* The CIA stopped another underwear bomb plot, this one originating in Yemen. Obama released a statement saying, “I made the gutsy call that the CIA should stop bomb plots, so I basically I stopped the bomb myself.”
Notice how terrorists are still pretty stuck on the whole “blow up an airplane” thing? There are so many things to blow up, yet that always seems to be most of their focus. They’re just not very original thinkers… luckily.
* Some woman said that Obama should be tried for treason, and Romney didn’t say anything. Because of that, Obama has been arrested for treason and now sits in a cell awaiting execution. Way to not show leadership, Romney!
Yeah, the Democrats are trying to make a big issue out of this. They didn’t care when all sorts of awful things were said about Bush and there were plenty of assassination fantasies out there, but now we’re supposed to believe they actually care about this sort of stuff. I’m tired of pointing out all these double standards though — you could do it all day. I just go with this general rule: Whenever the left act like they really care about something, it’s just partisan BS. Always. There is absolutely nothing out there where if you switched the parties they would still care about it. Rape (Bill Clinton), Murder (Ted Kennedy) — nothing. If a liberal is acting like he really cares about something, he is being disingenuous. Only trust liberal hipsters who never act like they care about anything.
* It’s pretty much a bipartisan agreement that Obama is a disingenuous creep on the gay marriage issue, right? I mean, no one actually believes his incoherent “I’m against gay marriage… sorta… but evolving” dribble, correct? I mean, if we find anyone that dumb to believe Obama on this, that person should be publicly shamed as an imbecile. Everyone should agree with that.
So what’s Obama going to do if he gets reelected? Of course, that’s the question on everything. And the answer: Not much. Especially if Republicans keep the House and gain the Senate as most are predicting.
* Wisdom of the Day from Brian Cates:
We’re constantly told about capitalism’s failures but never about socialism’s awesome successes.
* I’m pretty sure scientists hate dinosaurs now. They seem to be doing everything they can to ruin everything that made dinosaurs cool when I was a kid. First, they changed the term “dinosaur” to now include birds. If a sparrow is a dinosaur, that significantly cheapens the term. And then scientists started putting feathers on pretty much all the dinosaurs — even the T Rex. Finally, they’ve taken away the awesome “dinosaurs were killed by a meteor story” and replaced it with “dinosaurs farted themselves to death.” So what were once giant terrible lizards are now just farting Big Birds. Thanks, scientists. Do you want to take away anymore planets while you’re at it? Why don’t you just team up with Michael Bay and completely finish off my childhood.
Just remember, a 5% methane-air mixture is explosive. Stay away from large, flatulating creatures of any type, particularly liberal a$$holes.
So…Big Bird was a dinosaur? That makes sense. Remember how he always used to bend waaayyyy over when he talked with anyone? He was ventilating his squeak-hole.
Does this mean that based on Barney Frank that gays are endangered?
“Notice how terrorists are still pretty stuck on the whole “blow up an airplane” thing?”
Yes, and sticking things in their underpants.
An American war hero dies in fierce combat with an enemy combatant. A Muslim war hero dies by sticking things in his underpants…umm, doesn’t quite have the same zip to it, does it.
Now I’m thinking of the T Rex from “Jurassic Park” in a yellow boa singing “Ab-cadef-ghee-jeckle-monop-qurr-stew-ixizzzz!” Thanks. There goes my Tuesday.
I must confess, a dinosaur running around with flames shooting out it’s butt would look pretty fearsome. Probably where the concept of flight originated.
John Kerry was for Obama’s ambivalence on gay marriage before Obama was so ambiguous about his stance.
Dino#1: (Pffffffft.)
Dino#2: “Was that you?” (Uuuuuuuuuuuuf)
Dino#1: “Oh, hell no.” (Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiffffst)
Dino#2: (Pffffffffffft woooooooooooooo booooom.)
Dino#1: “Please stop, you’re killing me.” (Aaaaahoooopppgffft.)
Dino#2: “You stop.” (Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrippppppp.)
Dino#1: “It’s getting hot.” (Pffffffsssst.)
Dino#2: “You’re not helping matters.” (Woooooot.)
Dino#1: “Someone make it stop.” (Phlaaaaaaaaaaaam kaaaaaabooooooom!)
Dino#2: “We’re dead.”
Small Bird: “Oh thank God.”
Some folks just don’t know how to think outside the mosque.
Maybe if terrorists had anything inside their underwear to be proud of, they wouldn’t be sticking explosives in there all the time.
**So what’s Obama going to do if he gets reelected?**
You would have to ask the Russian foreign minister who was with BO during the “open mike” incident. (For clarification, that’s BO who ate dog, not BO who is dog)
So “dinosaurs farted themselves to death”?
I believe it. I thought I was going to, once. I had some kind of intestinal ailment, and you would not BELIEVE the detonations.
So…last night I got into a debate about whether glass is a solid or liquid. (Yes, my life is action-packed.) Anyway, an appeal to Google failed because even smarty-pants scientists don’t know. Glass didn’t disappear 10.8 million years ago. We’ve got more than a little of it, but science just doesn’t know. But give a scientist an old bone, and he’ll tell you that it came from a giant warm-blooded reptile that either had fur or feathers and that unfortunately farted himself to death.
Has anyone else noticed that if Science! cannot find fossil linkages to modern animals, then they’ll just advance dinosaurs along until they are modern animals?
If we were still awarding FTW’s, I’d award it to #8 Les. Just sayin’.
Yeah, I thought I was clever, but then I see that at least 4800 others thought of the same phrase.
In something of a reverse coincidence, the next animation I’m working on is titled “WTF,” yet it should be SFW.
I would like to apologize for #7. It was too long-winded.
If we try o for treason, we’ll have to arrest most of his cabinet, all of his czars, about half of the House and Senate, 80% of the media, about 75% of the college professors, and at least a third of the Federal bureaucracy as well.
And I’m OK with that.
(Good thing Romney says he’d expand Gitmo if he had to, ’cause he’d have to.)
Thanks, Jimmy, for your Dino dialogue.
My husband was laughing so hard at your fart noises that he started crying and is still engaging in spontaneous giggling. Men.
Of all the liberals I distrust…I distrust liberal hipsters the most.
You forgot that scientists hate dinosaurs so much they deleted the brontosaurus.
Seriously, there’s no such a thing as a brontosaurus anymore.
Although they’d probably be happy about that as they wouldn’t want it known that they had feathers and farted themselves to death.
Firefox Fun Fact: Firefox still doesn’t recognize Obama but does recognize brontosaurus.
That’s pretty darn funny.