I had a lot of fun with that “why did Obama cross the road?” line, and judging by the number of comments, you did, too.
Don’t know if this’ll work well enough to keep it a regular feature, but we’ll give it a try.
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
If it becomes boring & stupid, or nobody wants to play along any more, or if I run out of good setups, I’ll stop it, but let’s see how it goes for now:
How many members of the Obama administration does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Five – but it only costs $20 million and they all count as “green jobs”.
They don’t screw with light bulbs because they’re all over their heads – and their pay grades.
Now, let me be clear, we inherited these light bulbs from the previous administration, and I extended their life.
None; that would lead to pissing matches between AFSCME and SEIU.
Okay, that wasn’t fair. It depends on who supervises. If it’s Joe Biden, it’s a big friggen deal and takes quite a few.
None – they’re completely in the dark and don’t even realize it.
Two: one to secretly deliver the light bulbs to the Mexican drug cartels and the other to deny ever having done it. Wait, I’m wrong. It only takes one to do both of those things.
“That’s Racist!”
None, but we will have 800,000 undocumented (you can’t trace them) non-workers (we don’t pay them enough), standing by, ready to change any light bulb that needs changing. Uhhhh, except those fluorescenty things ’cause they are to dangerous. Oh, and they will be armed.
The light bulb can’t be screwed in because of the obstructionist Republican Congress.
Yeah, DamnCat’s right. The Republicans haven’t ‘lifted a finger’ to help provide screwing jobs!
Your preference for a bright, white light bulb over a dim grey one is a clear display of racism.
ONE.
This is a trick question, light bulbs are illegal!! Nice try.
“Your comment is awaiting moderation”?? WHAT kind of website is this? I don’t recall any notice that my comment(s) would be “moderated”…
MODERATE THIS…
If the light bulb screwing jobs aren’t shovel ready, they’re not interested.
And it’s Bush’s fault since the light bulb burnt out during his administration!
Richard – sorry, our spam filter is a slow learner.
Richard, you mean ‘The ONE.”
But he’s left-handed so he turns it the wrong way, it falls out, breaks and the mercury vapor causes an evacuation of the White House.
Three: One to screw in the light bulb; one to issue a press release bragging about the screwing in of the lightbulb; and one to deny screwing in the lightbulb.
That information is classified – EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE!
It only takes one to actually screw the light bulb in, but it takes a hazmat team to dispose of the old CFL bulb.
The job is too technical to accomplish right away since the light bulbs will be connected to the Internet and require FCC, DHS, DOD, DOC, EPA and Al Gore’s clearance to be on their network.
Well we started screwing it in but we need four more years to finish the job because of the obstructionist Republicans.
What are you talking about? That old lightbulb is “doing fine”.
Two, Obama to hold the lightbulb, and Carney provides the spin.
Four: one to screw it in, one Secret Service agent to watch him, and two more Secret Service agents to round up the booze and hookers.
25. Charon
FTW!
We may never know, their all focused like a Laser on Screw’in America!
Democrats change light bulbs? Pfssst.
They’re too busy squandering our money.
Seventy-Three. Because GREEN JOBS!!!!!!!!
Three! One to actually do the lightbulb screwing, and one to obscure the issue.
You’re implying that there is an inherent difference between light and dark, and that’s racist! (Yeah, I know, it’s been done…)
It is running about $90 Million of stimulus money per lightbulb screwing job (which actually pays around $23K/year), but frankly, it is a moot point to the hordes across the nation who are going “off the grid” as quickly as they can.
Well…
Whether they choose to screw in the lightbulb (not sure how they got in there!) or elsewhere, like, say, on network television, either way it’s protected speech. Particularly if those doing the screwing happen to be homosexual. And if it’s in the oval office and with an intern, that depends on the definition of “is.”
Don’t you miss the Reagan days when we kept our screwing to ourselves?
Unless one of them is in the IBEW, they’re not allowed to screw in light bulbs.
Two: one to change the bulb, but first an electrician to install sockets accessible to all types of bulbs, as well as AC and DC current.
BEST ONE !!!
None! No one in the Obama administration has the testicles to screw in anything, much less a light bulb. The screwing in lightbulb will have to wait until January of 2013, when a new administration takes over and the lack of testicles is rectified.
It doesn’t matter how many. What counts is that the light bulb wants to be screwed-in – and can receive a free abortion if something goes wrong (with optional counseling, of course).
Aye but Jimmy, there won’t be any screwin’ o the light bulbs as everybody knows that owsocrats only practice safe socketz!
But seriously folks, Charon FTW indeed!
The economic policies that I’ve put in place have created or saved millions of bulb-screwing jobs. And by bulb, I mean America. Do I have any dog in my teeth?
It takes two. One to assure the public that it was the Bush administration and the Republicans who burnt out the old bulb and the second one to screw the new bulb into a faucet.
Aye, but perhaps ’tis better to delay the High Praise from Harvey, Timmy, and keep this fun goin’ a wee bit longer.
Two. But nobody can figure out how they got in there.
Trick question. Changing the light bulb would make sense and improve living conditions, so this administration would never do it.
Forty-five comments!! I think you may have a hit on your hands……..z
Oh…and by the way, I haven’t got a clue as to how many Democrats it would take to screw in a light bulb, but I’m sure the Democrats would never use a term like ‘screw’…too sexist.
zzyzx – Nah, liberals would just say “F***” because it’s “edgier” to violate cultural norms of decency and good taste.
I’m not sure that counts since neither Bill Clinton nor his yoga instructor officially work in the Obama administration.
The correct answer is NONE!
Since the coal industry is being taxed and over-regulated into an impossible industry, lightbulbs on BO’s watch must go the way of the
Fast and Furious guns (South).
Houses will be brightened by filling plastic, liter sized soft drink bottles with chlorine and plugged into drilled holes in the roof.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBWi3NtND68
The “new” solar powered lights will get warm enough in winter to keep chickens in the house too! A little glitter and you have a Disco Ball!
(Until they ban plastic bottles or chlorine or liter sized soft drinks et al…)
Travelwise – all kidding aside, I give kudos to the guy who thought up that plastic-bottle-water-light. It’s a godsend to those without electricity or financial means.
The liberal bible states that whomever changeth the light bulb shall holdeth a union card so no one with brains enough to change one alone is allowed to. So the answer is as many as possible. Michael Bloomberg once screwed in a light bulb, but he’s a short little feller. Barny Frank knows how many gerbils it takes to screw out a light bulb.
I got an awesome punchline playing on the other definition of “screw” but nobody wants to hear an Anthony Weiner joke one year later
Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!