they’re from the 70s isn’t good enough; Instagram needs to add a Civil War era filter.

This may be a little late, but I’m starting to wonder if we should have stuck with the Articles of Confederation.

It would be cool if Google had an animated GIF of Muybridge murdering his wife’s lover.

Wow my HarperCollins check has a lot of security features. There must be a lot of dishonest authors trying to scam them.

None as genius as me, though.

The coolest security feature is this thumbprint that changes color when you touch. I will play with this check forever.

BTW, if you want to be featured in a future royalty check, go buy my book, only $1.99 (less than two dollars).

Most of the profits will go towards the “Buy Buttercup Cute Hats” fund.

And don’t read someone else’s copy instead of buying it yourself; that’s the same as theft which is a crime like rape.

“Only $1.99! That’s practically giving it away!” Yes, but with the distinction that we’re not.

I’m always afraid I’ll look back on my death bed and say, “I wished I’d pimped my stuff more.”

I probably won’t have a death bed, though; I’ll probably die in some sort of awesome explosion.

“R.I.P. Frank J. Fleming. When he exploded, it was hella awesome!”

I can’t wait until you all get to see my next book. I would say it will be the most awesome book ever, but that would undersell it. The previously most awesome book is so far behind it that it’s an insult to compare it to it.

Do you think the people who complain the most loudly about homophobes are secretly homophobes themselves?

BTW, I should remind you, if you already bought my book, you can also gift it to anyone with an email address (i.e., anyone).

I’m waiting to play Mass Effect 3 until they fix the face import bug. I don’t want to play with some Commander Shepherd I don’t recognize. #FirstWorldProblems