Random Thoughts: The Secret of My Success

To complete the satire, shouldn’t Mel Brooks release a special edition of Spaceballs with unnecessary additions?

The more people stop looking for work, the more unemployment drops and the better things appear. Despair is Obama’s ally much more than hope.

Fonzie was apolitical.

Here’s the secret to my success: Just before I was born, I hit up up down down left right left right B A start.

So, internet, what’s happening today?

I don’t get the point of horse racing. They’ll never beat a motorcar.

Now, if they trained horses to drive motorcars, that would be quite the race.

I once drove a motorcar. I got it to quite a mighty speed before it caught fire. Then I wished I had a horse.

The more successful comic book movies we have the more likely we’ll finally get Aquaman on the big screen.

It will probably be a darker, grittier Aquaman. The Wet Knight.

The traditional Cinco de Mayo drink is one part tequila to five parts mayonnaise.

Being part of the Justice League is much better than the Avengers because you just sit around all day while Superman does all the work.

For a change of pace, I’m writing a screenplay about a some-nonsense cop who’s a little sketchy about the rules.

Game of Thrones is just a ripoff of those Capital One commercials with the Vikings.

Why do we still have courtroom artists? The legal system is aware of this thing called “a camera,” right?

I’ve always said the problem with France is it’s not socialist enough.

Wow. Over the weekend, the Avengers grossed 0.001% our national debt.

So is austerity just a fancy word for “doing what’s necessary”?

And who is all the money owed to since every single country is deep in debt?

If I had to guess what Samuel L. Jackson programmed his Siri to call him, it wouldn’t have been “Sam.”

With 13% unemployment for blacks but over 90% support for Obama, when do we get the book “What’s the Matter with Harlem”?

8 Comments

  1. That’s where you’re wrong, Internet’s Frank; Fonzie was an Eisenhower supporter. It’s true! In an early ep, Richie is campaigning for Adlai Stevenson (showing himself to be the politically-idiot Democrat he would prove to be in real life) but at a rally the Fonz declares that not only does he like Ike, but that even his bike likes Ike. (Although Winkler in real life is also a politically-idiot Democrat.)

    And ROCKquaman is the Dark Wet Knight — 200 meters under the water you can’t see a damn thing.

  2. The legal system is aware of this thing called “a camera,” right?

    Right. But, in our legal system, “camera” has the meaning “closed room”. I didn’t learn this in law school (the only important thing that I learned in law
    school was that I did not, under any circumstances, want to be a lawyer, no matter how well it paid); I learned it by taking four years of Latin in high school.

  3. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » Hollywood Green Lights “Aquaman: The Wet Knight”

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