I must hand it to Frank J. He’s warned us about robots in the past. He’s also warned us about monkeys for years.
But now, we have a whole new worry. Yes, some mad scientists at the German Research Center for Artificial Intelligence have combined robots and monkeys. They’ve invented a robot ape.
Why?
I don’t know.
Of all the things that have happened in this world when you get a bunch of German scientists together, the only thing I can think of that’s been, well, not scary as hell, was when they put Americans on the moon. Other than that, I’m not thinking German scientists have a good track record.
Maybe we can help the Germans out. They’re smart people; they just need a little guidance.
What’s a good use for a giant German robot ape? Besides climbing a skyscraper with Robot Fay Wray, that is. I mean, there’s got to be a use for one, right? Otherwise, the why would the Germans have built one?
What do you think? What are the Germans up to? And how can we use a giant German robot ape to benefit mankind?
UPDATE (from Harvey): Springeraz [High Praise!] may have discovered the correct answer.
Well the can finally let Michelle take a permanent vacation.
This is an inter-species brush-back pitch to keep real monkeys from getting uppity and going all Planet of the Apes on us.
Transportation Safety Apeministration.
If the Germans were smart, they would build a robot monkey with a prehensile tail and ball joints in the hips so it can turn. Then, I might be worried.
Serves as anti-Gigantic Japanese Monster Invasion.
To counter the growing menace of investigative journalism: Ape-y reporters.
It was originally supposed to be a life size replica of Angela Merkel. But they needed to scale it down so the Russians didn’t get nervous.
A giant robot ape has only one purpose: To help sasquatch wrestle a banana away from barry.
“Ve hav vays of making you tech.”
Program them to punch hippies!
Is it just a coincidence this happened right after Frank took off?
What is the chemical / mechanical composition of robot ape poo? And how do you keep them happy so they don’t fling said poo? Some questions must be explored before society can be allowed to be exposed to technologies dark side!
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