Straight Line of the Day: A New Report Shows Only 17% of the Government is Actually Shut Down. The Other 83%…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

A new report shows that only 17% of the government is actually shut down. The other 83%…

63 Comments

  1. A new report shows that only 17% of the government is actually shut down. The other 83%…
    I can’t tell…stealing candy from babies? Tripping little old ladies as they cross the street? Popping little kids balloons? Got me…

  2. A new report shows that only 17% of the government is actually shut down. The other 83%…

    …are in a zombie-like, brain-dead, catatonic state – that will require us to pull the plug on them.

  3. A new report shows that only 17% of the government is actually shut down. The other 83%…

    …actually consists of 40% real people and 43% fictitious people used in payroll padding — a scheme brought to Washington by Barry’s Chicago union friends.

  4. A new report shows that only 17% of the government is actually shut down. The other 83%…

    …is not Detroit

    …reside in the remaining 7 states

    …is still way too much government

    …make the 17% look good

  5. …are in positions deemed too painless to furlough.

    …are mostly too obese to move or just too asleep to care.

    …are non-English speaking workers doing jobs Democrats are too stupid to do.

    …are either essential or claim to be some percent native American and/or some other job for life minority.

    …once saw Nancy Pelosi in the hallway and turned to stone.

  6. … Wait, how did you know that it’s 83%? Are you using basic math? Only racists use math!

    … Actually work for the government. The 17% left when they found out that no one was serving pie and punch.

    …Are temps hired to harass tourists at National Parks.

  7. Pingback: IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged!

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