Obviously, Covfefe is the name of Trump’s childhood sled.

When you think about it, the rise of Donald Trump is sort of Citizen Kane rebooted as a wacky comedy.

Seems like a good compromise is to tie voting and gun rights. Whatever makes you eligible for one makes you eligible for other.
One thing to make clear. Voting isn’t a right like self-defense. Voting is a compromise since the government interferes in our rights.
You don’t even have a right to a say over the affairs of anyone else, which voting purposes to be.
But as long as we’re pretending we get to tell each other what to do, I guess it’s more fair we all get to participate.

I am not concerned about climate change because unlike regressives, I am not scared of change.
“I’m an old fogey! I want a climate like we had back in the 1950s!”
Sorry, gramps. The climate is changing. Get used to it.

I don’t get the “Skip Intro” button during the Kimmy Schmidt theme song. What kind of psychopath would press that?
On the other hand, using the “Skip Intro” button consistently on House of Cards will regain you a year of your life.

I would hope the wizard equivalent of the FBI automatically places on a watchlist anyone sorted into Slytherin.

While everyone is hating on Trump, Hillary would like to remind you that she also should never be president.

The bubble I’m in is that I don’t know anyone who has gone to the theater to watch a Transformers movie beyond the first one.

We’ve declared war on France and its ally, the environment. Good.

We can sign all the treaties we want, but the environment will never stop trying to kill us. That’s just its nature.

Hillary 2020: “I’m giving you one more chance”

If we were really one non-binding agreement away from planetary destruction, we were never going to last very long.

Wow. People are freaking out about this leaving the Paris Accord almost as much as they did about the covfefe tweet.

The left today: “THE WORLD IS ENDING! WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!”
The left tomorrow: “Here’s another reason we think Mike Pence is creepy…”

Kathy Griffin and Bill Maher should get together and do a comedy special that no one will book anywhere.

“I’m sorry. Someone has murdered your family.”
“You need to find that killer and get his party affiliation so I know how outraged to be!”

The Democrats are now prosecuting secondhand racism because they’re afraid a few people still take them seriously on that issue.

For the first time, I played for my kids a Weird Al Yankovic song parodying a song they’re familiar with. It. Blew. Their. Minds.

I only support firing comedians when they become unprofitable.

The Iron Fist is a good superhero for any problem that can be solved by a glowing fist or a billion dollars.

I told my daughter to toughen up and she said only boys needed to be tough so I had to mansplain feminism to her.

I somewhat agree with socialism that I don’t deserve my money but I vehemently disagree with socialism that anyone else does.

I’m hearing rumblings about problems in the Middle East.

In the alternate universe where Trump could be elected president, “Reality Winner” does seem like the sort of name someone would have.
By the way, I’m from Earth 5. I’m not sure how I got here, but it’s a really silly place and I’d like to get home.

Things are pretty miserable here for a rich country with no actual problems.

Having finished it, Iron First definitely was the weakest of the Netflix Marvel series.
One of the biggest problems was the lead. Was he a man of action? Naive child? No one really seemed to know.