Frank offered his suggestion for an Obama campaign poster this morning, and Bunkerhillbilly asked:
“Wouldn’t the poster make a better impact if the UFO was either in the shape of the Obama Logo or if it was sporting an Obama bumpersticker?”
Anything for a Nuker:
[High Praise! to John]
Not the new movie, of course, which will be a cringe-worthy bucket of awful, but a defense of the critters as superheroes. Such defense made necessary by a cruel and thoughtless review penned by Roger Ebert quite some time ago in which he checked his professionalism at the door and attacked the characters instead of the movie.
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Vs. The Evil Roger Ebert
Be warned, it’s got a fair sprinkling of adult language, but it’s just ever so much fun watching Ebert take one in the teeth.
Right off the bat, Ebert claims that “A recent national survey reported that 95 percent of grade school teachers could trace aggressive, antisocial classroom behavior to the Ninja Turtles…”. This is nothing more than the standard, recycled nonsense about a various work of art or entertainment corrupting young minds and turning kindergartners into skull-cracking rape machines. In what publication did he find that highly scientific and unbiased survey? Liberal Guilt Quarterly? Or maybe from the scholastic journal of Bored Housewife Who Wants to Feel Important So She Dusts Off the Cliffnotes From Her Community College Psychology Class And Half-Ass Analyzes Her Eight-Year-Old Son? Probably that one. They’re known for their hard-hitting investigative journalism.
Much, much more at the link.
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Before his first official campaign rally in Ohio, President Obama predicted an “overflow” crowd at the 20,000-seat venue.
5,000 of those seats went unfilled.
But that’s OK. There are some perfectly legitimate explanations:
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1) They weren’t “empty”, they were “sitting-ready”.
2) No one sitting? Obviously this means that Michelle’s “Let’s Move” initiative is working.
3) Boehner’s from Ohio, so everyone was outside having a smoke in his honor.
4) They were all reserved for Obama’s many composite girlfriends. Who totally exist.
5) Shouldn’t have sold that block of tickets to the American Kennel Club.
6) Still damp from the Bieber concert
7) “20,000 men enter, 15,000 men leave.” Thunderdome™ v0.1 (Beta)
8) Check the closet. Bill Clinton might be “interviewing” interns.
9) Ticket-holder #15,001 – Michael Moore – jammed in the doorway. You’d be surprised how often this happens.
10) Obama’s audience was hand-selected to be representative of the entire American population, so 25% of them were out watching “The Avengers.”
11) This is Obama’s base we’re talking about. Maybe they had trouble catching a cab from the cemetary.
______________
Still, no one’s been able to delve to the bottom of this situation’s TRUE quandry:
Why were 15,000 of those seats full?
[High Praise! to Sharky]
After carefully considering your input, I’m gonna go with Sharky’s suggestion of “Moon Nukers”.
Through all the long (nearly 10 years) history of IMAO, the Nuke the Moon logo has always been featured prominently, and best symbolizes the peace-loving nature of this site, so it seems most appropriate.
Also, it shortens down nicely to “Nukers”, which sounds pretty bad-ass in itself.
Can’t say “Nukas”, though, because that sounds kinda… fissionist.
Anyway, I whipped you up some colors so you can go around threatening rival blog gangs like the Huff Posters, Kossacks, and Puppy Blenders:
Also, a smaller version that you can put on your blog/website/Facebook page:
Various & sundry Moon Nukers gear is available at the IMAO store. Sadly, having it on the back of a leather jacket is not a CafePress option, so you’ll just have to wear your t-shirt backwards or something.
Oh, and to clarify, the Moon Nukers isn’t a “club”. It’s a gang. Clubs are for baby seals.
UPDATE: I recently realized that CafePress DOES offer a “print on the back option”, so I added some back-printed t-shirts to the Moon Nukers section (first 9 items).
IMAO gets a lot of Google hits for the Fun Facts About the 50 States posts I wrote back during the IMAO podcast era.
Thing is, they’re not in their own category, just mixed in with “Fun Trivia”.
I kept meaning to fiddle with the archives & give them their own category, and actually logged in to start doing it last night.
Then it occurred to me that Wyoming went up about 5 years ago. Half the people here haven’t even read it, much less the other 49 states.
And the other half have forgotten enough of the lines for them to be funny again.
So, since posting tends to be light on weekends anyway, I’m going to start re-posting them, one at a time, on Saturdays.
In their own category, of course.
* Big news yesterday. Obama took a strong, clear pro-donor money stance.
The funny thing to me is that what brought on Obama “courageous evolution” was Joe Biden just shooting his stupid mouth off as usual. All indications are that the White House was caught off guard by it and basically it, along with the North Carolina vote, made his position on gay marriage no one believed look all the more craven. They figured supporting gay marriage will hurt him with whatever religious voters the Democrats haven’t already scared away but him looking like the politically calculating coward he is was even worse.
So courageousness!
This probably neutralizes the flip flop issue for Romney, though. When called on anything, he can just say he “evolved.”
* I’ve already got a couple fund raising emails from Obama where you’re supposed to award him for his courage.
It starts “Today, I was asked a direct question and gave a direct answer”. Yeah, after 99 times of hedging on the answer. Yet, lots of Dems are applauding this. In their hearts they know how craven he is, but once again they want to believe. I always said this should be the campaign poster for Obama:
* Meanwhile, we got the back-patters like Shep Smith telling us how the issue is already decided and anyone against gay marriage is on “the wrong side of history.” Do they really think this gay marriage issue is going to end Christianity? The Bible seems to have a pretty clear definition of marriage straight from Jesus, so I don’t really see this going away. It may be like sex before marriage where society has decided its okay and most people ignore Christian morality on it, but the opposition will never end. “We’re really modern and we all believe this now” is not a sound theological argument that lasts.
* In non gay marriage, the economy is still crumbling and many people are still thinking of reelecting the incompetent boob who has been presiding over it.
* Wisdom of the Day from Jon Henke:
This is, what, the umpteenth consecutive news cycle that’s not about Obama’s record and the economy? This is how Democrats will win.
America’s views on president Obama are evolving.
Intelligent design explains Obama’s positions much better than unguided evolution.
What great timing on Obama coming out for same-sex marriage with this big vote coming up for North Carolina!
Doesn’t Obama’s new views conflict with the teachings of his pastor Jeremiah Wright who says that gay marriage was invented by the CIA?
Obama can be a leader if you browbeat him and tell him what to do.
If only Obama’s donors would pressure him on the deficit.
HEADLINE: “President Likes Donor Money”
And now people will have to explain the president’s new position to their children. “Mommy, what’s ‘craven’ mean?”
This whole episode has made Biden look like an idiot savant instead of just the usual idiot.
Forget it, people. We’re never going to talk about the important issues in this country. They’re either too boring or too scary.
For people who think that one day gay marriage will be uncontroversial to all, I don’t think the Bible has evolved.
So which is more surprising: That Obama came out for gay marriage or for federalism?
I’ve received the copyedited ms of my next book to review. Just another day in the life of an IMPORTANT WRITER.
BTW, “ms” stands for “manuscript.” That’s IMPORTANT WRITER lingo.
I evolved. My views on gay marriage remained the same, but now I shoot lasers out my eyes.
Meghan McCain is entertaining.
Meghan McCain is the future of the Republican Party. She’s Nova.
You know your joke may be too obscure if you had to google the reference yourself.
“The Plan to Keep America Awesome” is not the final title for my next book. It’s “How to Fix Everything in America Forever.”
This whole day Biden has been playing in a sandbox, unaware of events.
I ENJOY USING CAPS LOCK AND EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!
To do before jury duty: Get a t-shirt that says “Jury Nullification.”
