Random Thoughts: War, Founding Founders, and Telly Monster

Ooh! I’ve been invited to join Facebook! Finally!

The Supreme Court ruled that human jeans can’t be patented — which is bad news for Levis… except for their cat pants division.

It does seem like Nintendo would really kill it if they just concentrated on making fun games and let others do the hardware.

Why wouldn’t someone want to admit that the moral difference between the abortions she supports and what Gosnell was convicted for is arbitrary?

Fun Fact: Joe Biden was twiced hustled out of all of his savings by a tic-tac-toe-playing chicken.

Leonardo da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man was supposed to be a representation of the ideal man, but today I’d assume he’d just draw Batman.

On page 37 of your EULA you consented to the NSA reading all your emails.

WILL EVERYONE STOP TALKING ABOUT HOW THEY WANT EVERYONE TO STOP TALKING ABOUT SARAH PALIN!

Kids’ music today is horrible. It’s all “wub wub” and people laugh at me when I dance to it but I can’t stop myself.

Marco Rubio? More like Marco “What a Boob”-io.

So is infanticide one of those things Christians have to get over like homosexuality?

Frankly, I don’t get why we don’t assassinate all the leaders in the Middle East.

The Bush presidency demonstrates that Americans don’t like too much war, but we get antsy if we have too little.

How about no wars for a while, we have a big training montages, and then we take on the whole world.

I’m tired of not being able to carry a gun in Europe. We could solve that by conquering Europe.

I’ve never actually been to Europe (can’t carry a gun there).

As bad as things have gotten in this country, we’re still not to the point of having actual problems.

For these arming rebels situations, we need to add gun safeties where the trigger can only be pulled if it’s pointed at a foreigner.

I should kickstarter that.

“Founding Founders”? Is that a new gender neutrality idiocy?

Glad Obama found the papers of the Founding Founders that details all their foundering.

Would “Founding Parents” be slightly less idiotic?

Again, I’m assuming this is about making a gender neutral term. It could just be regular old, agenda-less idiocy.

One of the most baffling things about modern Sesame Street is how ubiquitous Telly Monster is. He’s to the show what Wolverine is to Marvel.

I mean, I kinda get Elmo’s popularity, but Telly Monster existed back when I was a small child, and he was completely forgettable.

I guess nowadays kids love worrywarts who are obsessed with triangles. Just not how we rolled in the early 80s.

I’d like some more Arrested Development, please.

Remember the opening line of the Declaration of Founding: “We Founding Founders find these found thing to be self-finding.”

Remember when you could tell from screenshots whether you were looking at a next-gen game or not?

But who finds the Founding Founders?

“And I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for those meddling meddlers!” -King George slurring the Founding Founders

If the Founding Founders had worked hard to secure right for all, then maybe this country wouldn’t have been torn apart by the Warring War.

I wish we had a presidenting president.

So was Founding Founders a mistake, or did the the White House just not like getting made fun of by tweeting tweeters?

14 Comments

  1. In my youth, ‘Founder” was a verb for overeating… When the cows got into the fresh alfalfa, they would founder and become bloated. Once we had to call a Vet and he punctured the cow’s stomach to relieve the gas pressure. Yes, bloating can kill a ruminant. It was just too hard to feed them alka seltzer.

  2. So why can’t we just start rounding up illegal felons and sending them back to their country of birth? Mexico does it. Drops them right at the border. It can’t take much more money then paying for their food stamps, their welfare, education and caring (medically) for them an their families. Just askin’.

  3. It does seem like Nintendo would really kill it if they just concentrated on making fun games and let others do the hardware.

    Nintendo can’t hear you over the sound of how much money they are printing.

  4. what is with all this founding? why are you discriminating against the losting? you can’t have found without lost! break the glass ceiling! racist! sexist! homophobe! speciesist!

    did someone say that there would be sammiches?

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