Archive of entries posted on 19th April 2012

Tastes Like… Ricky Schroder???

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OBAMA: “I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth.”

Nope. It wasn’t a Silver Spoon… it was a Golden Retriever!

He is never gonna live this one down, folks. This is comedy gold! All your talking points are belong to us!!!

[♪ Together we’re gonna find our way… ♪]

BONUS ROUND:

•OBAMA to ROMNEY: “You don’t tie a dog to the roof of your car, everyone knows you tie the meat to the front grill!”

•ROMNEY had a dog on the roof of his car… OBAMA had a dog on the roof of his mouth!

•”Look out, Bo! That’s not a bathtub… it’s a roasting pan!!!”

[Click for more “Obama Ate a Dog” humor]

Link of the Day: Did Obama Lie About Eating Dog?

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[High Praise! to Joan of Argghh!]

Indonesian Source: Obama Would Have to Hunt for Dog Meat in Jakarta

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

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Conspiracy Theorists Demand Obama Produce Birth Spoon

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ELYRIA, OHIO (AP) – Following President Barack Obama taking a not-too-subtle swipe at his Republican opponent, Mitt Romney, by declaring: “I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth,” conspiracy theorists have begun demanding that Obama produce his birth spoon to prove his claim.

Titanium spork birth utensil image released by White House – photo credit: ThinkGeek.com

The head of the “spooner” movement, Rielle “Lunar” Tich, said that she doesn’t necessarily doubt the President’s claim, she just wants to see the evidence herself.

“He says it wasn’t a ‘silver spoon‘. Fine… then what WAS it? Was it stainless steel? Was it plastic? Was it actually a fork? I mean, there are a LOT of questions here, and Obama is clearly stonewalling by refusing to release his actual, original birth utensil.”

Although the Obama administration quickly responded to the allegations by releasing a small, grainy image of the eating equipment alleged to have been originally stuffed in the infant Obama’s oral cavity upon uterine explusion, many remain unconvinced.

“Look closely at the White House’s ‘official’ image, and you’ll notice how the two middle tines extend outward past the curve of the spoon-bowl’s natural arc,” said Tich. “This is clearly a fake.”

“The truth is that the original is locked up in a kitchen drawer in Hawaii somewhere, and Obama will neither release it, nor grant permission for it to be viewed by the general public. Although the Governor of Hawaii CLAIMS he’s seen it with his own eyes, he later recanted with the feeble excuse that the drawer was ‘stuck because of a wedged spatula’ and he ‘only caught of glimpse’ of the original.”

Presumptive Republican nominee Mitt Romney’s campaign refused to comment directly on the infant implement imbroglio, saying only that “it’s time for America to focus on important things like jobs and the economy, and stop being distracted by when what was crammed into which of the President’s orifices, and whether it was full of dog meat at the time.”

Nuke the News: Obama Still Ate a Dog

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* BREAKING NEWS: It’s still true that Obama ate a dog.

* Romney says this election is about jobs, though, and not which presidential candidate may or may not be tempted to eat fluffy little puppies. In fact, what is the worse label for Obama: “dog-eater” or “guy responsible for the current state of the economy”?

Some of the Obama-bots are still trying to rescue the dog issue for Obama as they would much rather fight on that field than the more substantial issues where Obama has failed immensely. I even had a number of people on Twitter try to insist that what Romney did was super serious but what Obama did isn’t important. To which the proper response is “OBAMA ATE A DOG!!!” If the Dems want silly side-issues, the dog-eating president is going to star.

* Millionaire Obama is trying to strike against Romney’s wealth saying, “I wasn’t born with a silver spoon in my mouth.” Okay, what’s less relatable to: guy with silver spoon in mouth or guy with dog in his mouth?

And is Obama claiming he can relate to the common man because he built himself up with such normal blue collar jobs as “community organizer” and “memoir writer”? He’s just a normal guy like you who eats dog, hangs out with domestic terrorists, and goes to a crazy racist preacher ranting about the CIA creating AIDS. And he ate a dog. Did I already mention that?

* I’d like to thank the GSA for demonstrating government spending in such a clear way. It’s nice to know what the money would go to if we raised taxes on the rich. See, the choice is never do we want the rich or the poor to have the money, it’s whether we want people who are responsible with their money to keep it or whether that should instead be taken and given to people who are extremely irresponsible with money. If you choose the later, please punch yourself until you understand the error of your ways.

* The Secret Service are meeting with Ted Nugent. And they’re going to do it in Colombia. It’s going to be a crazy party.

* Young people are apparently not excited about Obama or Romney this election year. That’s cool; we really need to start teaching people at a young age to despise all politicians.

* Acura is in trouble for having a casting call for one of their ads where they wanted an African-American who wasn’t “too dark”. The funny thing is, they could have just put out a casting call for a white guy and not gotten into any trouble. Acting is that last place where blatant racial discrimination is tolerated. I guess racism is okay if it’s for “art”.

* Wisdom of the Day from Jon Gabriel:

If I owned a dog, it would probably look a lot like the one Obama ate.

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Obama Finally Decides on Official 2012 Campaign Slogan

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Frank already broke the news, and I found the official campaign poster:

[Reference link]

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Random Thoughts: More Dog-Eating Fun

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Obama ate a dog.

Obama said people talk to him like he’s a dog. Well, you are what you eat.

Maybe I’m overreacting, but I’m pretty afraid of what will happen when Obama meets with my representative Raul Labrador.

You can disagree with Romney’s transportation method, but his dog always arrived at the destination alive and uneaten.

Quiet! You’re all making baby Obama cry!

Obama was surprised when he went to see The Hunger Games and it wasn’t about dog racing.

TEACHER: “What sound does a dog make?”
LITTLE BARACK: “Usually a sort of sizzle.”

Obama 2012: “How much is that doggie in the window?”

“Ann Romney never worked a day in her life!”
“She also never ate a dog.”

Some people don’t seem to have a coherent politically philosophy beyond that they like sneering at everyone.

So was the Obama team really expecting to ride the roof of Romney’s car all the way to reelection?

Obama 2012: “Reelect me president or I’ll eat this dog.”

Obama: “Romney can’t relate with the common man; he probably only eats purebreds.”

So what would Obama rather be talking about? How he eats dogs or the state of the economy?

He might actually publicly chomp down on a poodle just to keep people from talking about the bigger issues.

Dennis Miller is pretty funny when you can figure out what the hell he’s talking about.

Had a few people try and tell me the Romney thing was horrible but Obama dog-eating is nothing. My response: nomnomnom

Whether you agree with Bill O’Reilly’s politics or not, if you’ve read one of his books you have to admit the guy knows his python code.

[Click for more “Obama Ate a Dog” humor]

UPDATE: Linked by Never Yet Melted

UPDATE: Linked by The Village Voice

UPDATE: Linked by Dog Training Guidance

Man Bites Dog!

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THIS brings a whole new meaning to that old commercial jingle:

♪ The dog kids love to bite! ♪

Cross-posted at America is an Obamanation!

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Dogs Against Obama

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The inevitable website, Dogs Against Obama, is now a reality, featuring items such as this:

Fair warning, it can get… indelicate… there on occasion, so look over your shoulder before hitting the link and make sure there are no kids or bosses lurking about.

[Click for more “Obama Ate a Dog” humor]