Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to A California School Is Holding a Toy Gun Buyback. You Should Also Turn In…
Click here to see if you made the cut.
If you did, you should probably email Keln about becoming a guest blogger there.
If you didn’t, Anonymiss has got another straight line for you to practice on.
Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.
THIS is the proper response to the soft bigotry of liberal racism:
[YouTube direct link] (Viewer #4,914,229)
Oh, and for the record, I was gonna guess “Japanese”.
Anyway, if you ARE going to do this to me, use this as your model.
[High Praise! to According to Hoyt]
So I am IN GENERAL prejudiced against the whining of upper class American females who are dead-set on their own victimhood… When I see one of them – ONE OF THE WHINERS – break a nail over their sisters who are treated like chattel and worse under Islam, I will consider that they might be concerned with the welfare of women and not with getting more benes for their own pampered selves.
[High Praise! to Nuking Politics]
Computer Virus Alert: Obamavirus
[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]
Did you miss me? I didn’t think so. Been trapped in DC at an FDA conference. Seemed like years, but I’m pretty sure it was only a week. But the two major items of interest from the conference are first, of course, because of current interpretations of regulations by bureaucrats, drugs will be more difficult to bring to market and they will necessarily be more expensive without adding any real value in the process. No surprise there. Been trending that way for years.
But here is the part that I thought was interesting. As I sat at the conference, I was struck by the lack of diversity among the attendees and the FDA presenters. Among the presenters, there were only white folks, and among the attendees there were just us honkies and a smattering of Asians and Indians. The only black people to be seen were the ones serving us meals. I was shocked to discover in Obama’s post racial America, attending a government sponsored conference was like going back to the plantation. Clearly something must be done to bring diversity both to the FDA and the pharmaceutical industry. This sounds like a job for government. Here is what I am proposing to Senator Hatch.
Any other ideas?
It really seems like Microsoft has miscalculated with their next gen. They want a hundred bucks more than the PS4, but you don’t get better graphics (the PS4 actually has the faster RAM) or more hard drive for that. You get like a camera that watches you at all times. And you get Microsoft’s DRM which means you only sort of own your games as you can’t sell them or even lend them to friends. And what’s with how you have to pay a monthly fee to Microsoft to be able to watch Netflix on your XBox, i.e., I have to pay a monthly fee to be able to use my internet I already pay for to use my Netflix service I already pay for on the XBox I already paid for. What am I paying Microsoft to do in this exchange? Seems like it’s more like extortion than a service.
Anyway, I’ve never owned a Playstation or an XBox. I’ve been a Nintendo loyalist and have owned every Nintendo home console. But this time I have no desire to get the Wii U. I mean, they couldn’t even get it powerful enough to match what’s soon going to be known as the “previous gen.” Nintendo makes a lot of fun, exclusive games, but sometimes I want those third party games, but third parties don’t always want to make a neutered, under-powered version of their game for Nintendo’s lagging hardware. I’m really starting to wish Nintendo gave up on the hardware and just made their awesome games for other systems.
So, anyway, with no plans to get the Wii U (well, maybe when it’s discounted and there is a new Zelda for it), I was thinking of finally getting XBox — as XBox seemed to have the better exclusive games versus the Playstation. But now I’m thinking Playstation after E3. They won me over.
Or maybe I should just save the money and get a new gaming laptop. I assume the game companies now targeting the next gen hardware will cause me to finally need to upgrade my computer to keep up. But even though a PC costs more, gaming wise it still seems the better deal with all the $2.50 games I can get off Steam when they’re on sale versus paying $60 (or more) for new games for consoles. I mean, I already have a huge backlog of games on Steam I haven’t even started yet (being a parent leave little time for gaming; can’t wait until the kids are hold enough to play FPSs with me and we can call that quality time).
So, what say the gamers out there?
We need to steer clear of this poverty of ambition, where people want to drive fancy cars and wear nice clothes and live in nice apartments but don’t want to work hard to accomplish these things. Everyone should try to realize their full potential.
BARACK OBAMA, Daily Southtown, Feb. 19, 2005
“I will make it so that the ambitious HAVE to work hard – just to pay all my new taxes.”
Crowder explores how union rules would affect Superman:
I always felt like the other superheroes would like something like this since basically Superman has all their powers combined (well, he can’t talk to fish). I always just imagined when the Flash told Superman his power to run fast, Superman has to do his best to act impressed.
Still, in a fight, my money is on Batman. Because he’s Batman.
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
A Democrat started speaking Spanish on the Senate floor. He said…
So a bunch of Democrat representatives lived off food stamps for a week. I don’t know what I’m supposed to get out of this; that it’s really hard living off of just ABSOLUTELY FREE FOOD. Oh, I’m so sorry these people think that their ABSOLUTELY FREE FOOD isn’t quite adequate. Just $31.50 a week? Do you know there are countries where a family of five would love to earn that a month? But you didn’t earn it. You got it… FOR FREE.
That’s the thing about this country: You can have no job and no income here and still not have any real problems. We’re reduced to critiquing how it’s somewhat difficult to live on ABSOLUTELY FREE FOOD. Well, I object to this stunt; I don’t want any of my tax money going towards keeping politicians from starving.
Anyway, I think Iowahawk summed this up best:
You know what's harder than living off $32/week in free SNAP food? Having a job.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) June 14, 2013
Ooh! I’ve been invited to join Facebook! Finally!
The Supreme Court ruled that human jeans can’t be patented — which is bad news for Levis… except for their cat pants division.
It does seem like Nintendo would really kill it if they just concentrated on making fun games and let others do the hardware.
Why wouldn’t someone want to admit that the moral difference between the abortions she supports and what Gosnell was convicted for is arbitrary?
Fun Fact: Joe Biden was twiced hustled out of all of his savings by a tic-tac-toe-playing chicken.
Leonardo da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man was supposed to be a representation of the ideal man, but today I’d assume he’d just draw Batman.
On page 37 of your EULA you consented to the NSA reading all your emails.
WILL EVERYONE STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW THEY WANT EVERYONE TO STOP TALKING ABOUT SARAH PALIN!
Kids’ music today is horrible. It’s all “wub wub” and people laugh at me when I dance to it but I can’t stop myself.
Marco Rubio? More like Marco “What a Boob”-io.
So is infanticide one of those things Christians have to get over like homosexuality?
Frankly, I don’t get why we don’t assassinate all the leaders in the Middle East.
The Bush presidency demonstrates that Americans don’t like too much war, but we get antsy if we have too little.
How about no wars for a while, we have a big training montages, and then we take on the whole world.
I’m tired of not being able to carry a gun in Europe. We could solve that by conquering Europe.
I’ve never actually been to Europe (can’t carry a gun there).
As bad as things have gotten in this country, we’re still not to the point of having actual problems.
For these arming rebels situations, we need to add gun safeties where the trigger can only be pulled if it’s pointed at a foreigner.
I should kickstarter that.
“Founding Founders”? Is that a new gender neutrality idiocy?
Glad Obama found the papers of the Founding Founders that details all their foundering.
Would “Founding Parents” be slightly less idiotic?
Again, I’m assuming this is about making a gender neutral term. It could just be regular old, agenda-less idiocy.
One of the most baffling things about modern Sesame Street is how ubiquitous Telly Monster is. He’s to the show what Wolverine is to Marvel.
I mean, I kinda get Elmo’s popularity, but Telly Monster existed back when I was a small child, and he was completely forgettable.
I guess nowadays kids love worrywarts who are obsessed with triangles. Just not how we rolled in the early 80s.
I’d like some more Arrested Development, please.
Remember the opening line of the Declaration of Founding: “We Founding Founders find these found thing to be self-finding.”
Remember when you could tell from screenshots whether you were looking at a next-gen game or not?
But who finds the Founding Founders?
“And I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for those meddling meddlers!” -King George slurring the Founding Founders
If the Founding Founders had worked hard to secure right for all, then maybe this country wouldn’t have been torn apart by the Warring War.
I wish we had a presidenting president.
So was Founding Founders a mistake, or did the the White House just not like getting made fun of by tweeting tweeters?
A soldier serving today in the U.S. Army.
In addition to today being Flag Day, there’s another anniversary today. It’s the anniversary of the founding of the Continental Army, which was the United States Army before there was a United States.
238 years ago, on June 14, 1775, the Continental Army was formed. That rag-tag group of citizen soldiers beat the odds and the British, and the United States of America was the result.
Some of us at IMAO had the privilege to serve our country in uniform, in different branches of the service.
Some of you reading this had the same privilege. We thank you all.
Today, we especially recognize and thank those that served in our first branch of the military, the United States Army.
