“If you like your climate, you can keep it.” -future broken promise from Obama’s plans to handle climate change

BREAKING: Janet Napolitano has resigned in disgrace after an unprepared west coast was hit with a sharknado.

MSNBC understands we’re laughing at them and not with them, right?

I think I could write a computer algorithm that will warn people if their comment appears crazy. Mainly it will look for words in all caps.

My pitch for SyFy: Snakes on a Plane in a Sharknado

White hispanics is crazy.

I guess the question is what was the awareness for Sharknado for people who aren’t on Twitter.

If Sharknado didn’t get huge ratings, I sort of feel like we failed as a society.

What’s next? Pacific Rim is going to be a huge flop this weekend?

This is why we can’t have nice things. Nice things filled with sharks.

As penance, instead of just talking about Shark Week, we’ll actually have to watch it this year.

The best-laid schemes o’ sharknado an’ men gang aft agley, an’ lea’e us nought but grief an’ pain, for promis’d joy.

Did they speak another language in Scotland or were they just drunk all the time like the Irish?

So how did Sharknado end? Was it killed or did it wind up in prison?

Let’s vow that, no matter what the verdict is to the Zimmerman trial, we’re all going to riot.

I’ve never been hunting. I’m too sensitive. I don’t think I could take the dog laughing at me if I missed a shot.

In today’s video game, the new up up down down left right left right B A start is paying $1.99.

Finally watching Sharknado. So far, it’s been everything I hoped it would be and we haven’t even gotten to the ‘nado part.

Wow. That Sharknado was as nearly destructive to California as the state’s own government.

If you think the reason a majority are against 20+ week abortions is because they hate vaginas, you’re not taking this issue very seriously.

How could the jurors in the Zimmerman trial not have a verdict yet? Everyone outside the courtroom already has a verdict.

That was actually funny. The potty training episode of Sesame Street is “brought to you by the letter P and the number 2.”

I still don’t quite get how, in neighborhood with lots of break ins, questioning a teen you don’t recognize is the worst thing ever.

There is no reason to give time to Al Sharpton other than you want to foment racial animosity. None.

We need justice for Trayvon because he’s not inconsequential like the hundreds of other black youths who’ve been shot.

The Zimmerman trial caused a lot of debate in America, but the important thing is, at the end of the day, no one learned anything.

They should bring up Zimmerman on federal charges of not being the cartoonishly evil, racist caricature the nation demanded.

For Hispanics worried about discrimination, know that for purposes of demagoguery, you can be treated exactly the same as a white person.

Make sure you’re not profiling before you shoot the guy bashing your head into the pavement.

Future generations are going to have fun analyzing how a large majority electing a black president was a step backwards in race relations.

If you think you’re a victim of racial profiling, repeatedly bashing someone’s head into the pavement can actually make the situation worse.