[High Praise! to hwuu]
Take a look at Frank J:
Now click this link:
Spooky, huh?
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
PYONGYANG (AP) – North Korea launched a long-range rocket on Friday, but it broke apart before escaping the earth’s atmosphere and fell into the sea. The Korean Central News Agency said that scientists, technicians and experts are looking into the specific cause of the failure, but preliminary reports indicate it likely stemmed from allowing Democrat strategist Hilary Rosen to take charge of the operation.
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Fearing negative publicity about the launch, the North Korean government had hired Rosen in the hopes that she could put a “friendlier face” on the event.
“We’re big fans of Ms. Rosen’s work,” said North Korean spokesman Ri Tong-il. “As head of the RIAA, she put a human face to the organization, associating it closely with grandmothers and small children who downloaded songs off the internet. The once-hated music consortium is now frequently referred to as ‘jack-booted thugs’, which – according to Google Translate – is a warm American term of endearment.”
However, the project soon ran into headwinds with Rosen at the helm.
“On day one,” explained Tong-il, “she fired nearly everyone working on the project. Said something about how North Korean scientists had ‘never worked a day in their lives’ and insisted that only women who divided their time between careers and raising children were qualified to work on the project. Naturally we pointed out that North Korean women aren’t allowed to learn rocket science, but she assured us that is was enough that they knew how to make choices in terms of how to feed their kids and send them to school.”
“In retrospect,” sighed Tong-il, “it probably should’ve been a red flag to us that she had all the rocket’s o-rings replaced with Fruit Roll-ups.”
Rosen later apologized for her role in facilitating the tragically ill-constructed space-vehicle’s untimely catastrophic failure, saying “this isn’t about whose rocket crashed where because of whom. This is about the waitress in a diner in some place in Pyongyang who’ll never get the chance to wire up fancy rockety doo-dads. I’m sorry if that offended you, but it’s time to focus on the real issues. Let’s put this faux rocket launch to rest once and for all.”
* So I guess the war on women is officially over, Democrats having to pull out after suffering heavy losses thank to Hilary Rosen. “We thought those stupid bimbos would welcome us with open arms!” the Democrat were heard saying.
There are apparently a lot of myths out there about stay at home moms, as many people (especially condescending know-nothings) seem to think that’s just a rich people thing, now. A lot of the women who stay at home are those with lower education who couldn’t make a lot of money outside the home anyway. It really is a choice for most people if its a two parent household. We get ourselves in situations — especially with debt — where both parents need to work, but it’s not our income but our life choices that cause that. This is just another one of those areas where people want to believe things are out of their hands, but its not true. I’ve known families who earn a lot less than mine who made the choice and the sacrifices to have a stay at home mom. And it is a sacrifice, but it’s often worth it. I mean, my wife was a CPA and could earn a pretty good income outside the home if she wanted which added to mine would be… hurm…
What was I talking about? I got distracted thinking about lots of money.
* Oh, some real news happened. North Korea launched a long range missile. Except it didn’t go long range; it just plopped in the ocean.
We should probably do something about North Korea being all defiant and stuff and doing things like this, but we got our own problems right now. Gas prices are high and stuff. Maybe we can wait until they have a working missile. Then we’ll do something.
* 12 Christians in Iran are awaiting verdict for being “apostates”. You know, if you have to threaten people with prison or execution to keep them in your religion, maybe your religion isn’t so great. Just a thought.
* If you’re kind of short and want to do something about, holding a gun makes you appear taller according to a new study (Sceince!). So just get some elevator shoes and a magnum revolver and no one will look down on you. Or at least they’ll be polite.
* Wisdom of the Day from lauren ashley bishop:
that rocket hasn’t worked a day in its life!
* Newark mayor Corey Booker suffers second degree burns while rescuing neighbor from a fire. He wins the IMAO “Not Completely Useless Politician” award.
Obama’s statement on Reagan was interesting. “Ronald Reagan would support me in– AHH! A MYSTICAL FORCE JUST PUNCHED ME IN THE JUNK!”
The mere existence of stay at home moms is seen as a grave insult to some women.
I wonder what Sandra Fluke thinks about all this? I was going to ask her, but there was a sock on her door.
I’m not sure if the reason there are less stay at home moms now than in the past I’m is because we’re poorer or because we’re whinier.
Democrats: “You may not understand it because of your flighty, hormone-addled woman brains, but the GOP are waging a war on women.”
Half the people I know are named Hilary Rosen.
War on Women Update: Men raised their voices, women started crying, men unconditionally surrendered.
Jay Carney on North Korean missile launch: “Who are we talking about? I know like eight Kim Jung Uns.”
So basically modern feminism is trading one gender role women are punished for deviating from for another.
My wife is a stay at home mom, not to brag. Okay, it’s to brag. It’s harder for me not to brag than other people because I’m so awesome.
Once we were DINCs – dual income, no children. And now we have so much more.
Scientists estimate that by the year 2050, one out of every six people will be Hilary Rosen.
Obama: “The Romneys aren’t regular folk like you and me. They’ve never had to fret about the rising cost of organic arugula.”
BREAKING: Citing heavy losses, the Democrats have pulled out of the war on women.
Obama should release a statement telling the North Koreans that was a really good try. Last thing they need is more self-esteem issues.
Did the missile crash into the sea or was it successfully launched at Aquaman?
Democrats: “We thought with the war on women, women would welcome us with open arms. We weren’t prepared for the insurgents.”
Political strategist Hilary Rosen’s report: “Preliminary results are that going after stay at home moms is a no go.”
People must have been so bored all the time before smart phones.
I think North Korea’s main problem is that they order their missile parts from the same place Wile E. Coyote does.
It’s funny because North Korea’s missiles don’t work and we can nuke anyone in the world we want whenever we feel like it.
