Seanmahair [High Praise!] emails:
According to Newsweek, Obama’s an angel. So was Lucifer, the “Son of the Morning Star”. I see the resemblance.
Archive of entries posted on 14th May 2012
Breaking Scandal: Obama Muppet Used in Reno Appearance
By now you’ve seen the picture of Obama in Reno, giving a speech with only two people standing nearby (strangely, neither of them wearing prop white lab coats).
Mostly people are making fun of him for having a tiny audience, but they’re missing the real scandal here:
The “Obama” in the picture is clearly a muppet.
First, his “feet” are hidden by a blocking-screen that obviously serves to hide the muppeteers from the view of the audience. And to hide the fact that – like most muppets – “Obama” has no feet.
Second, you can clearly see the control rods the hidden muppeteers are using to move his arms.
Also, is it just a “coincidence” that the man on the right bears a striking resemblance to the “late” Jim Henson?
There are questions in need of answering here, which I’m betting the liberal toadies in the mainstream media haven’t the guts to ask.
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UPDATE: Linked at The Hostages
Link of the Day: You Can’t Miss This Life of Julia Parody
Ok, *I* missed it, until recently. Why didn’t anyone tell me Iowahawk was on the case?:
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Obama Hires “Hooker-Proof” Secret Service Agents
RENO (AP) – During a campaign stop in Reno, Nevada, President Obama announced that from now on, the Secret Service would only hire sexless, elderly couples to protect the President. The move comes in response a recent scandal involving young, stud-muffinly, male Secret Service agents paying women for sex during a Presidential visit to Colombia.
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The latest hires, Fred and Ethel Mertz of Reno, Nevada, have been married for 45 years, and last engaged in an act of physical intimacy in 1990.
“Well,” said Fred, “the ol’ Johnson stopped working after the heart attack, and the doc says my ticker ain’t strong enough to handle the blue pills. But it’s been so long I don’t really miss it, anyway. But on the bright side, my complete lack of libido allows me to fully concentrate on protecting the Commander-in-Chief from wild-eyed crazies what mean to do him harm.”
“I’ll jump in front of the man to take a bullet, although it might take me a bit to get there. Too many years of too much pasta,” said Fred with a grin, affectionately rubbing his paunch.
“Honestly, I never much cared for bedroom antics anyway,” said Ethel, “and I was actually relieved when Fred stopped pestering me. I’ve got my knitting to keep me busy, and if anyone so much as looks at the President wrong, I’ll jab both needles straight into his peepers.”
“Assuming he doesn’t run away,” added Ethel thoughtfully. “My hip pains me some on damp days, and I’m not as spry as I used to be.”
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UPDATE: Linked by The Jawa Report
Dozens of Lawyers Held in Cages!
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #281,564)
Sadly, just a parody of those HSUS heartstring-tugger commercials, but the video’s message can’t be emphasized enough:
If you love animals, give money to your local shelter, and NEVER even the thinnest of dimes to the Humane Society of the United States.
“PETA, with suits and deodorant.”
Nuke the News: Obama Is Now Gay
* I have a new New York Post column! I worry that our country’s problems are just too boring to focus on and muse about what kind of warlord I’ll bee.
I mean, most of these are the same problems we had back in the ’70s. No one solved them then, because they were distracted by the president being a bitten by a rabbit.
Read it. Discuss it. Like it on Facebook.
Apparently Newsweek and Time are in competition for most insane cover story, but I still don’t know if that justifies hiring the mentally unbalanced, Palin womb-obsessed Andrew Sullivan. It might be possible that Obama could carefully play his gay marriage support in a way that won’t hurt him, but his idiotic supporters will make that hard.
And maybe Newsweek should fully embrace it’s new freak show vibe and instead of charging $4 an issue they should charge a nickel a gander.
* Obama has a new attack ad on all the layoffs at Bain… that happened after Romney left the company. So if I can get this straight, Romney is responsible for job losses when he no longer worked at a business, but Obama isn’t responsible for job losses while he is actually president?
Why are we even considering reelecting Obama when he this objectively bad at his job. It makes a mockery of the whole point of having elections. Only dictatorships are supposed to be stuck with the same awful leader no matter how badly he performs.
* The co-founder of Facebook has renounced his American citizenship to save on taxes before the IPO. It’s pretty bad when taxes chase people away from being citizens. I don’t know if I could ever renounce my citizenship, even if it was to avoid absurd taxes. Well, maybe I could lose my citizenship to dodge the taxes and then I’d sneak in illegally.
* Wisdom of the Day from Dan McLaughlin:
Real talk: Obama has done nothing that would warrant impeaching him, trying him for treason, or re-electing him.
Random Thoughts: Bully Hat
This evolution happens when you apply the Rainbow Stone.
I tried to be a bully in school but no one took me seriously despite the awesome bully hat I made myself.
The last Community was kind of mediocre for them. I give it a 9.5 out of 10.
Genius million-dollar idea: Make it so you can punch radio ads.
Read my copyedited manuscript. Hope everyone finds the book funny. When you read your own joke for the 10th time, it loses its impact.
New T-Shirt: No Hippies
Don’t know why we didn’t have one of these years ago:
Poor baby! THE MAN is harshing his mellow!
Now available at the IMAO store.
Additionally, I recently realized that CafePress DOES offer a “print on the back option”, so I added some back-printed t-shirts to the Moon Nukers section (first 9 items).