Straight Line of the Day: In Order to Boost Ratings, the Final Democrat Debate Will Have…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

In order to boost ratings, the final Democrat debate will have…

40 Comments

  1. In order to boost ratings, the final Democrat debate will have…

    a swimsuit competition.

    a give away of a free weekend with Jeffrey Epstein at his personal resort.

    a trap leading to a shark tank randomly placed under one of the candidates.

    Donald Trump, guest moderator.

    all candidates using ventriloquist dummies to give their answers. [Although they may have already used this in prior debates]

    only need one person to double their previous viewership.

  2. In order to boost ratings, the final Democrat debate will have…

    the ironclad guarantee that this WILL be their final debate.

    probably done something illegal.

    all candidates chained to a rock with vultures eating their livers for all eternity.

  3. In order to boost ratings, the final Democrat debate will have…

    …cat videos.

    …shark jumping.

    …cookies with walnuts

    …at this point, what difference does it make?

    …to be preempted by a Golden Girls marathon.

  4. …done away with the usual disclaimer that this is not a Hellraiser movie and while Sanders is a pinhead, Clinton is not in fact Pinhead, sans pins.,

    …to reschedule as to not fall on Pantless Debate Day.

    …double as the Powerball drawing.

    …ISIS stoning all involved at a beach, during a sharknado, and the sharks have fricken pigs with laser beams flying out of their butts. And a split screen playing The Outlaw Josey Wales.

  5. In order to boost ratings, the final Democrat debate will have…

    huge walls of paint drying.

    every ten minutes a member of the audience, chosen at random, gets up on stage and punches one candidate in the nose.

    mandatory IRS examinations for anyone not watching.

    actual Democrats rather than all these Socialists.

    enormous steel cage, chants of “Three men enter, one man leaves…”

    Professionally home delivered “Confuse a voter” service provided by Monty Python.

    3 hours of solid commercials for Depends under garments.

  6. In Order to Boost Ratings, the Final Democrat Debate Will Have…
    … Sockpuppets! Ripe to be socked!
    IAMO archives about the ’08 democrat debates! (Find them if you dare! Or fail! Your choice!)

  7. …an Executive Order prohibiting the clinging to Bibles, guns and remote controls.

    …either an incredibly voracious flesh eating bacteria outbreak or an attack of zombiefied wolverines with a crotch first mentality.

    …an exchange of cash and arms to terrorists for their forgoing of letting prisoners choose between being beheaded or hearing Hillary speak.

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