Advice
Forget the past you can’t do anything about it
Don’t worry about the future it’ll happen anyway
and the present? Well forget that too, I didn’t get you a present
In light of what transpired here, I’m a little concerned about #32 being barefoot in Harvey’s kitchen on his birthday with just her apron on. I seriously doubt there would be cookies.
For his birthday on Saturday, Harvey should be given…
Launch codes.
A refund. He pumped and pumped all last year but nothing grew and extra 3″.
For his birthday on Saturday, Harvey should be given…
… whatever his little heart desires.
… a pony. And a party with balloons. And a Bouncy Castle. And lots of presents. And a clown in an Obama mask.
… the shaft, just like the rest of us.
A fancy dish to keep his teeth in.
More time as the personality in control of Franks body.
For his birthday on Saturday, Harvey should be given…
Cookies!
For his birthday on Saturday, Harvey should be given…
time off for good behavior
away.
…a waiver from Obamacare … and cookies.
…an obamacare waiver
…missed it my thaaaaaat much
…intravenous cookies!
Bacon!
…the comfy chair
…an obamaphone
For his birthday on Saturday, Harvey should be given…
unsupervised work release.
For his birthday on Saturday, Harvey should be given…
the Spanish Inquisition, he’ll never expect it.
For his birthday on Saturday, Harvey should be given…
a laurel wreath and a warm handshake.
For his birthday on Saturday, Harvey should be given…
what everyone who has everything gets, a shot of penicillin.
For his birthday on Saturday, Harvey should be given…
3 steps towards the door.
For his birthday on Saturday, Harvey should be given…
amnesty.
…a special IMAO roast!
( ) Beef
( ) Pork
( ) Chicken
For his birthday on Saturday, Harvey should be given…
a fair trial by a jury of his peers.
For his birthday on Saturday, Harvey should be given…
a more complete psychological evaluation.
fireworks!
…a bottle of Scotch and a box of Cubans.
@23: Harvey has no peers. Only a “trial by fire” is possible.
… one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer.
…tuna!
@27 judicium Dei?
High Praise!!
His Empress barefoot in her apron in his kitchen baking him cookies.
A 6 foot tall invisible Jimmy Stewart!
…chairmanship of the RNC
5 carnival tickets each good for punching one hippie in the face – and maybe a ferris wheel ride.
FREEDOM! [/scottishaccent]
…a benefit of the doubt.
…a video of Michael Moore twerking and a bottle of eye bleach.
(Not really funny but I just wanted to put that image out there…yeah…I’m a jackwagon.)
A lifetime membership to the AARP and a “Buy one, get one free” early bird coupon from Denny’s..
…an alibi.
…a mulligan.
…a pass.
…a break.
…ah hell, let’s just ignore him the entire day!
…racing stripes on his walker.
this:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/130443386/beard-oil-bacon-scented-beard-oil-for
For his birthday on Saturday, Harvey should be given…
another year of Hell on Earth.
10,000 marbles
a few days hanging the right side up.
artificial resuscitation by the starlet of his choice.
ample time to blow out ALL the candles.
champagne dreams and caviar kisses!
first shot in a Rochambeau contest.
…Hippo, birdies, two ewes.
…a chorus of “Happy Birthday” sung by an unruly crowd of drunk, IMAO Irishmen.
Advice
Forget the past you can’t do anything about it
Don’t worry about the future it’ll happen anyway
and the present? Well forget that too, I didn’t get you a present
For his birthday on Saturday, Harvey should be given…
… to a nice home, where his new owners would appreciate how wonderful having a six-foot tall invisible white rabbit would be.
(What? He’s not? Nevermind…)
An official Red Ryder, carbine action, two-hundred shot range model air rifle, to take on his next stroll around NYC.
Democratic Underground beef
all the library paste to eat that he wants for a whole day
…a seat at the grown up table. just for the day.
1. An ulcer
2. A migraine
3. A swift kick
(I don’t mean to be mean, I’m just trying to be funny. I don’t even know Harvey)
…his hearts desire, which is what we call blood here at the wish fulfillment factory.
…the most beautiful thing he has ever seen, a woman, with stuff, and cookies. Maybe a bacon chaser.
…the most beautiful thing he has never heard, Kate Rusby singing Blooming Heather.
…a nice piratey squint, a parrot and a peg-leg.
… a Teh funny Lamp.
… A ‘straight line’ of the day, if you know what I mean. — Some Skeevy Dude
… and some ‘high’ praise, if you catch my drift. — Same Dude
For his birthday on Saturday, Harvey should be given…
and not taken.
In light of what transpired here, I’m a little concerned about #32 being barefoot in Harvey’s kitchen on his birthday with just her apron on. I seriously doubt there would be cookies.
The deciding vote on a presidential recall election.
@Jimmy – no, but the situation could end up with a bun in the oven. 🙂
@57 I’m not sure what kind of insinuendo you’re trying to make because your link doesn’t work. What transpired? Where?
To follow the example of walruskkkch in @18 (but closer to canon):
For his birthday on Saturday, Harvey should be given a laurel and hardy handshale to our new … nonagenarian.
Happy birthday, ya old fart!
That obviously should be ‘handshake’. Dammit, autocorrect, where are you when I really need you?
For his birthday on Saturday, Harvey should be given…
Al Gore’s coal burning jet chair!
http://ryskindsketchbook.wordpress.com/2008/07/19/coal-burning-jet-chair/
The Moon
A Birthday Card signed by all his friends 🙂
A Family Intervention… disguised as a Birthday Party.
@61 Serves me right for being old, and not bothering to Google it.
…a gold ring forged in the fires of Mt. Doom. I’m sure it will be preciouuuussssss to him.
@68 – Please no. I just managed to get rid of my Ring of Doom…
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