[High Praise! to Eddie]
Super Secret Answer Key (highlight to view text)
Left to right (standing): Van Jones, Saul Alinsky, Andy Stern, Cass Sunstein, Samantha Power, Michelle Obama, Barack Obama, Sr.
Left to right (seated): George Soros, Bill Ayers, Bernardine Dohrn, Barack Obama, Jeremiah Wright, Richard Trumka, John Maynard Keynes, Friedrich Engels, Frances Fox Piven, Karl Marx.
Although Steven Den Beste normally verges on the psychic, I gotta say he’s way off on this one, because if the Obamacare insurance mandate survives SCOTUS, they’ve already said the next item they’ll require you to buy is broccoli.
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
CARTAGENA, COLOMBIA – (AP) Colombian civil authorities are on high alert, desperately attempting to quell riots after President Obama threatened the country at the Summit of the Americas on Saturday by saying he was there “to scout out where I may want to bring Michelle back later for vacation.”
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“He and his gang of bandito Secret Service agents have already stolen our precious prostititutes,” said Colombian President Juan Mauel Santos. “What will he do the next time he comes here? Entice our sluts with free contraceptives?”
“This is obviously a threat to send troops into our nation,” said Santos. “Remember that time he ‘vacationed’ to Brazil and BAM! Libya goes up in flames? You don’t have to be a genius to know that ‘bring Michelle’ is code for ‘invade your country and steal your tamales.'”
In cities all over Colombia, streets were littered with overturned serape stands and burning burros, and rioters howled their displeasure over Obama’s bullying tactics.
“Why would he bring Michelle here?” wailed protester Juan Valdez. “We don’t have luxury ski resorts in our mountains. Just coffee, hand-picked by hard-working peasants like myself. There is no snow there. Well, not the skiing kind, anyway. Why don’t they go to Qatar? Lots of fat-asses over there for her to nag.”
A spokesman for Michelle Obama dismissed the situation as “overblown,” insisting that the First Lady was unlikely to visit Colombia.
“Well, basically, it’s a third-world rathole. Why would she go there? Unless they start selling $6000 purses and breeding Wagyu llamas.”
In the comments, Scott [High Praise! pending someone accepting this challenge] had this suggestion:
What would be appropriate would be a group photo of Obama and all of the screw-ups in his administration (e.g., Geithner, Holder, Clinton, Napolidumbo, Panetta, Obama himself, etc.) super-imposed on a picture of the Titantic, portraying all of those chronic screw-ups as the officers and crew of the Titantic.
Of course, no such group photo would be complete without Obama’s waving hand obscuring the face of one of that clueless twit’s cabinet members.
I know for a fact that there are some good “digital image rehab artists” amongst the IMAO readership. If you’d care to take a stab at it, either send the result to me at harvolson@gmail.com, or post it on your own site and send me a link.
UPDATE: Scott offers further suggestions for the picture:
In view of Hillary Clinton’s recent undignified escapades in Columbia, and in view of the recent GSA scandal(s), it might be even more appropriate to show caricatures of Obama and caricatures of the screw-ups in his administration PARTYING on the deck or on the bridge of the Titantic… you know, as a take-off of Nero fiddling as Rome burned.
[…]
for the benefit of those who might not get it otherwise, you know, like Democrats, it might be helpful to have a cartoon caricature of Nero fiddling, along with or inserted into that group photo of the Obama Administration partying on the Titantic
* It seems like the Buffett Rule is about dead as it has no chance of passing in Congress and even liberal pundits are starting to call it a gimmick. I never think I properly ranted about how absolutely stupid a waste of time the idea was, though, so I’m going to try now. Here is my Buffett Rule rant directed at President Obama:
You pompous, useless idiot, why are you wasting all you time promoting a completely pointless tax program that doesn’t absolutely nothing to help against the deficit? Do you see the unemployment? The gas prices? Does any of that register in your empty little head? Or does it just go in one dumbo ear and out the other? But that’s not what the Buffett Rule is about; actually doing anything even slightly useful is far beyond your wildest dreams. This is just about “fairness”. Because when people don’t have a job and can’t afford basic necessities, fairness is what we’re all most worried about. “Don’t worry, honey, we’ll feed our family on fairness.” “We don’t have to worry about retirement; we have a 401k filled with fairness.” You want to know what’s fair? You and all the whiny useless twits who think the Buffett Rule is awesome all living penniless on the streets scrounging through trashcans for scraps of food while I laugh maniacally at your sad little faces. Fairness is all you idiots getting out of the way of useful people like us and you’re opinions never having any affect on us ever again. So you better thank God every day life isn’t fair.
Eh. Don’t think I quite nailed it. All this time Obama wasted on the Buffett Rule is so moronic, it’s hard to really grasp.
* So the Secret Service is in the midst of a prostitution scandal. And I don’t if I buy their excuse: “Those prostitutes were going to have sex with the president, so we did our duty and threw ourselves in front of them!”
* I would almost think its a parody, but here apparently is the English website for North Korea. Read about how awesome North Korea is and how it’s great for both tourism and business (full diplomatic relations with most EU members!). No wonder they could build a rocket that flew a whole minute!
I understand them peddling this stuff to their isolated citizens, but who do they expect in America to be dumb enough to read their website and think they’re awesome? Outside of a college campus, I mean.
* Wisdom of the Day from David Burge:
The “War on Women” meme serves the same purpose as Axelrod’s combover, and is equally successful.
UPDATE: Linked by Internet Scofflaw
If Romney doesn’t like guns, that would just be further evidence he’s Batman.
Romney: “I am a big supporter of automatic bullet-firing weaponry.”
Not once has Obama ever spoken against raping chickens.
People barely ever rue anything other than “the day”.
I don’t want to jinx it, but I hope you fail.
As a baby, you stumble around, confused by everything. When you grow older, you learn to fake it better.
Violence is never the best solution unless you’re judging by speed and the amount of satisfaction you’ll get.
If I’m opposed to stay at home moms influencing politics, am I man from 1910 or a modern feminist?
I’m having fun at Coachella stealing purses.
How much tax money has been wasted on pillars and domes? Why do government buildings need those?
Every government building should be a simple square structure where everyone sits on folding chairs.
There is a certain level of stupidity that’s only attainable by currently being at college, either as a student or a professor.
ICE CAN’T CUT STEEL!!! #Titanic
The main lesson from the Titanic is to not start a voyage by looking up at the heavens and shouting, “I defy you to sink this!”
The other lesson: Icebergs always have the right of way.
Doesn’t “iceberg” sound a bit like a Jewish superhero with frost powers?
The Titanic is why most cruises these days are to the Caribbeans and stuff – no icebergs.
