[High Praise! to Hunter]
Hunter has settled in to his own blog now, Atomic Monkey Action Squad, and as his blogwarming gift to you, offers:
The Zombie Apocalypse is the Best Case Scenario
He makes a pretty convincing argument. I know I’D never want to live on a planet full of sparkly vampires.
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
I’m seriously ready for some Zombie kill’en. I tried to talk my sweet spouse into putting a turret on the roof but he wouldn’t go for it. I haven’t given up yet, I tenacious.
The best case scenario for me is a 48′ flush-deck ketch. 🙂
I have to say, though, that Hunter seems pretty confident of surviving the Zombie Apocalypse with his Atomic Monkey Squad. I’m not sure they’re effective against the current Barackalypse, however.
(Do they throw radioactive poo? I wonder what Scary Evil Monkey thinks of this new unkt.)
I hope not. Radioactive poo would take far too long to kill a zombie, or even a normal living being for that matter. No monkey, not even an atomic one, could produce the 5+ Gy (or 500 Rem) poo required to cause acute radiation poisoning once flung at an enemy and live to tell about it. No, these atomic monkeys are far more sophisticated I think. They throw atomic BOMB poo, with lasers.
Why lasers you ask? That is such a silly question. Because they are lasers, and as we all know, lasers make things better. If you went to a store and saw a carton of milk, and a carton of milk with lasers, which would you buy? Laser milk of course.
When I read the title of this post, “Why a Zombie Apocalypse is the Best Case Scenario” I thought you meant the best we could hope for in our current state of financial, political and social collapse.
And the idea appealed to me.
Trillions in debt?
Who cares about who owes what to who when there are Zombies in the street?
Partisan gridlock?
Forget your petty bickering, we can all agree that there’s Zombies that need killin’!
Racial divisions?
All you white, black, brown, red and yellow people help me fight off these gray, brain-eating people!
Then I actually read the link and it’s about something very different. (but still funny)
(Emily Litella voice) Never mind!
I was thinking of the effect of radioactive poo on The One, Keln. If your special atomic poo were flung with laser assist, do you think it would find its mark and slow-down the incompetent, dog-eating bööb who’s wrecking our economy, stealing our money, embarrassing our troupes and shredding our Constitution?
Can zombies vote?
I know, their picture ID may be off a bit. And 100 years old. But they’re still alive? Or at least not dead? I really don’t know much about all this. Can I shoot them if they try to vote? Do they want to vote? Would opening a fake polling place attract them? How would a zombie vote? Pro life? Pro death panel? What about gay marriage? Zombie / human marriage? (how long would that last?). Is there a zombie election year movie in the making? Do they get minority status? What % zombie do you need to be? More than you need to claim Cherokee? Now I’m just rambling. this is all confusing to me.