DANGER! May Contain Ideas!

City workers in San Diego have been barred from using “biased” terms like “Founding Fathers”.

Now to be known as “those dang free-speechniks”.

Good Thing Liberals Are Here to Fix This

[High Praise! to Freedom Is Just Another Word]

Link of the Day: Satire – President Obama Nominates Himself to Supreme Court

[High Praise! to The Nil Admirari]

President Obama Nominates Himself to Supreme Court

[Think you have a link that’s IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)

We’ve All Been There

New TVs with face-scanning technology will be able to instantly measure a viewer’s reaction to a TV show.

For example, measuring the redness of the bleary-eyed Netflix binge-watcher on hour 17 of “Agents of SHIELD”.

Obama Warned Us – The US Military

“Our troops are the finest fighting force in the history of the world.” — President Obama #SOTU

@BarackObama

“We need to get them out of the Middle East before they hurt someone.”

Straight Line of the Day: The US Military Has Developed a Brand New Superweapon…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

The US military has developed a brand new superweapon…

Random Thoughts: Trump, Scalia, and Kanye

You know cartoon money bags? I once had one of those. Except there was no dollar sign on the bag; just the words “Do not remove from bank.”

Whatever, banks. You’re not the boss of me just because you kinda own my house or something.

So is Hillary going to flee to Russia like Snowden?

Why are the white nationalists supporting Trump. Shouldn’t a proper Aryan have normal-length fingers?

If Trump has killed the GOP, that’s one party down, one to go.

So Arthur Darvill plays a “Time Master” who brings along with him a companion named Rory? Why does that seem familiar?

If the readings for Audible were as over the top as portrayed in their ads there would be a lot more murder suicides.

What’s Jeb’s path to victory now? Some sort of deadly plague only he is immune to?

A vote for Hillary is a bit like a horcrux in that you have to give up a piece of your soul for it.

So is New Zealand basically Australia’s Canada?

What if someone who wasn’t a cartoon character ran against Hillary for the Dem nomination?

I just realized that I’ve never once in my life questioned what the “nut” is in Honey Nut Cheerios.

The IT equivalent of “I don’t do windows” is “I don’t do printers.”

Well, I guess it could also be “I don’t do Windows” but, sorry, we all have to deal with Windows.

“He was turned into Star Wars!” -my daughter seeing Anakin become Darth Vader in a Lego game 🙁

A lot of people are drawn in by Bernie Sanders’s childlike enthusiasm/understanding of economics.

I’m starting to seriously consider Bernie Sanders. As president, I think he’d just shout a lot and not successfully pass anything.

The Super Bowl has lost a lot of its luster ever since you could get all the ads on the Internet.

Isn’t pointing out a politician is repeating talking points a bit like pointing out a magician isn’t actually sawing a woman in half?

Why would they put the Super Bowl on against Downton Abbey? Seems like bad scheduling.

It’s great how much technology improves. Look at how much more lifelike Marco Robot is versus the failed Al Gorebot.

So is it to prove some sort of feminist point to make the first woman president the least likable woman possible?

Live Free or Vote Trump

Really seems like Hillary’s slogan of “I am a woman. If you are woman too, you must vote for me.” could use some work.

New Hampshire’s motto is “Live Free or Die” but they didn’t all die so I’m not sure what’s going on.

I want to rag on the Dems for voting for an avowed socialist, but the only other choice was Hillary.

I still think the absolute worst outcome of the primary would be Jeb versus Hillary – the country signaling it’s completely given up.

Something wacky and stupid would be way better than something as soul crushing and empty as Bush versus Clinton.

If you put gun to my head and asked me to pick one of the Republican presidential candidates, I’d do this disarming move I learned in aikido.

It would suck to be a Secret Service agent assigned to Hillary. Would they have to go to prison with her?

“Who is that weird shouting guy?”
“That’s just old man President Bernie Sanders. We all ignore him.”
Wouldn’t be the worst.

RIP Justice Scalia. Thanks for doing all you could to stand in the way of the “I do what I want!” attitude of government.

When there’s a Supreme Court vacancy, all laws are unconstitutional until further notice. It’s essentially the purge.

Some people think it’s important the Constitution actually mean something. Others don’t believe in the rule of law.

Clarence Thomas gets a disproportionate amount of hate because he’s black.

My suggestion for a Supreme Court justice is a Dalek that instead of saying “EXTERMINATE!” constantly screams “UNCONSTITUTIONAL!”

President Obama can nominate someone for the Supreme Court for the same reason he submits a budget: just for funsies.

“The strength of the Constitution should be determined by who happens to be president when a justice dies” is a dumb system.

When did they put an old-style Captain America shield on the back of the penny? Man, I barely ever see physical money anymore.

I always get picked last in recess appointments 🙁

The frustrating thing is it’s just a six page document and nine supposedly really smart people constantly disagree on what it means.

The climate is not changing. It’s evolving. Stop being Luddites.

Personally, I think Trump is a pretty weak foil for the United States of America series finale.

I have nothing against the movie Deadpool, but I’m a bit afraid of what its success will lead to.

I realized I know all about Kanye West, but I can’t recognize a single one of his songs. That really disturbs me for some reason.

So is Kanye West dead broke like Hillary Clinton?

Why do we keep arguing this like it matters? President Obama, nominate someone. Republicans, ignore him.

What Could Be More Accurate?

A South Carolina focus group called Donald Trump getting the Republican nomination “inevitable“.

Hopefully no relation to the focus groups for New Coke and Crystal Pepsi