“My head I’d be scratchin’, while my thoughts were busy hatchin'”
“I was cooking while making an Instagram video like I always do,” said Ocasio-Cortez, “when my tofu omelet caught on fire. Well, I don’t know what to do about a fire. That’s for people with Nobel Prizes in physics to understand. So I just grabbed a broom and started whacking it, trying to put it out. Then my broom caught on fire, so I just ran down the stairs, screaming. Eventually my broom went out on its own, except that the bristly part was shorter and black for some reason. I wish I understood physics.”
“Anyway,” Ocasio-Cortez continued, “I walked into a big building, hoping it was a fire station full of physicists, but the only person in there was this old puffy-faced guy with white hair. He took one look at me and said ‘you liquidated her, eh? Very resourceful!‘ Then he asked me what he could give me as a reward. Well, I’m not about to turn down free stuff, even if it IS from a guy who looks like he might put his hands on my shoulders and start sniffing my hair at any second. So I told him how everyone thinks I’m dumb because I don’t understand physics.”
“Well, he brightened right up and said ‘anybody can have a brain, that’s a very mediocre commodity!’ Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a diploma and said ‘By the authority vested in me by the Universitatus Committeatum E Pluribus Unum I hereby confer upon you the honorary degree of Ph.D., Doctor of Thinkology’. Now I have no idea what that meant, but suddenly I felt so smart I spontaneously recited the Triangulean Theorem – you know, ‘the sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side.'”
“Boom!” concluded AOC, “Just like that, I understood physics! Now they can’t call me dumb anymore!”
As of this writing, Ms. Ocasio-Cortez is at home, recovering from a blow to the head from a window while trying to figure out what happened to her new red shoes that she swears she “was wearing just a minute ago.”
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Sounds like she ran into the Wizard of Socialism…Bernie Sanders.
“I could win a Nobel Prize in Physics…
if my thinking wasn’t so simplistic,
single tracked like a train.
But the thoughts I’m a thinkin’
you won’t confuse me with Lincoln
like I actually had a brain.”
Pay no attention to the Bernie Sanders look-a-like behind the curtain with the fake movie prop mustache.
AOC could have a hundred diplomas awarded to her by leftist institutions but then her mouth opens and she spouts stupid nonsense. Dumb is dumb through and through.
If brains were gun powder, she wouldn’t have enough to blow are nose, bless her heart.
Ok – what’s twice the half of one and a half ?
Cleveland!
I will note that she is much more likely to win a Nobel Prize for physics than she is to win one for economics.
But in either case you know the award was fixed.
It’ll be interesting to see just how many “honorary degrees” she will be awarded the rest of her life.
Technically, she’s already accomplished more than Obama did when he won a peace prize