[High Praise! to seanmahair]
The President’s dog is missing!
By the way, does Obama own any of America’s 17 remaining Dog n Suds?
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
[Click for more “Obama Ate a Dog” humor]
UPDATE: Linked by Liberal Whoppers
Weird soundbites coming out of this campaign.
Like this oddball statement from the First Lady:
[Michelle] Obama closed by asking the audience three times, “Are you in?”
“Because I am so in,” she said over the applause. “We have an amazing story to tell. This president has brought us out of the dark and into the light.”
Now generally that’s a metaphor for something GOOD happening to you, but given Barack’s unmitigated record of disaster, it can’t possibly be true in this case. So maybe she meant it like:
______________
 |
1) The obvious death-metaphor of “walking toward the light.”
2) Train tunnel. Train coming. Obama likes trains.
3) Sunny, breezy, summer day. The roof of your house blows off.
4) Meditating with a single candle. Your curtains catch on fire.
5) Sleeping peacefully at 3am, the EPA exercises a no-knock warrant by throwing a flash-grenade through your window to remind you to use compact fluorescent bulbs.
6) You’re an old-school vampire and your name’s not Blade.
7) “You develop your own film? Cool! Let’s have a look at what’s soaking in the tray!” [click]
8) Out parking with your best girl and Officer McNosy puts 1500 lumens into your eyes.
9) Anyone remember the end of “Stalag 17”?
10) Oh look! Cyclops took his visor off!
______________
Well, it all worked out OK for Joan of Arc, right?
We can’t get to space anymore, but we can give piggy back rides.
Another black person was shot by an armed neighborhood watch member, but luckily the person shot was hologram Tupac.
Ironically, Romney strapping his dog to the top of his car is a good analogy for how Obama has treated most American and their concerns.
On any porn you buy, there’s a signature from one of the Supreme Court Justices affirming that he looked at it and judged it to be porn.
Interesting that white men as a whole really don’t like Democrats but they still make up most of the Democrats’ leadership.
I guess the lesson is: Don’t trust white people.
The one thing I hate about the iPad is I can’t see the mouse over humor on xkcd.
If any of you digital image rehab artists want to do a fancier version, a good plate pic can be found here. You can send it to me at harvolson@gmail.com, and depending on its level of awesomeness, I may post it.
UPDATE: Les of Brick Moon [High Praise!] took me up on the challenge and succeeded wildly:
UPDATE: Larsinkima [High Praise!] piles on:
* Obama ate a dog. I’m thinking this will be the news story for a little while, especially after Obama’s campaign has gone after Romney for strapping a dog to the top of his car. They figured it would actually hurt Romney because people like dogs so much. So how will people react to Obama eating a dog?
Strangely, this revelation was out in the open in one of Obama’s memoirs, it was just up to Jim Treacher to find it as it’s not like the MSM is going to notice little details like that on someone who isn’t a Republican. A member of the Romney campaign has already made a joke about it (playing off a joke David Axelrod made implying Romney doesn’t care about dogs). The Obama campaign response was that he was a kid when he ate the dog. So there’s the defense: “Obama 2012: It’s been a while since he last ate a dog.”
I kind of humored myself out on this last night when I first heard of it, so make sure to check out my Random Thoughts on it. I’m sure I’ll come up with more jokes soon, though. I mean, come on, he ate a dog.
* The Obama campaign is planning to use “trust” as a campaign buzzword. I’m not sure that will work since right now a lot of people are thinking about how they wouldn’t trust him with walking Fido.
* See, I told you.
* Michelle Obama said about her husband, “This president has brought us out of the dark and into the light.” Something about Obama eating a dog goes here.
* The shuttle Discovery flew around DC on the back of a Boeing 747. Once, a long time ago, America could get men into space, and now all NASA can do is give piggy back rides. The little kid I was in the 80s reading about space would be pretty depressed to hear what actually happened with our space program in the coming decades.
Obama very much wants to revive our space program… though it’s mainly because he thinks Laika is still up there. Mmm… free dog meat.
* Basil sent me this neat link. Apparently in front of Japanese shopping mall, they built a full size Gundam robot statue. That sure beats some boring bronze statue of a guy on a horse. Also, Obama ate a dog.
* Wisdom of the Day from James Taranto:
This is what happens when you elect someone president without properly vetting him.
IMAO reader zzyzx [High Praise!] left a huge and scary-looking link to a video in the comments. Since it has that “gotta be spam or possibly a virus” look about it, I wanted to put everyone’s mind at ease and say that not only is the link legit, it’s pretty entertaining, too:
In case you missed it, Obama once ate a dog.
Obama: “I can’t believe Romney strapped his dog to the roof of his car. That ruins the flavor.”
I should have suspected something when Obama stopped by Glenn Reynolds’s house for drinks.
All jokes aside, Obama obviously loves dogs. He even wrote a book “To Serve Dog.”
For those not getting the humor, eating a dog in our culture is considered a bit sociopathic.
Our culture is superior.
Politics, it’s an Obama-eat-dog world.
Obama 2012: “Mmm… puppies.”
Obama 2012: “And your little dog, too!”
Obama isn’t anti-woman; when he said “bitch,” he was referring to his meal.
This is a humor goldmine. This is the best thing Obama has ever done for me.
Obama can’t spend his time on these silly attacks; he has a lot on his plate right now.
When Obama was looking for a dog he wasn’t allergic to, I thought it was the dander he was worried about.
There’s that out of touch Romney, too rich to ever have to eat a dog.
Obama: “This proper dog care course is useless; they haven’t said on thing about how long to marinate them.”
Obama 2012: “Hasn’t eaten a dog in awhile.”
Obama: “Well what was I supposed to do with the leftovers from my dog fighting ring?”
Dog bites man – not news. Man bites dog – news. President bites dog – BEST NIGHT OF TWITTER EVER!!!
I thought something funny would happen to Obama like when Carter was bitten by a rabbit, but I was way off.
How can you tell if you’re a humorless lefty? You don’t find this dog stuff hilarious.
We need to get Jeremiah Wright’s opinion on this dog eating thing.
“I promise you: If you like your dog, you can keep him. Though I may ask you to share some with me.”
Obama: “Call me a ‘foodie,’ but I really love the Westminster Dog Show.”
Cesar Milan: “Remember, it’s exercise, discipline, then affection.”
Obama: “Yeah, but what temperature do I set the oven?”
Obama was so disappointed when he went to Taco Bell and found out they didn’t actually have Chihuahuas.
This is a good opportunity if Marmaduke ever wanted to be politically relevant.
I could do this all night, but I’m dog tired – which to Obama means being sleepy from having a big meal.
UPDATE: More of Frank’s “Obama ate a dog” jokes.
UPDATE: The full “Obama Ate a Dog” category – your one-stop-shop for Obama dog-eating humor.
UPDATE: Linked at The Virginian
UPDATE: Linked by Transterrestrial Musings
UPDATE: Linked by Instapundit, who DOES know what Frank’s talking about.
UPDATE: Linked by BizzyBlog
UPDATE: Linked by NerdWatch
UPDATE: Linked by YouViewed
UPDATE: Linked by Blog de KingShamus
UPDATE: Linked by The Conservatory
UPDATE: Linked by I’m 41
UPDATE: Linked by Transsylvania Phoenix
UPDATE: Linked by Catallaxy Files
UPDATE: Linked by VA Viper
